He Lives in Shadow: A Flare Fairy Tale
by Halawen
Summary: Inspired by the original Beauty & the Beast TV Show it's a modern day Flare Fairy Tale. Clare has bloomed into a beauty & is attracting lots of attention at the start of school including new boy Eli. When she's saved by Fitz she's intrigued by him but can she see past his scarred appearance to the prince inside? Also w/Drianca, Owen & Adam. Drama, fluff & smut ad A/Ns please.
1. The Light of the Dark Black Night

**Welcome to my new short story!**

**Legal: I own nothing but the idea.**

**Important things to know before you read:**

***This whole thing was inspired by the original Beauty and the Beast TV Show, the good one from the late 80's with Linda Hamilton and Ron Pearlman not the new one which I couldn't even watch. Anyway I used a lot of elements from that show in this which if you've ever seen the show it will be obvious.**

***I didn't mess with the families this time but Helen and Darcy walked out on Glen and Clare. Glen is ooc in this because of the characters history in this story. The Edwards family is not and never was religious in this story.**

***This takes place in Clare's grade 10 year, Adam and Drew came to DeGrassi last year.**

***Fitz was only at the school for a few months in grade nine and therefore does not know Clare at the start of this story. He was already friends with Owen and Bianca.**

***I don't know if there are actually tunnels under Toronto but for this story there are.**

**That pretty much does it, some of that is reiterated in the story but I know some people skim. Okay enjoy the Flare fairy tale!**

**Ch. 1 The Light of the Dark Black Night**

**(CLARE)**

"Clare," Alli squeals when I step off the school bus, "your hair! You cut it all off it looks great!"

"That's not the only thing that's changed," Drew comments as Alli hugs me, "she got curves over the summer."

"Curves you're not allowed to notice because she's my best friend and you have a girlfriend," Adam scolds his brother smacking him in the back of the head. "The summer was good to you," Adam says hugging me and Drew grins at me.

"Yeah I thought spending the summer with my grandparents was going to be boring but it wasn't so bad. My cousin was there and she took me to get my haircut."

"Well you're starting your grade ten year with a new look and you're sure to be noticed," Adam comments just as I see K.C. walk into school with his arm around Jenna. When he broke my heart last year I thought I'd never speak to him again. I still don't like to be around them.

We start to walk in together and then Owen calls for Drew and he runs over and joins the football team. Adam, Alli and I walk inside, find our lockers and then go back outside before class. We sit on a picnic bench and I try not to look at Jenna and K.C. making out on the steps.

"What kind of freak drives a hearse to school?" Alli comments as an antique hearse pulls into the school parking lot.

"I think it's cool," Adam says.

"You would," Alli shakes her head.

We met Adam and Drew when they came to DeGrassi last year, Alli had a major crush on Drew and they dated for a couple weeks before breaking up. Then she started dating Johnny DiMarco. Adam and I clicked instantly and became best friends fast, I was one of the first people to find out he was trans and when K.C. dumped me for Jenna he spent the whole night cheering me up. Drew started dating Bianca just after breaking up with Alli and they've been together ever since, I think Drew and Bianca are good for each other and that Alli needs to take a break from boys, not that she will.

We watch the hearse pull into the parking lot and then wait to see the driver. A boy with longish dark hair and wearing all black comes sauntering toward the front of school. As he gets closer he looks in our direction, smirks and then walks inside. He's obviously new and I wonder who is. He's not the first boy to catch my attention since K.C. broke my heart but Declan had a girlfriend when I had a crush on him last year, and this year he's not at DeGrassi. Besides I think my crush on Declan was more admiration and a good way of getting over heartbreak.

When the bell rings we walk inside, Adam and I have our first class together so we wave to Alli and walk to class. I smile when I see the new boy in class; I bite my lip and take the desk behind his. He turns to smirk at me again and I see that his eyes are a piercing green.

"Someone has a crush," Adam teases in my ear and I twist my face at him. "You must be new," Adam says to the boy as he sits at the desk next to me.

"Yeah Eli Goldsworthy, you read The Goon," Eli comments noticing the logo on Adam's backpack.

"Yeah I love The Goon, hey you listen to Dead Hand I'm learning the bass line for Paisley Jacket," Adam tells him.

They continue talking about Dead Hand and comics until Mrs. Dawes comes in. She welcomes everyone to Writers Craft, details what we'll be doing this semester and makes a point to tell everyone that Adam and I are actually in grade ten. Then she reads to us and gives us our first assignment before giving us the rest of class to work on it.

"So you're really in grade ten? You don't look it," Eli comments as we walk out of class.

"It's the new haircut and her chest she didn't have that last year, losing the glasses and the long braids makes her look older," Adam says and I twist my mouth at my best friend.

"Smart decisions, although I guess getting the body you did wasn't exactly your decision," Eli remarks and I blush. "Any idea where auto shop is that's my next class," Eli tells us.

"Yeah down the hall and make a left you can't miss it, my brother's in that class," Adam replies.

"Cool thanks catch you guys later," Eli grins and walks off.

Adam and I have chemistry this period along with most of our friends. Jenna eats lunch with the cheerleaders and K.C. eats with the football team. Adam and I eat with Dave, Alli, Wes and Connor. Dave has had a crazy crush on Alli since last year, she tends to go for guys like Johnny and Drew but I think Dave would be good for her especially since I know she hates to be single. She also spends all of lunch complaining that she needs more popular friends. After lunch I have a spare so I do my homework, my last class is media studies which is an open elective and there's a mix of grade tens and elevens in the class including Adam, Drew, Bianca, Owen and to my pleasure Eli.

"Well if it isn't the two grade ten writers misfits," Eli grins at me and Adam earning us a look from Drew, Owen and Bianca.

"Hey Eli," Adam smiles as we all sit down.

Eli sits with Adam and I at one table while Drew, Bianca and Owen sit at the table behind us. Miss Oh comes in and starts class with a movie, when the lights go out I feel Eli lean his arm on the back of my chair and I bite my lip. Eli's attractive and I think the attraction is mutual, I've had a few other guys give me looks or compliments for the new look this year but Eli seems to be actually flirting with me and I'm quite enjoying it.

"I have to run see you two tomorrow," Eli says when class is over.

"I gotta hang while Drew's at practice want to keep me company?" Adam requests as we walk out of class.

"You're just jealous because you don't get to play little brother," Drew teases slapping Adam's shoulder lightly.

"Come watch us Clare you know you want to watch our muscles ripple," Owen comments.

"In your dreams Owen," Bianca quips smacking his arm, "I got Bright Sparks see you all tomorrow."

Bianca kisses Drew and waves to us before trouncing down the hall. Drew watches his girlfriend's backside bounce away then he and Owen walk off to the locker room to change for football practice.

"I'll come watch practice with you, it's better than going home," I shrug.

Adam puts his arm around me and we walk out to the bleachers at the football field. Adam starts on his homework but mines already done so I just sit and watch practice. While I watch the display of primal testosterone I suddenly feel another presence, someone else is here and watching but when I look around I don't see anyone, for the rest of practice however I feel like someone is watching. Adam finishes his homework just before football practice ends and we wait on the bleachers for Drew. We wave to Owen as he leaves and then K.C. comes across the field.

"I like your hair," K.C. smiles and I grin back.

"Adam let's go I'm starving," Drew says as he walks past us.

"You want a lift home Clare?" Adam offers.

"No it's okay I think I'll walk see you guys tomorrow," I wave to brothers and start walking. It's faster to cut through the ravine and I've done it lots, I'm walking along the edge of the creek and thinking about Eli. I don't notice the two guys until their right in front of me and force me to stop.

"You know a pretty girl like you shouldn't be walking alone," one of them says. I've seen them before they hang out with Reese at the ravine and they're in grade twelve when they bother to attend school. They're on the low end of the scum spectrum and even Johnny and Bruce wouldn't associate with them. It's not even five but they've both been drinking and I can see that they're also high on something.

"I'm surprised morons like you can walk upright," I shoot back in a snarky tone.

"Why don't you come have fun with us," the other one grins looking at my chest and reaching for my hand. He grabs my hand pulling me to him and I kick his leg.

"Get away from me you creep," I hiss.

He's still standing and now they're both mad, they grab at me and I swing my backpack around hitting one of them. I start to run dropping my backpack, one of them grabs my skirt and I fall flat on the ground. My head hits a rock and the last thing I hear is an angry growling voice.

"Leave her alone!"

I try to look at the source of the voice but all I see is a dark figure attacking my attackers and then my eyes close as I lose consciousness. When I awaken I'm in a dark room with flickering lights, I blink my eyes and realize they're candles. Groaning as my head hurts and trying to sit up.

"You should lay down you hit your head pretty hard," says a male voice. It's the same one that growled at my attackers but his voice isn't menacing any longer.

I reach up and feel a bandage on my head as well as some ice. I smell the scent of rubbing alcohol and see wet cotton balls nearby. I realize my mysterious savior was tending to my cuts and abrasions. I turn my head and see him; he's shrouded by shadow, only very dimly lit so I can see he's wearing a dark hoodie and jeans but I can't see his face at all. I look around, I'm in a room of sorts it's dark and cave like, the only light is from the candles. There's something very renaissance about it and sort of reminds me of the phantoms layer from Phantom of the Opera, Adam and I saw it last year when it came to town. It's warm down here, not hot just comfortable as is the bed I'm lying on, which I'm guessing belongs to my mysterious savior.

"Where am I?" I question in a groggy voice. I feel rather woozy and my head is pounding.

"My home, your safe now you should rest some more you hit your head pretty good," he repeats.

"You saved me from those guys," I comment.

"You were doing good without my help until you fell and hit your head."

"My head hurts, I feel sort of sick," I tell him groaning a little

"The tea by your bed it will help," he says leaning forward a bit to point.

I see only his right eye and eyebrow when he leans into the light a little. I think he has light brown hair and brown eyes but it's hard to see in this light. I sit up a little and take the ice from my head, picking up the cup and sipping at the tea. It tastes like licorice and peppermint, it's soothing and I set the cup down putting the ice back on my head. My eyelids are heavy and they close. I drift to sleep again. When I wake up sometime later he's still here watching me from the shadow, I feel a little groggy still but my head doesn't hurt so much now.

"If you're feeling up for it I'll take you home," he tells me.

"What time is it?" I question sitting up. I feel a little dizzy and hold my hand to my head but I don't feel sick like I did before.

"It's almost nine," he replies.

"Shit I have to get home my dad's going to kill me," I exclaim and then stand up slowly.

"I'll walk you out, these tunnels can be confusing," he tells me.

"Tunnels?"

"Under the school and most of the city," he informs me picking up my backpack. He has black gloves on his hands and his oversized hood on his hoodie keeps his face well hidden.

"I'm Clare by the way," I say as I follow him out of the room.

"I know," he replies.

"What's your name?" I ask.

"It doesn't matter."

"It does to me. I'd like to know the name of my savior. Who knows what those boys would have done had you not been there."

"You can call me Fitz," he says.

"Why do you live down here?"

**(FITZ)**

I'm watching Owen at football practice, I already watched Bianca get to Bright Sparks. There's other spectators today, Drew's younger brother Adam is here. I saw them both when they arrived last year; Drew and Owen became fast friends which wasn't surprising. Drew doesn't seem very bright but he's a good big brother, I've seen that much especially after everyone found out Adam was trans. When Bianca started dated Drew I thought it was the best decision she'd ever made.

The other spectator is Clare Edwards; I almost didn't recognize her she looks so different this year. I've seen her around the school always hanging out with Adam and the other smart kids. Clare starts looking around, she must sense she's being watched, she looks under the bleachers and I step back into the shadows behind the big trash bin so she can't see me. When practice ends I watch until Owen drives away but Clare's walking and I follow her. I just have a sense that I need to and when Nic and Marcus block her path I know why.

Nic and Marcus are two of the worst kids I've ever known. Mean for the sake of being mean, they'll drink anything to get numb and take anything to get high. They've been arrested more times than I was suspended. Clare might be short but she doesn't back down she fights, kicking Nic and hitting Marcus with her backpack. She might have even gotten away if Nic didn't grab her skirt and cause her to fall. I yell at them to leave her alone, attacking Nic from behind and putting him in a choke hold until he passes out but he's still alive. Marcus is hitting me, he pulls down my hood and I glare at him.

"Holy fuck what kind of freak are you?" He exclaims stepping back.

With Nic unconscious I'm easily able to kick Marcus in the stomach; he doubles over and throws up. I hit him a couple more times and he passes out. Hiding under my hood again I grab Clare's backpack from where she dropped it. Turning her over I see that her head is bleeding, quite a bit actually. I rip my shirt and wrap it around her head then pick her up. I don't know where she lives and I won't risk walking the streets anyway so I take her to my home. Carrying her through the tunnels and into my room I put her on my bed drop her backpack and run to get Doc.

"Doc come quickly she's hurt," I tell him. He doesn't even ask questions just runs after me back to my room.

"Why'd you bring her here?"

"She's hurt I couldn't just leave her."

"Get clean water and soap clean the cut on her I need to get my bag."

Doc leaves my room and I do as he says, he returns and gives me rubbing alcohol. I clean the cut on her head some more, he looks at her eyes and bandages her head while I clean her other scrapes. He tells me to get some ice so I sneak into the school to get it and he sits with her. Doc says she'll be okay after some rest and the cut on her head has a very small bump but he's sure she doesn't have a concussion. He tells me to watch her and get her out of here as soon as she's able. Doc makes her some tea and brings it to me, I set it by her bedside and she starts to wake up.

I tell her to lie down again, we talk for a few minutes, I tell her she's safe and to go back to sleep. When she complains that her head hurts I tell her to drink the tea but I make sure to stay in the shadows so she can't see me. Everyone's frightened of me now, except the people down here but even they are disgusted by my appearance at first. Clare sips her tea and then falls asleep again and I stay watching her. When she wakes up again she's ready to leave so I grab her backpack and start leading her out of the tunnels. She's rather chatty and is asking a lot of questions including my name which I reluctantly tell her.

"Why do you live down here?" She asks.

"I never knew my father, he took off before I was born and my mom had a lot of bad relationships. A few years ago she married this guy but he hated me and so did his son Steve. Things got real bad and I left," I tell her a short version.

"That's awful; my mom took my sister and disappeared seven years ago. It's just me and my dad now, he's not a bad guy but he's sort of given up and he brings home a lot of women but he's never gotten close to being remarried. I understand leaving when things got bad but why live in tunnels under the city? Don't you have any other family? What about a group home? My first boyfriend lived in a group home it wasn't great but he was looked after."

"I don't have any other family and I couldn't go to a group home," I reply.

"But why? If you're a minor and…"

"I just couldn't," I snap with a snarling tone and hear her gasp. I feel bad for scaring her but I don't look back at her she'll be terrified.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to…I think it's the head injury it's making me ask too many questions," she apologizes in a sheepish voice.

"It's okay I'm just not used to answering questions or talking to too many people. I'm not alone down here, there's a small community of people and we look out for each other. You can't tell anyone about us Clare, if the cops found out they'd drive us from the tunnels. Some of us have nowhere else to go," I inform her.

"I shouldn't have asked it's none of my business anyway and I promise that I will never tell anyone Fitz. Can I ask one more question? You don't have to answer," she says.

"What's the question?"

"How did you know I was in trouble?"

"I was watching my friend at football practice; I keep an eye on my friends and try to keep them out of trouble or from getting hurt, if I can help it. I saw you at football practice and when you started walking through the ravine I followed you."

"I'm very glad you did or I would have woken up with them raping me I'm sure," she says I stop walking.

"This storm drain leads to Jimmie Simpson park how far is your house from there?" I ask her as we reach the end of the tunnels.

"My house is one street over, I can get there from here," she tells me and I turn to hand her backpack to her. She starts to reach for her backpack but then grabs my hoodie and pulls it down revealing my face. She gasps shrinking away in horror as everyone does, her hands held to her mouth in fear and I drop her backpack turning away. "Wait," she says grabbing my arm and moving in front of me. She puts her hand on my shoulder kissing my right cheek just between the two scars and releases my arm. "Thank you for saving me Fitz and for taking care of me," she smiles and then takes her backpack and walks out of the tunnel to the park.

I watch her when she's under a streetlight she turns back and smiles at me and I smile back, I haven't smiled in a long time but I smile at her. I put my hoodie back up to hide my face and follow her home from a distance, staying in the shadows but I'm making sure that she's safe. And I want to know where she lives, other than Doc she's the only person that didn't run when they first saw me and wasn't so terribly scared of my appearance. I can still feel the gently soft tingle of her lips on my cheek. On one of the few parts of my skin that isn't scarred and mutilated but she kissed me and she didn't run.

When I see Clare is safely in her house I return to the tunnels and my home. I sit on my bed and smile even more when I breathe in her scent which has permeated my pillow.

"Will she keep our secret?" Doc asks coming into the room.

"She promised not to say anything and I believe her."

"I know that look in your eye, be careful son she'll break your heart."

**(CLARE)**

Dad didn't come home last night, not unusual for him, so he didn't see gauze wrapped around my head or yell at me for being home late and not calling. There's also a scrape on my cheek but it isn't bad, and a few scratches and minor cuts and bruises on my hands, arms and legs. I'm already ready for school and in the washroom unwrapping the gauze from my head. It looks rather nasty actually, a cut that's about an inch big but it's over a small bump and surrounded by bruising. I put some antiseptic cream on it and cover it with a large round bandage; it's quite visible but doesn't look as nasty as the cut, bruise and bump.

I thought of Fitz all last night and stayed up very late unable to shake the vision of him from my mind. His face is like something from a nightmare but he isn't. When I first saw him it was a shocking terror, like a vision from a nightmare. An image from a horror movie that would make me scream and hide my head. His face is frightening but he is not, he's sweet and nurturing, I felt connected to him in weird way. I'm fairly certain he wasn't born like that, I'm sure that something happened to him but I was afraid to ask last night.

He has a slash across his face, going from his right temple under his eye, across the bridge of his nose, down his left cheek to the corner of his chin. He has another cut going from the right corner of his mouth to his chin and down his neck. Both cuts are oddly scarred and almost look like still open wounds that split his face in two, and gives the one side of his mouth an almost muzzle like appearance. The entire left side of his face is red and slightly pitted, the skin looks almost melted and stretched and it seems swollen in a way. I saw the same thing on his neck only more stretched and melted looking and not as red. It looks partly like Freddy Krueger and partly like Two-Face from Batman. He looks monstrous but he himself was anything but monstrous.

"What happened to you?" Adam inquires as I join him, Drew and Dave on the steps when I get to school.

"I fell walking home through the ravine last night," I tell them which is technically true.

"You okay?" Adam questions looking at the bandage under my bangs.

"Yeah it's just a bump and a few scratches and bruises," I reply walking into school and they follow me. We go to our lockers and I smile when I see mine, decorated by flowers that have been made origami style with paper. They're beautiful, all made of white paper but I see orchids, lilies and even roses. I'm sure Fitz did this somehow, got into the school and decorated my locker.

"Whoa guess you impressed Eli yesterday," Alli comments.

"I don't think Eli did this," I reply.

"Don't think I did what?" Eli asks appearing suddenly.

"Decorated Clare's locker with paper flowers," Adam says.

"Wasn't me, flowers aren't my style. So who was the Romeo?" Eli asks and I'm fairly certain I hear jealousy in his tone.

"I don't know," I shake my head. I'm still certain it was Fitz but I promised not to say anything about him or where he lives and I will keep my promise.

"Told you the new look was working you have a very romantic secret admirer," Alli grins and Eli humphs.

I open my locker and get my book out while everyone is conjecturing on who the secret admirer might be. Drew leaves the group as soon as he sees Bianca and the rest of us walk out to the foyer. The subject of my secret admirer is dropped in lieu of Friday's football game. When the bell rings Adam, Eli and I walk to class, we're split into pairs to work on assignments and I get paired with Eli. We talk more than we work, there's definitely a mutual attraction and we have a lot in common. We like a lot of the same music and the same plays, many of the same authors and poets. He sparks me intellectually and physically and yet as attracted as I am to Eli I can never get the intrigue of Fitz off my mind. There are times throughout the day that I could swear I feel him nearby watching me. I never see him though he stays well hidden but I'm sure he's there.

Adam and I get paired in media studies for a project and he invites me to come home and work on it at his house. Since Drew has football practice after school we start walking until Eli offers us a ride in Morty. There's only one seat and I sit in the middle, the hearse is somewhat unsettling but it's a quick ride to Adam's house. We thank Eli for the ride and go in through Adam's basement greeting his mom when she comes downstairs. Adam tells her we were paired on the project and Owen will probably come home with Drew since they got paired on the same project. In fact the two of them arrive home just before dinner and at the same time as Omar. We all eat dinner together and then Adam and Drew have to clean up so Owen and I go downstairs to the basement. I've finished my other homework so I begin working on my story for writers craft class but I begin thinking about Fitz and my thoughts take over what I'm writing.

"Owen," I venture and he looks up at me with a cocked eyebrow wondering what I could possibly want of the football player. "When you first came to DeGrassi in grade nine was there a boy that went by the name Fitz in your class?"

The dark haired blue-eyed boy lowers his eyebrow and twists one side of his mouth, "Yeah. Fitz was one of my best friends. Bianca and I met him in grade six, his mom had just remarried and his stepfather was an ass. His stepbrother Steve is a year older than me he still goes to DeGrassi."

"He does?"

"Yeah Steven Bowes," Owen says.

"I know him he's a jerk; he's almost always in trouble for beating up someone."

"Yeah and a couple years ago it was usually Fitz but then their house caught fire and Fitz disappeared. Some people thought that Fitz set the fire and ran away; it's what I like to think. I wouldn't blame him, his stepdad and stepbrother made his life hell. Fitz was always showing up at school with cuts and bruises. Other people think Fitz's stepdad killed him and dumped the body somewhere."

When Owen tells me this theory I see a sadness in his eyes over his long lost friend. I know now that Fitz was watching Owen at football practice. I want to tell Owen that Fitz is alive and looking after him and Bianca but I can't break my promise. It's up to Fitz to reveal himself to Owen and Bianca if he chooses to.

"That's terrible," I comment and realize most of Fitz's scars must have come from the fire.

"How'd you know about Fitz anyway you weren't at DeGrassi when Fitz was there and you didn't go to the same junior high as us," Owen remarks.

"I thought I heard someone talking about him at school yesterday," I mumble a reply and Owen squints his face like he doesn't believe me. He doesn't have time to ask questions though as Drew and Adam come back down the stairs.

"Mom's all freaked out because a couple of guys were attacked near the school in the ravine. They had cracked ribs and a lot of bruising, both were knocked unconcious. The police think it was gang related but Mom said you shouldn't walk home alone through the ravine anymore," Drew tells us.

"Didn't you say you fell near the ravine?" Adam questions.

"Yeah but I didn't see anyone," I reply.

"Well Mom can't get a hold of your dad she said you should sleep here," Adam tells me.

"Sounds good," I smile. Since Dad is often gone I stay here a lot, here or Alli's and I have extra clothes at both places. There's a bed in a little alcove down here in the basement and that's where I sleep. Bianca stays here a lot too because her aunt is a lot like my dad and Bianca has extra clothes here too.

Owen leaves after finishing his project with Drew, the three of us stay up watching TV for a little while. The Torres brothers tell me goodnight and go upstairs. I don't turn on the lights since I know my way around. Going to where the bed is and opening the top drawer of the dresser to get out my pajamas and then I stop. I look out the window barely able to make out the figure in the moonlight. It's Fitz, I can see his hood, the way he stands, I know it's him.

"The flowers on my locker it was you wasn't it?" I ask quietly as I open the basement door.

"Did you like them?"

"They were lovely, come inside it's freezing out here," I insist waving him inside.

"No I shouldn't," he shakes his head, "I should go home."

"Fitz wait please," I run out and grab his arm. "Owen told me about your stepdad and stepbrother. Most of your scars are from the fire aren't they?"

"Yeah."

"The cuts on your face did they do that?"

"Steve cut me but Barry, my stepdad, he used the fire poker to cauterize them but it only made it worse. He set the fire just two days later; I hadn't left the house since getting cut so no one had seen me. I blacked out during the fire and woke up in the hospital, they didn't know who I was and I wasn't going to go back to my family. So as soon as I was strong enough I left the hospital."

"Owen's worried about you, he still cares about you, he's still your friend," I plead with Fitz hoping he'll reveal himself.

"Not like this, people can barely look at me and my face is only part of it, I was burned on over 30% of my body. I have to get home but I'll be watching you like I do for Owen and Bianca," he says. I hear a noise in the house and a light comes on in the kitchen, I look away from Fitz at the light and when I look back Fitz has vanished.

I want to know more, I want to know him, I'm so intrigued and by so much more than his appearance. An appearance that's hideous and grotesque but also sad in a way. I didn't see him tonight, he kept hidden in the shadows but I wish I wouldn't. He told me he lives in tunnels below the school so I decide to explore the school on my spare tomorrow and find these tunnels.

**Update Friday April 17****th**** starting the next day with Clare exploring and learning more about Fitz.**


	2. I've Been the Bull, I've Been the Whip

**Thank you to everyone who read favorited and/or followed and a huge thank you to those that took time to review. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Ch. 2 I've Been the Bull, I've Been the Whip**

**(CLARE)**

"Are we going to find more flowers on your locker?" Drew teases as we walk into school Wednesdaymorning.

"Yeah I saw those I was going to ask who the secret admirer was?" Owen inquires joining the group.

"I don't know but it was very sweet," I smile thinking of Fitz.

"You sure it wasn't Eli he was flirting with you a lot yesterday," Drew remarks.

"I think Eli's style would be more literary prose and album covers," Adam comments and I nod in agreement.

We part from Owen and Drew and go to our lockers; the flowers are still up because I don't want to take them down. Adam and I get our books are hang out in the memorial garden until it's time for class. We work on our writing assignments in class and at the end we're put into groups for a project that's due next week. Adam, Eli and I are put into one group and given the project of modernizing Romeo and Juliet.

"You guys want to come over to my place after school to work the project?" Eli asks as we leave class.

"Doesn't your dad sleep in the afternoons?" Adam questions.

"It won't bother him, although maybe it is better if we don't go to my house," Eli responds.

"Well we can't go to mine, Dad might not mind that Adam is there but he won't like you being there. He barely even likes me to be alone with Adam," I comment rolling my eyes.

"Is your dad afraid you're going to do naughty things when you're alone with a boy?" Eli teases putting an arm around my shoulders.

"Yeah probably considering he doesn't keep his dating activities very secret," I comment but get a little thrill for his arm being around me.

"We can go to my house, Drew has football anyway," Adam responds.

"Cool see you guys in Media Studies," Eli waves running for auto shop.

Adam and walk I chemistry and sit at our desks. After chemistry we eat lunch with Alli and Dave and after lunch I have a spare. I decided last night I'd use my spare to explore the school and try to find where Fitz lives. I wait near my locker until the halls are fairly clear and then I walk to the back of school and the boiler room. I know how to get there but I've never been in. I'm fairly surprised to find the door unlocked, I hear a lot of noises but no one is inside it's just noises in the school. The boiler room itself seems fairly dark and small but I see another door at the back. It's also unlocked and there's a small stairway. Descending the stairway I find myself in a tunnel, small and dark with wires and pipes running through it. I look through the tunnel, there must be access to more of the tunnels from here, Fitz told me the tunnels ran under the school. It's so dark down here I can barely see, I run my hand along the wall to find my way.

Up ahead I see a grate in the floor, like a manhole cover of sorts, it must lead to tunnels further down. I bend down wrapping my hands around the metal slats and try to pull but it doesn't budge. The bars aren't thin and rounded but long and flat, I can hardly wrap my fingers around them and the edges dig into my hands. I try pulling again, pulling as hard as I can but my hands slip and I start to fall backwards. I gasp trying to find my footing and bracing expecting to fall on the ground. Instead I'm caught by a pair of arms and swooped up, instinctually my arms go around his neck. Despite the darkness I know who it is before he speaks.

"Clare what are you doing down here?" Fitz asks sounding worried, annoyed and happy all at once. He's wearing his oversized hood even in the darkness of the room. He seems more shadow than man but I'm not scared in the least bit, actually I feel rather happy to be in his arms.

"Looking for you, I wanted to know how to find you," I reply.

"I'll find you, you can't just go wandering the tunnels and underbelly of the school it's dangerous. And we don't live in the sewers," he admonishes looking at the grate I was trying to remove.

"Then how do you get into the school and how'd you know I was here?" I question as he sets me down.

"See you've hurt your hand I told you it's dangerous down here," he comments picking up my hand and looking at my palm, middle and ring finger that were cut and scraped by the grate. He also avoids both of my questions. Fitz takes a bandana from his pocket and wraps it around my hand. "You should go see the school nurse to have that cleaned and bandaged. Come on I'll walk you back to the boiler room," he insists putting his hand at the small of my back and guiding toward the entrance to the school again.

"You never answered my questions," I point out and stop walking.

"My world is a secret remember? If it were just me I would tell you everything, show you everything you wanted to see but it's not just my world. We don't trust outsiders, many of us have been hurt or suffered great tragedies and just couldn't cope with life out there anymore. I can't betray their trust by showing you, as much as I want to. I just knew you were down here I can't explain it exactly but I just knew. Now please go back and see the nurse," He asserts again.

"But…" I begin to argue as he opens the door and he speaks quickly to cut me off.

"I'll be watching you, looking out for you like Owen and Bianca," he says.

"They miss you, well I know Owen misses you he was sad when talking about you and I'm sure Bianca misses you too. Don't you think they'd be happier knowing you're alive than wondering what happened?"

"No let them think I took off after what happened, they don't need to see me like this," he responds.

"Fitz it's not that bad," I argue.

"It is, it's disfiguring and frightening I know it is and I don't want them to think of me this way," he contends having pushed the boiler room door open all the way. He waves for me to go through but my feet stay firmly planted on the steps.

"It's not so frightening and y…" I start to dispute but Fitz growls a little and cuts me off.

"You don't think this is frightening," he says and rips his hood off stepping into the light so his face is revealed.

I've seen his face before but he usually keeps it hidden by his hood or darkness. Despite seeing it for the first time only a couple of daysago I seem to have forgotten how truly bad the scarring is, how it disfigures him into a beastly looking creature rather than a teenage boy. His skin and flesh doesn't look human and the severity of it is heartbreaking and I react. Gasping and moving back with a hand to my mouth. I move back too quickly and lose my footing on the steps, I begin to fall back but Fitz moves with cat-like reflexes and grabs my arm pulling me up and through the door. I put my head on his chest, shameful tears rupture from my eyes and pour down my cheeks. I feel awful for being frightened again, for reacting how I did and making him feel terrible too, I saw it in his eyes. I tried telling him it wasn't so bad but I've seen his face before and I still shrunk away in fright and shock. After a few seconds Fitz slowly and timidly puts one arm around my back to hold me to him.

"I'm sorry," I blubber gripping his dark grey hoodie that is currently being saturated by my disgraced and apologetic tears. "I didn't mean to cower away like that, I've already seen it I knew how bad it was I don't know why I reacted that way I'm sorry."

"You reacted that way because you're human Clare. People will instinctually back away from anything scary or ugly looking. I know how I look and I know how everyone reacts, not just you. Even the people in the tunnels are scared at first because I look like a monster. That's why I live in the shadows. I don't want Owen and Bianca to see me like this I want them to remember me as they last saw me," he says and pulls me from his chest but I feel the reluctance when he does. "You need to go see the nurse. I may not want to be seen but I'll be watching, always."

I wipe my tears and look up at him, he's already put his hood back up to cover his face. I bite my lip still feeling badly for my reaction. I know he's not a monster, he's anything but a monster but I pulled away.

"Here you should take this back," I say taking his bandana from my hand.

He takes it and disappears through the door before I can say anything else. I leave the boiler room walking to the nurse's office. She cleans my hand and puts a few bandages around my fingers and the top of my palm. I spend the rest of my spare period in the library doing homework.

**(FITZ)**

"You missed dinner," Doc says coming in with a plate for me.

"I wasn't hungry," I reply.

I watched Clare, Owen and Bianca at school for a while after she came down looking for me but it started to become painful to watch her. They all have media studies together last period along with Drew, Adam and the new kid Eli. I know Eli likes Clare, I watch him flirt with her, I watch her smile and blush when he does. Worst of all I watch her bite her lip, sometimes all it takes is a look from him and she'll draw her lip between her teeth. Just a corner of her lip and the pink flesh turns white with the pressure from her teeth. Her eyes light up and her cheeks turn a little pink, it's such a shy flattered look like she doesn't believe she's pretty enough to have earned his affections. I want her so badly to look at me that way but she never will. Knowing this and watching them flirt it hurts, more than it should, more than any physical pain I've had and I stop watching. Slinking back into the shadows, to the tunnels and the dark where I belong. I've been laying on my bed staring at my stone ceiling ever since.

"It's better to let her go Fitz, she can't be part of this world and you can't be a part of hers. I wish it was different but you know what people are like," Doc advises setting the plate down and sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I can't, as much as it hurts I can't. I won't stop watching her and protecting her."

"I know you won't because you are the protector, you do it for everyone whether they know it or not. Many, if not all of us, down here rely on that protection and I know many of us would have been killed or injured if not for the protective instinct so deep inside you. Protect her and watch her as you do your other friends but let her go, let her live her life and find someone who…"

"Doesn't have to hide," I finish for him.

"No that's not what I was going to say. Someone who can be with her and is part of that world out there," Doc says giving me a somewhat scolding look.

"But it's true, she'll never look at me without seeing a monster."

"You should eat," Doc tells me leaving my room with a compassionate look. Since coming here he's been the closest thing I have to father.

I eat a little but I really don't have an appetite, I know Clare is at Adam's but so is Eli. Football practice is over but when I go to the whispering spot I can still hear Bianca's voice. The whispering spot is how I keep track of my friends in the school most of the time. A little corner of the boiler room where are all the vents and air ducts in the school seem to lead. You can hear conversations all over the school, sometimes it's hard to pick them apart and distinguish the various voices but I can usually pick out Owen and Bianca, they both have pretty loud voices. She's just leaving Bright Sparks so I follow her out, she waves to K.C. and Connor who are going home with Mr. Simpson. She starts her car and starts to pull out then stops again to talk on her phone. She sets the phone down after a minute and starts driving again but the car sputters and then backfires before dying.

Bianca gets out holding her backpack and slamming the door in annoyance and frustration. She kicks her car and starts walking so I follow her. I know the path to her aunt's apartment, the ravine and alleys run along or close to the streets she'll be walking. In the areas that don't I'll simply follow her at a distance. She gets past The Dot and the middle class area, she's only a couple of blocks from her apartment when she goes into a convenience store. I walk to the alley behind it, leaning on the wall and waiting for her. The alley is full of trash and darkness so I won't be seen. Four figures in hoodies and baggy jeans at the end of the alley catch my attention. I know the two at the front, Vince Bell and Anson Russ. In the summer between eighth and ninth grade Bianca began hanging with them, she was having a really hard time with her aunt, Owen was gone for most of the summer, Drew wasn't yet in the picture and I was dealing with Steve and Barry so I wasn't paying too much attention to what she was doing. I really wish I had been, she started dating Anson, doing drugs and Anson raped her, more than once. When Owen came back and we found out she was high and how they were treating her we got her out, with some help from Johnny's gang. They don't go to DeGrassi so normally we don't see them, they don't even live on this side of town so they shouldn't be here.

"Hey B what are you doing out here all by your lonesome?"

"Go to hell Anson," she spits back at him.

"I missed that fiery tongue of yours, I'll give you something to cool it off with," he says grabbing his crotch.

"Fuck you," Bianca replies. They circle her now and pull her into the alley, she kicks Vince in the nuts sending him to the ground but Anson shoves her to the wall.

"HEY ANSON YOU PUKE WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON SOMEONE THAT CAN TAKE YOU ALL ON?" I growl as menacingly as I can sound. Then I pick up a discarded hubcap in the alley tossing it like a Frisbee but with enough strength that when it hits Anson in the forehead it makes a _CRACK _that echoes through the alley.

Bianca seizes the opportunity to run, kneeing Anson in the nuts she takes off for home like I hoped she would. The two whose names I don't know look at Bianca running and back at Vince and Anson both doubled on the ground in pain.

"Get that mother fucker he let B get away," Anson growls and they come after me.

I duck around the corner behind the building and wait for the two of them. They come around a second a later but I'm prepared, grabbing them by the hoodies I whirl them around and slam their faces into the wall. They make grunts and fall back to the pavement unconscious.

"Micah, Jim do you have him? Don't kill him yet I want to get a few punches in," Anson calls and I hear walking around the corner. There's a pipe running over the door so I leap up and grab it, swinging up and out of sight.

"Yeah me too I'm going to make that little pussy pay," Vince calls. "Micah, Jim wha…" they stop when they see their buddies on the ground.

"Where is that fucker I'm going to rip him a new a…"

"Looking for me?" I interrupt making them both turn around as I swing down and thereby kick them both in the chest. They fall to the ground coughing and I get on top of Anson sitting on his chest so it's even harder for him to breathe. I make sure my hood is down enough that they can't see me, although he may be too dizzy to see me anyway. "Stay away from Bianca, go near her again and you'll regret it. If I so much as hear that you plucked a hair from her head I'll break all your fingers just for doing so. Just think what I'll do if you touch her in any other way. You and all your little gang members stay the hell away from Bi…" I stop when I get hit hard from behind. I feel the impact but very little pain.

"What the fuck? You should have gone down, what are you wearing body armor?" Vince questions confused and surprised the blow didn't knock me down. I turn back to see he hit me with a long jagged piece of wood that has a couple nails at the end that he hit me with.

"Can't really feel pain back there, all the nerve endings got burnt so bad most of them don't even work now. They didn't mend properly Doc told me," I comment standing up and putting my hoodie down so he can see my burned and scarred face.

"Shit!" Vince says but he's so shocked I grab his shoulders and connect his forehead to my knee. Vince goes down semi-conscious and Anson struggles to get up. I put my hood back up and kick Anson in the stomach so he struggles to breathe again.

"Stay away from Bianca, all of you," I growl and stroll out of the alley since they're all down. I walk to Bianca's building and go up by the fire escape to make sure Bianca got home just fine. I see her in her room doing homework so I go home myself. I might not have felt the pain of the board hitting me but I feel blood trickling down my arm, I guess the nails got me.

"What happened?" Doc asks when he sees me leaning in the doorway of his room.

"Bianca's ex tried to attack her," I tell him.

"Sit down and take off all of your top layers I need to see what the damage is," he says and I sit on his bed taking off my hoodie and shirt. "You know sometimes I wish you wouldn't always try to play the hero," he reprimands but there's also pride in his voice. "What did you get hit with?" Doc questions as he starts cleaning it.

"A board with nails in it."

"You'll need a tetanus shot, you'll have a bruise too. You'll feel it, at least a little it will make your muscles stiff. I'll send someone to one of our friends above to get you a shot. For now take this, a blanket antibiotic to keep away infection and go lay down," Doc orders.

"Thanks Doc," I smile grabbing my hoodie and shirt and go to my room. I don't care that I got hurt only that Bianca is safe.

**(CLARE)**

"What happened to your hand?" Adam questions when I walk into media studies with my hand bandaged.

"I was outside doing homework and cut my hand on the table," I lie but it's slightly awkward and Adam gives me a look that says he doesn't believe me.

"I'll kiss it better," Eli comments as we sit down. He puts my hand in his and softly kisses the bandage.

I bite my lip habitually and feel myself blush. I feel Fitz watching too, I know he's here and I look down. Miss Oh comes in and starts class, each table is given an assignment to turn in at the end of class. Eli flirts with me a bit more and a short time after class starts I feel Fitz's presence suddenly gone. After school Drew and Owen have football and Bianca has Bright Sparks while Eli, Adam and I have our writers craft project to work on. We say goodbye to them and Eli takes us all in his hearse to Adam's house. We sit in the basement and begin on the script for our project.

"So Clare will play Juliet obviously and I'll be Romeo, on account that I'm so familiar with the material," Eli remarks.

"What if Clare doesn't want to kiss you?" Adam teases.

"You want to kiss me don't you Edwards," Eli smirks.

"I uh, I'm going to get a drink anyone want anything?" I ask getting up and avoiding Eli's question. The boys shake their heads and I go to the fridge to get some juice. We get back to work on the project and we're just fine tuning the script when Owen and Drew arrive.

"Mom and Dad are at a dinner she said to order pizza so I invited Owen over," Drew explains.

"You two want to stay for dinner?" Adam asks.

"Great I love pizza," Eli responds.

"I should probably get home," I reply getting out my phone to see the time. Instead I find a text from Dad, he's bringing a date home and tells me to stay out late. "Never mind," I comment.

"You sleeping over again?" Adam questions.

"If it's okay?"

"Why don't we just adopt her and have her move in permanently?" Drew chides.

"You know it's fine," Adam smiles.

"I think she just likes being surrounded by so many guys, probably wants to kiss us all," Eli jokes and I blush.

"No way Clare's too prudish she's barely even kissed," Owen remarks.

"I am not and I've kissed plenty of guys," I argue, "K.C. for one."

"Who left you for Jenna because you wouldn't have sex with him," Owen reminds me and Adam smacks him upside the head.

"There was Declan and Wesley," I tell them.

"My mistake you've kissed three whole guys," Owen says.

"Leave her alone," Drew admonishes him.

"Hey I didn't say it was a bad thing. It's good when a girl doesn't just show off all her skin and just sleeps with first guy that smiles at her. Shows she has self-respect, I like a girl with self-respect," Owen tells me and I smile.

"I agree," Eli nods and I turn to smile at him, I barely turn my head and he presses his lips to mine. "And now you've kissed four boys," he smirks and I blush.

"I bet you've been waiting to do that all afternoon," Adam teases and Eli glowers at him.

"Pizza's on it's way, I got three large and breadsticks. We need plates from upstairs," Drew tells us.

"Eli help me get the plates," Adam requests and they go upstairs.

"I bet you and Eli will be dating by the end of the week," Drew comments sitting on the sofa.

"We're just flirting I barely know him."

"Yeah but he likes you, and you like him," Owen remarks.

"Have you ever liked more than one girl at a time?" I ask the two jocks.

"Are you kidding? I always have at least ten crushes simultaneously," Owen replies with a grin.

"Which may be why you never have a steady relationship with one girl," Drew chides him and Owen shoots him a look. "So who are the dual crushes Clare?" Drew questions.

"The other boy doesn't go to our school you wouldn't know him," I respond.

"Ooh mysterious," Drew jokes.

"Yes he is," I nod just as Eli and Adam come back down with plates and napkins.

We all eat pizza, while doing homework. Eli, Adam and I were so busy working on our project that we didn't do the rest of our homework. Owen leaves a little after ten when the Torres parents are back, they say it's fine for me to stay. Eli leaves a little after Owen and we go to bed a little after midnight. I keep hoping Fitz will come like last night but I don't see him. He's in my dreams though, I see him there, still hiding in shadow even in my dreams. Omar leaves before we're even up for breakfast. After we eat and we're ready for school Drew drives the three of us to school. After arriving and walking inside Drew joins a good number of the football players right inside the school. Mr. Bettankamp calls Adam over and I go to my locker, after getting out my books I go sit on a bench in the hall looking at our script for class. I see Bianca leaning on her locker down the hall and she looks tired. I'm not the only one to notice as Owen comes up to his locker and gives Bianca a concerned look.

"You look like you didn't sleep at all last night," Owen comments.

"Didn't get much, saw Anson and Vince last night, with two of their cronies," Bianca replies and Owen suddenly changes. His posture gets straight and stiff, his chest puffs out, his face goes red and his eyes wide.

"Tell me I just fucking heard you wrong? Did they do anything? Did they touch you?" Owen growls.

"They tried, they wanted to. I kicked a little ass and then this guy at the end of the alley called to them. He had this growling sort of inhuman voice but there was something familiar about it too. He threw a hubcap right at Anson's head and while they were distracted by him I took off and ran home. Still couldn't sleep I kept worrying they'd come to the apartment."

"So who saved you?" Owen inquires but I already know who saved her and I smile.

"I don't know I never saw the guy he was only in shadow," Bianca shrugs.

"So you were saved by Batman then. What they hell were you doing alone in an alley at night in their neighborhood?"

"I was in my neighborhood not theirs, my car broke down as I was leaving last night and I had to walk home. I got a couple of the teachers to push it back into a parking spot this morning but I don't know what's wrong and I can't afford to fix it," she informs him.

"Yeah well you're not walking home again, not alone. If they came to your neighborhood they were probably looking for you. Stay at Drew's tonight and if you need a ride again call me or him," Owen orders her.

"Yes Dad," she shoots back sardonically.

"I'm not kidding B; they get their hands on you…"

"Owen I know, I appreciate the concern and I promise not to walk home alone," she smiles kissing Owen's cheek.

"Hey where's my morning kiss?" Drew whines from down the hall.

"Right here Babe," she replies attacking her boyfriend's lips.

I want to go tell her it was Fitz, tell them he's alive and watches out for them. I want to but I promised I wouldn't and he's afraid of how they'll react, how they'll see him. Given how I reacted yesterday I can't blame him.

"Are you watching my brother and Bianca make out for a reason?" Adam inquires in low voice as he sits next to me.

"No I was just spacing out, what time is it? When do classes start?"

"Fifteen minutes why?"

"I need to go to the library," I reply getting up. Adam follows me to the library and start looking at the shelves for what I want.

"Okay now why do you need the yearbook from two years ago?" Adam inquires when I find the book I'm looking for.

"Looking for someone," I reply leafing through the yearbook. I don't even know Fitz's last name but I want to see him. I see Bianca and Owen, Johnny, Bruce, Riley, Zane, Sav, Anya, Holly J and a bunch of other people I'm familiar with but no Fitz. I don't see the name Fitz anywhere or anything that sounds like Fitz, or anyone that looks like him. "He isn't here," I sigh setting the book down.

"Who?"

"Never mind come on let's get to class."

Adam shrugs and we go to class but I decide to go back to the boiler room and the room beyond it on my spare again. Fitz came there once maybe it will work again. I'll also try to talk to Owen and maybe even Bianca at lunch, they knew him maybe they'll have Fitz's picture. I have so many questions, so much I want to know and no matter how much I flirt with Eli I can't get Fitz off my mind.

**Update Friday May 15****th**** likely picking up at lunch and Clare asking questions. Also including Fitz and more of his world as his relationship with Clare deepens. But she also gets closer to Eli.**


	3. Desert that Borders Between Me & You

**So DeGrassi as a High school for supernatural beings and creatures won the story poll. Now you guys need to vote on what kind of supernatural/mythic beings all the main and secondary characters will be. This week you get to vote on what you'd like Owen, Jenna and Sean to be. All the character polls will be up for one week.**

**Check the site for the winners in last week's poll Clare, Maya and Jay's characters have been decided. While you're at the site check out the calendars for June and July which have now been posted.**

**Also September's one shot week one shots have been decided. Huge thank you to Christlove88, dragonsprit, tomfeltonlover1991, Red2012, Truebloodfan83, Jenne11, COCOACOLEMAN, ForeverAndAlways37 and AJackson16 for voting and please check the site for the winning one shots, as well as 2****nd**** place shots that will be put into October and possibly November when I get to those calendars.**

**Ch. 3 Desert that Borders Between Me &amp; You**

**(CLARE)**

"Hi Owen," I greet while he's stuffing books in his locker at lunch. He looks over and cocks an eyebrow at me wondering what I want.

"Hey Clare," he nods.

"I was wondering about Fitz. I tried to find his picture in the yearbook but there was nothing," I explain.

"Not surprising," Owen says closing his locker and starts walking so I follow him, "Fitz was only in grade nine for a couple of months before the fire. So what do you want to know and why do you care so much?"

"Journalistic curiosity," I respond quickly. "Well what was he like? What did he like to do? What did he like to study?"

"He didn't like to study anything, other than girls anyway. He liked to drink and party at the ravine, the three of us did. He was a good guy, well to us anyway he was a bully but the three of us were. He was a good friend, loyal and protective of the people he cared about," Owen tells me and I smile because I know it's still true.

"Hey Blue Eyes you're eating with us aren't you?" Eli asks coming over with Adam just as Owen was about to say something else.

"Yeah," I grin and walk off with Eli and Adam.

"What were you talking to Owen about?" Eli inquires as we walk outside.

"Oh nothing," I reply.

The three of us sit at a picnic table and mainly discuss our project over lunch. We stay outside until the bell rings and then they go to their classes but I'm on my spare. After stashing my backpack in my locker I return to the boiler room. I walk through that to the room behind and go down to the depths of the school. I start looking around, Fitz had to come from somewhere, there has to be a door or a grate or something down here. I begin looking around; feeling my way around the dark room and very much wishing I'd brought my phone or a flashlight. Suddenly I see a light shining in my direction, I turn around to see where it's coming from and a hand clamps down on my arm. I gasp and jump back until the light is turned to his face and I see that it's just Owen.

"It's me what are you doing down here?" Owen questions.

"While I was looking the yearbook I came across some old blue prints of the school and wanted to explore," I lie quickly.

"More journalistic curiosity?"

"Yes exactly," I nod.

"Come on let's get out of here I don't think it's safe down here," Owen says taking my arm.

I feel Fitz in the dark but he doesn't say anything or make a sound. I can't tell Owen so I remain quiet and we go back into the school. Owen and I spend the rest of our spare in the memorial garden doing homework. He's not letting me out of his sight now and I'm not sure he believes me about finding the blueprints but he doesn't ask. When the bell rings Owen and I walk to Media Studies together.

"Spending a lot of time with Owen aren't you?" Eli asks as I sit down.

"Why Eli are you jealous?" I tease him.

"Just want to know who my competition is," he replies.

"I highly doubt you have to worry about Owen as competition," Adam remarks.

"I like competition," Owen chimes in from their table behind us.

"Yeah but not over me," I call back.

"You'd never be able to stand a relationship with him anyway," Drew comments.

"I somehow doubt I'm that mysterious crush of hers anyway," Owen remarks.

"You have a mysterious crush Edwards?" Eli smirks.

"Yep someone even more mysterious than you because you aren't her mysterious crush," Owen replies for me and I blush biting my lip.

"Well as long as I'm in the running," Eli smirks picking my hand up to kiss it. "And seeing as I am in the running how about a date tomorrow night?"

"Okay," I smile.

"Good," Eli smirks again.

"Owen I think we're going to need girlfriends soon or we'll be the odd men out," Adam comments and we laugh as the teacher comes in.

When school lets out Owen and Drew go to football practice, Bianca stays to watch them. I know Fitz will watch Bianca and Owen, I want to stay and find Fitz but I'm going with Eli and Adam to work on our project at Adam's. We have the script pretty much down we just need to storyboard and rehearse this weekend.

"We can rehearse the kissing scene on our date this weekend," Eli teases as he and Adam storyboard and I make a final edit on the script.

"I'm sure you will be," Adam comments rolling his eyes.

Because we have other homework Eli and I only stay for a couple of hours to work on the storyboard. Then we say goodbye to Adam and Eli takes me home, he parks out front and thankfully Dad isn't home yet.

"So I'll see you at school tomorrow and tomorrow night on our date," I say before getting out the car.

"I'll make it something special, especially since I don't know who my competition is," Eli remarks.

"He doesn't go to our school and it's not like you're in direct competition with him," I reply.

"If you have more than one crush then we are in direct competition and I hate to lose," Eli replies before leaning over clasping my chin and adjoining our lips in a sensuous kiss. The kind of kiss that gives you butterflies in your stomach and when our lips part my lips tingle.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I blush and slowly get out of the car.

I really do like Eli and have strong feelings for him, we have a lot in common and I feel good when I'm with him. Actually after that kiss I feel amazing, almost like I'm walking on air. When I get inside and look in the fridge and there's nothing to eat so when Dad calls to say he won't be home for dinner I order pizza, sit on the sofa and do my homework. I'm still doing homework when Dad comes in, he says hi and asks about my day. We talk for a few minutes and he goes upstairs to shower, I finish my homework downstairs, clean up a little and then go upstairs. I say goodnight to Dad, get ready for bed, brush my teeth and when I return to my room find Fitz in my room leaning on the window that I presume he just crawled through.

"I didn't think I'd see you today. I looked for you b…"

"I know and you led Owen down there," Fitz replies.

"No I didn't lead him he followed me, I didn't know he would follow me Owen's never cared what I do before."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have been asking so many questions about me," Fitz replies. He doesn't entirely sound angry but distant and aloof, somewhat cold and it hurts to hear it in his voice.

"I want to know about you is that so wrong? I looked for your picture in the yearbook but you weren't there."

"I don't want you to see me like that anyway, if you see how I was then you'll really think I'm hideous now," Fitz replies looking down.

"I won't, I promise you I won't," I assert.

"That's not why I came; you can't go searching for me anymore Clare. You could have been hurt; you could have led Owen right to us. I told you my world is secret I have to protect the others we're all hiding for different reasons and I put that all in jeopardy by bringing you there."

"You saved me; I want to be a part of your world Fitz."

"But you aren't and you can't be. Stop thinking about me, stop trying to find me, I will watch you always but you aren't part of my world and you can't be," Fitz says getting on the windowsill to climb down again.

"Fitz wait," I say rushing over and grabbing his arm before he can disappear through the window. "I'm sorry about Owen I'll be more careful. Please don't be mad I just…"

"I'm not mad but I can't let you in and you have to stop looking for my world you can't be a part of it. Have fun on your date tomorrow night," he tells me trying to go out the window but I continue holding his arm.

"Are you jealous of Eli?"

"No you belong with him. I told you I'd watch you from the shadows and protect you like I so with Owen and Bianca but you won't see me."

"Fitz please don't go I'm sorry," I beg trying to pull him back inside. It forces him back against the wall and he whimpers. "You're hurt, what happened? I know what you did for Bianca; you got hurt saving her didn't you? Those boys hurt you," I comment piecing it all together before Fitz says anything.

"I'm fine it's just a bruise but I need to go," he replies.

"Fitz don't I don't want this to be the last time I see you," I plead.

Fitz says nothing but removes my hand from his hoodie; he kisses my palm and then goes out the window, jumping to the ground almost like a cat. He's gone into the shadows so quickly and I no longer see him. I turn around and sink to the floor with tears in my eyes, the thought of not seeing Fitz any longer washes me with a depression. I wish the shadows would swallow me if only to be with Fitz again.

**(FITZ)**

I watch Clare all morning, she goes to the library and looks through a year book but I know she won't find my picture. She's disappointed but I'm glad I don't want her to see me that way. I watch her in class, the crawlspace between the walls of the old school allowing for easy access. And then at lunch she begins asking Owen questions about me and he becomes curious as to why she's asking questions. When she goes outside to eat with Eli and Adam I stop watching her, it's harder to hide outside and especially with so many people around. Owen and Bianca are also eating outside so I go home and eat lunch as well, taking the food to my room and eat on my bed reading one of my favorite books. And then I feel her, she's close I know she is. I don't know how I can feel her but I can and I know she's looking for me.

"Fitz someone's in the belly, I hear voices I think they're looking for the tunnels." Eddie tells me running into my room.

Eddie is one of the many young kids that live down here; almost all of them are runaways or throwaways from abusive homes like I was. Most of the ones down here never saw a foster home and were lucky enough to be found by one of our community and brought here. We can't bring just anyone down here or the community would over grow the capacity of the tunnels. Everyone let in is voted on by a committee of the six that began our underground community, Doc is the head of it. Eddie is only seven, he like me was found by Doc but Eddie was four when he was found, alone in his house having been abandoned by his mother.

"It's okay Eddie stay here I'll go check it out," I say getting up from my bed.

I run through the tunnels to the belly. The belly is what we call the lower basement of the school, the room below the boiler room, so named both because it is truly the underbelly of the school. I go through the secret entrance but remain far back in the shadows, Clare is here but she's not alone. I hear Owen down here in the dark so I stay in the shadows and watch them leave before I return to my room. When I get there Doc is sitting on my bed.

"I told you that girl was dangerous," he says.

"She's curious," I reply in her defense.

"Yes and her curiosity can lead her straight here even if she is trustworthy she could lead others here. I know she wasn't alone in the belly and if you don't make her stop she'll continue. I know how you feel about her Fitz but you know it will never work she should be with someone that can be with her and that's not you. Watch her and protect her if you must, I know you will but stop seeing her, stop showing her your presence. You must push her away for her own good and for our preservation. Whether she means to or not her curiosity could expose us think what that would do to everyone down here, yourself included," Doc advises then pats my arm as he leaves my room.

I sink down on my bed I don't want to push Clare away I want to be with her but Doc is right. I can't place my feelings for Clare above the safety of everyone down here. I spend the rest of the afternoon watching her, she's with Owen and then she has her last class with him, Bianca, Drew, Adam and Eli. It hurts to hear her say yes to Eli's date but as much as it hurts it's what's best. She deserves someone that doesn't hide in the shadows. When she leaves school to go to Adam's I go back to my room. I spend the afternoon thinking about what to say to her and telling myself that pushing her away is what's best. I don't eat dinner but I leave for her house when it's dark. I watch the windows, I know when her dad is in bed and when she's getting ready in the washroom I climb up and go in through her window.

She's surprised to see me and I want to go to her but I have to tell myself I'm angry and I need push her away. I keep well hidden under my hood, totally shrouded in dark so that she can't even see my eyes. I keep my voice cold and keep reminding myself it's all for the best, even if it doesn't feel that way just now. I scold her for leading Owen down near the tunnels, for trying to find a picture of me and asking questions. I tell her it's done and I'm leaving but she rushes over and grabs my arm begging me not to go. I want to embrace her, to be with her this hurts so much but I have to and I tell her to be with Eli. She begs me not to go again pulling me back inside a little and I hit the windowsill wincing in pain as it hits the bruise from last night. I see the sadness in her eyes when she knows I'm hurt. I tell her I'm okay, take her hand from me and leave before she can stop me. Walking home in the dark in pain and upset I feel like I'm losing a part of me.

"You did the right thing Fitz," Doc tells me.

"If I did the right thing then why does it hurt so much?"

"Doing what's right often hurts at first; it was the right thing for the both of you, for everyone. You're worlds apart and those worlds should not collide."

Doc gives me a comforting pat and then leaves my room. I take off my hoodie and lie on my bed, I told Clare to stop thinking about me but I can't stop thinking about her.

**(CLARE)**

After Fitz left I couldn't get to sleep, I felt guilty and sad, a part of me felt empty. I spent a restless night dreaming about Fitz. I wake up with tears on my face and get up to get ready for school with this dark cloud about me. Dad makes a comment about my dark mood before he goes to work and I walk to school hoping to see Fitz in the shadows, to feel him watching me but I don't.

"You look awfully sad Edwards, not regretting saying yes to going out with me tonight are you?" Eli questions approaching me when I begin walking up the steps.

"No," I assure him turning to smile at him, "no not at all I just…" hesitating to finish the sentence because I can't exactly explain about Fitz and I don't really have an excuse for my mood. "I just didn't sleep well and I'm tired," I reply.

"I don't want you to be tired on our date do you want a rain check?" Eli offers.

"No I'll rest on my spare and I can nap when I go home, unless you were thinking of going out right after school?"

"No I'll pick you up at six for dinner, in the meantime I'll walk you to class and carry your books," Eli says taking my backpack from me and I smile.

I spend all day hoping to sense Fitz, to feel the comfort of him watching but I never do. I eat outside with Eli and Adam and go into the school before the bell rings. I'm on my spare now and I go to the storage room planning to lie down on the old sofa in the very back until last period. I set an alarm on my phone to wake me before the bell just in case I do fall asleep. Closing my eyes I see Fitz in the darkness of my mind, even in my thoughts he's shrouded by his hood. Just as I begin to fall asleep I hear noises, several boys come traipsing in, laughing and talking loud, a few of them holding beers, at least one seems to be high. I sit up and grab my phone from the table and they all look at me, several of them grinning lecherous and malicious grins. They suddenly look less like a group of boys and more like a hungry pack of wolves that's come across a wounded deer.

"Well now what have we here? Want to party with us?" One of them asks. My attention isn't on him however it's on Steven, Fitz's stepbrother Steven and he sees me looking at him.

"I think she likes me, she keeps staring at me. Like what you see Babe? Want a beer?" Steven asks sitting next to me and putting his arm around my shoulders.

"No I don't and I need to go," I reply.

"Oh come on stay and party," Steven says pulling me down to sit with him.

"Not with you," I comment trying to get away but Steve holds my arm while the others laugh. "Let go of me," I demand smacking him across the face, it makes quite the echoing sound in the room but barely fazes Steven. He just sort of grins and leans forward like he's going to kiss me. "Get away from me you pervert," I hiss punching him in the throat. Now he's concentrating on breathing and lets me go.

I start to run but his friends grab me and just as they do the door bursts open only it's not Fitz that's come to my rescue but rather Owen. He also has a spare this period but how he found me here I have no idea.

"Let her go right now," Owen growls at them.

"She ain't your type Milligan she doesn't like to party," one of them replies.

"I said let her go," Owen repeats taking a few steps forward. There's four of them all a year older than Owen, a couple of them are taller but none of them are as intimidating. Still they seem to think they can take him, two are holding me, Steven is still wheezing on the sofa and the other one advances on Owen but he doesn't get within a foot of him before Owen punches him. An incredibly hard punch that sends the guy back into a shelf and Owen turns to the two holding me. "For the last fucking time," he snarls taking a step forward with each word and then picking up the free hand of one of the boys holding me, "let her go." With Owen's demand to release me he begins to crush the boys hand and the boy releases me. Just watching this action the other boy releases me too and then Owen takes my hand walking us out of the room and down the hall. We turn the corner going into the memorial garden and he looks me over, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm okay," I nod but very grateful he came when he did.

"I assume Steven struggling to breathe was your doing?" Owen asks and I nod. "Good he's an ass but it's probably still good I found you," Owen comments.

"I'm grateful that you did I have no idea what their plans were but it wasn't good. How exactly did you find me?"

"It was weird actually I was in the resource center and I heard this knocking sort of sound in the walls. It led me right to the storage room and I heard your voice along with those idiots laughing. You must have a loud guardian angel or something," Owen remarks.

"Yeah," I nod knowing it had to be Fitz, "or something."

"After the last couple of days I think it's better if we spend our spare together. I don't want to find you wandering dark rooms alone or about to be raped by Steven and his vile friends. Come on I left my stuff in the resource center and you're coming with me," Owen insists.

Normally it would bother me to be ordered around and I'd argue that I don't need a babysitter. After what just happened however I think I'll stick with Owen, at least for today. We spend the rest of our spare in the resource center and when the bell rings we both walk to media studies. Owen doesn't tell them about Steven and the others but Eli does mention our date a few times sort of teasing hints about what we might be doing. When school lets out Drew and Owen have football practice, Adam is sticking around to ride home with Drew and Eli drops me at home. He reminds me he'll pick me up at six for our date as I get out of the car. I wave to him, unlock my door and go up to my room, when I open the door I hope to find Fitz in the room but I know he isn't. I lie down for a couple of hours and then get ready for my date. Dad is home I hear him in the shower probably getting ready for a date as well.

"Have fun tonight," Dad tells me before leaving. He's wearing the expensive after shave which means he likes this girl. Just after Dad leaves my doorbell rings and I grab my purse going to the front door.

"You look great," Eli grins taking my hand.

"Thanks you look nice too," I smile stepping out and then I lock the door.

Eli's really just wearing a dressier version of the black clothes he wears to school. He escorts me to his antique hearse, opens my door and I get in.

"Dinner first, do you like Indian?"

"Yeah I love it," I reply.

"Good I know a great place, it's sort of a dive but they have amazing food."

Dinner is really good and our conversation over dinner is even better, we share a lot of interests. There is definitely something between us and he is good looking, I enjoy my time with Eli, relaxed dinner conversation about obscure movies I thought no one else had seen but we both love. After dinner Eli takes me to a restaurant where they have live music and we order dessert. We eat and listen to the music, it's not really my style of music but the band is pretty good. After paying for dessert we get up and dance, there's a fairly small dance floor and it's pretty close quarters, we're also dancing to a fast song so I'm not too surprised when I get bumped into. The guy that bumps into me doesn't even look back let alone apologize but I just ignore it, Eli on the other hand does not. In the blink of an eye he goes from happy and dancing to seething and scary. He pulls me behind him and punches the guy; the surprise punch causes the guy to stumble back.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FUCKING GOING AND NEXT TIME APOLOGIZE," Eli yells before taking my hand and dragging me out. He starts walking down the street and he's still yelling. "IDIOT! WHY DON'T PEOPLE WATCH WHERE THEY'RE GOING?"

"Eli," I say his name and grab his arm, "Eli it's not a big deal I'm okay."

"HE SHOULD HAVE PAID ATTENTION TO WHAT HE WAS DOING," Eli hollers.

"Eli if you can't let it go then I'm going home," I tell him.

I turn around to start walking to the bust stop but Eli grabs my hand whirls me around so that my back is against the wall. The charming, attractive, sweet, intellectual boy I was enjoying a date with a short time ago is gone and a monster has me pinned to the wall.

"No you're not leaving me."

**Update will be Wednesday June 3****rd**** in short story month and picking up from right here.**


	4. You Try to Picture the Perfect Life

**Welcome to short story month! Twenty-five straight days of short stories, revolving in order! Check the DeGrassi Saviors website and my page for the calendar.**

**Winners for last week's poll are up on the DeGrassi Saviors website and new character polls are up. This week it's Drew, Dave &amp; Spinner. Be sure and get your votes in the poll will stay up for one week.**

**Also the home page on the website has been changed so check that out. **

**Ch. 4 You Try to Picture the Perfect Life**

**(CLARE)**

"No you're not leaving me," Eli growls but it's low and threatening. There's an emptiness in his eyes, a darkness there and I'm afraid he's going to hurt me.

"Eli stop this you're scaring me," I assert in a firm voice but gently place my hand on his face hoping to calm him down and it works. Eli lets out a breath, his posture relaxes and he lets me go.

"I'm sorry Clare; I didn't mean to scare you. Come on I'll take you home," he says taking my hand and pulling me to the car.

"Eli why'd you do that, behave like that? Snapping at everyone and getting so angry when I tried to leave?" I question when we're in the car. Eli has the steering wheel in his hands but releases it with a heavy sigh. He looks at his hands and then looks at me.

"I haven't been out with anyone in a long time, not since my last girlfriend died. We had an argument and she ran out, got hit by a car and when you said you were going to leave and turned to walk away that's what I saw. Julia getting hit by the car and I was afraid you'd get hit by a car. That probably sounds stupid and you must think I'm a horrible person, exploding the way I did," Eli says with an apologetic tone.

"No I don't think you're a horrible person I think you went through something tragic. I can understand how my trying to leave triggered that memory for you," I give him a gentle smile and put my hand on his arm. It doesn't exactly explain why he yelled and punched the guy that bumped into me. Never the less it was a big thing to share with me and he didn't have to. Eli smiles a little and starts the car, we drive to my house in silence and I'm surprised to see my dad's car when Eli parks out front.

"Sorry I ruined the date," Eli apologizes.

"You didn't, I had a very nice time for most of the evening. I guess I'll see you Monday?"

"Maybe we can try again? Something easy like lunch on Sunday? We can meet at The Dot," Eli proposes.

"Lunch would be nice, I'll see you at The Dot on Sunday let's say one o'clock?"

"Great, it's a date," Eli grins.

I smile and lean over giving him a chaste kiss then grab my purse and get out of the car. I walk to my front door and unlock it, the house is dark but Dad's car is here so I'm sure he's home. I relock the front door and go up the stairs to go to my room. Before I get into my room the door to my dad's room opens. I'm used to my dad bringing home women but the girl that comes out his room, dressed merely in one of my father's dress shirts, can hardly be called a woman. She can't be more than twenty, only a few years older than me and she's in my home sleeping with my forty year old father. I suppose Dad could be going through a midlife crisis but if he's going to do that can't he do it away from the house.

"You must be Clare, I'm Candy," she says extending her hand to me.

"_Great my father is sleeping with a girl that can't be more than five years older than me and she has the name of a stripper! Definitely a midlife crisis," _I think to myself but shake her hand to be polite as my father comes out of his room.

"I thought you had a date tonight," Dad comments.

"I don't sleep over at my dates houses. The only boys house I've ever slept at is Adam's," I remind him.

"Well I didn't think you'd be home, not this early anyway stay in your room we're not done yet," Dad tells me.

"I think I'll just go to Adam's," I reply having no desire to be around this woman let alone hear her and my father screwing.

"Good idea, you should probably stay the weekend. I invited Candy to stay the weekend," Dad informs me.

"Yeah and we won't be leaving the bed much," Candy giggles turning to my father and putting her hand at the side of his neck smashes their lips together.

"_Oh gross," _I gag silently and then notice something on her hand. I step over to look at it just as they pull out of the kiss.

"Have a nice weekend Clare, take some money if you need it," Dad tells me before walking back to his room.

"What are you doing with my mother's ring?" I exclaim grabbing Candy's hand.

"You're daddy gave it to me," she says pulling his hand back, "I can get anything I want from your daddy."

"You can fuck him all you want you can't have my mother's ring," I spit back at her grabbing her hand again and trying to pull the ring off. Candy slaps me across the face with her other hand and while I'm shocked from the slap she takes her hand back.

"Candy are you coming back?" Dad calls.

"Just a second," Candy coos back.

"Dad she hit me," I call into his room.

"She's making up stories, she's just jealous that I'm taking her daddy," Candy says into the room and then looks at me but keeps her voice loud enough for Dad to hear. "Don't worry Clarebear I won't take all your daddy's time, now you go run along and have fun at your little friend's house," Candy says with a smile and then looks at me with a more vicious look and lowers her voice. "I have him wrapped around my little finger, get in my way again and I'll make sure he sends you to boarding school."

With that she turns and goes back into my father's room, she closes the door and a tear runs down my face. I'm angry and hurt, I want to scream but instead I run, out the door and down the street. I start running to Adam's and then stop leaning on the wall of the closed drug store across the street from The Dot. That girl invaded my home and took my mother's ring and my father is blind to it because he's lost his mind or rather he's just thinking with the head between his legs. I don't really want to go to Adam's, I want to be with Fitz but he told me stay away. Right now I don't care I know I can get there through the park, the entrance Fitz brought me out of that very first day. I turn and start running for the park; I get there and start running through it.

"Clare."

I ignore the person calling my name and keep running; only he happens to be a star athlete and easily catches up to me grabbing me by the waist. Owen stops me from running but I can see the entrance to the storm drain, shrouded in dark and something moving in the shadow, I know it's Fitz in the shadow but I can't run to him now.

"Clare where are you going?" Owen questions.

"I was…just running, my dad brought a girl home and I do mean a girl she was maybe twenty. And get this her name is Candy! She was wearing my mother's ring and threatened me not to get in the way of what she wants. She even hit me and then told my dad I made it up and he didn't seem to care just wanted me gone so he could screw her," I blurt it all out to Owen but he's here and I couldn't exactly explain running to the storm drain. "What are you doing at the park so late anyway?" I question.

"General juvenile delinquency, come on I'll take you to Adam's," Owen says releasing my waist but taking my hand. "I'll see you guys I'm going to drop her at the Torres house," Owen tells the group he was with. I recognize all of them from DeGrassi all though I know very few by name. They're all on a sports team, some from the football team, others from the wrestling team and a few from the lacrosse team. They all wave or say goodbye to Owen and we go over to his car. "I know Bianca's staying there too but you guys have both spent the night there before," Owen comments as we begin driving and I nod. He parks at the Torres house and gets out with me as we both walk to the basement entrance.

"Hey guys," Drew remarks when he sees us come in, his eyebrow arched I suppose because he's wondering why Owen and I came together.

"Found her walking here," Owen tells them and I give him a smile for not telling them I was running through the park.

"You staying over?" Adam questions.

"If that's okay?"

"Of course it is," Adam smiles.

"You want the bed?" Bianca asks.

"No the sofa is fine," I reply sitting on the sofa.

"I'll see you guys, I should be getting home," Owen waves.

"Thanks Owen," I smile and he waves leaving through the basement.

"So who hit you?" Bianca questions when Owen is gone and the Torres brothers look at me.

"How'd you know?"

"One side of your face is three shades redder than the other," Bianca says. I tell them all about Candy. "What a bitch," Bianca exclaims when I'm done.

"I'm sure your dad will come around he's just horny," Drew assures me.

"Yeah," I nod but I'm not so sure.

They're watching a movie and I finish watching it with them. When it's over Adam turns off the TV and looks at me.

"So how was your date?"

"It was great, at first."

"Uh oh that doesn't sound good," Adam comments.

"We went to a great little Indian place, had a nice dinner with nice conversation. Eli and I share a lot in common and we talked about our favorite movies, we share a lot of the same ones. After dinner we went to another restaurant where they had live music and we had dessert. We ate dessert enjoying each other's company and then we got up to dance. The dance floor was fairly small and lots of people were dancing, still everything was okay until a man bumped into me, he didn't say he was sorry, he didn't say anything and I chose to ignore it but Eli went nuts. He yelled at the guy and punched him then dragged me out of there. He was still yelling and he was scaring me, I told him if he couldn't calm down then I was leaving. He stopped yelling but he grabbed me and pushed me to the wall. He told me I couldn't leave him."

"What a freak," Bianca chimes in before I can go any farther.

"I told him he was scaring me, touched his face and he calmed down. He apologized and we got in the car so he could take me home. I asked him why he reacted the way he did and he gave me a reason for not wanting me to leave."

"Which was what?" Adam asks.

"Something personal for him I don't think I can share but I did understand. Still as much as I like him there's something truly frightening about him. He was sorry though and I promised to give him another chance, we have a lunch date at The Dot on Sunday," I tell them.

"Put on another movie I'm not tired yet," Bianca says and Drew puts on another movie.

I sit back watching the movie but my mind is filled with thoughts and I can't really concentrate.

**(FITZ)**

"Aren't you usually out watching your friends?" Doc asks after dinner.

"Bianca's sleeping at Drew's and Owen is out with some of his football friends, they went out after practice," I reply.

"And Clare? I know you haven't given up watching her," Doc says.

"On a date, with Eli," I sigh.

Doc stands putting his hand on my shoulder in a comforting way, "It's for the best Fitz. Let her move on; she needs to be with a boy in her world, one that she can really be with."

"Yeah I know I know that's what she deserves but I wish it didn't hurt like this. I'm going to my room," I tell him getting up.

"There's a concert tonight you want to come?" Mary asks when I pass her and a group of others on the way to my room. Mary is even older than Doc, she's been down here for nearly twenty years, she's one of the originals. Her husband died and a few months later her daughter became ill. By the time her daughter died she had nothing left, she couldn't pay the hospital bills and the bank took her house. Doc said she was very sad when she first began living down here but you'd never know it now she's always smiling.

"Not tonight, you all have fun enjoy the concert," I tell them smiling as much as I can.

They'll walk through the tunnels to Massey hall, it's very old and there's an old crawlspace where we often go and listen to concerts. You can hear the music like you were on stage and no one ever knows you're there.

"Fitz can we read more of The Count of Monte Cristo?" Michael asks coming out of his room. Michael is about twelve, no one is sure of his exact age because he was abandoned as a baby and he's lived here as his life. He's a sweet kid and he likes when I read to him but I'm not in the mood tonight.

"Not tonight."

"Please we left off at a really great part, just a little I want to know what happens," he begs.

"Alright come on, just for a bit," I give in hoping it will distract me.

Michael runs ahead to my room, he sits on my bed and I get down the book. I start reading to him and he listens intently, I read one chapter and he urges me to go on so I begin reading again but then I stop. Clare is afraid I can feel her fear and I sit up setting the book down.

"Fitz are you okay?" Michael asks just as Clare's fear begins to subside.

"Yes but that's enough for tonight we'll continue another time," I tell him and he nods leaving my room.

I lie back on my bed, Clare's fear is gone and I can't feel her anymore. What worries me though is not just that she was afraid but that her fear seemed to come from Eli. I stay in my room a while but then Clare is angry and after that she's sad, very sad. I know I'm supposed to stay away but I feel that she needs me; I even know where she's going I can sense it. I don't know how I know or how I can feel her but I can, we're connected somehow and however we're connected I'm grateful for it.

I run to the old storm drain in the park, the one where I brought her out a few nights ago, the night we met. I see her running for me and then I see Owen, he must have been in the park and seen her running. He catches her easily and she stops, I watch them a moment, she looks at me, well she looks into the shadows where I'm standing. Owen has her so she's in good hands now and I know he'll make sure she's safe. I still follow them, he takes her to the Torres house and I watch from the darkness for a short while before I go home.

It takes me a while to fall asleep but when I do I have a dream about me and Clare. We're together and I wasn't burned or scarred, I go to school with her and my friends. I can hold her and even kiss her, hang out with my friends, take Clare on a date and be a normal kid. The dream starts out wonderful but then it becomes a nightmare, just as Clare and I are really happy my scars return and the burns, Clare screams and runs to Eli and I run to the shadows.

I wake up breathing hard and sweating, telling myself it was only a dream but I know Clare and I can never be. I can't be a part of that world again, she will never be with me, my friends, the world above won't accept me and neither will my friends. I can't sleep anymore so I get up, night is when the city becomes mine, there are so many shadows at night it's easier to hide. No one really looks at you at night, especially if you look threatening and with my hood up I always look threatening. I walk through the city, lie in the park looking at the stars, feel the wind on my face and just before dawn I go to the Torres house. The curtains are closed and I can't see Clare but it doesn't matter. When the sun moves I go into the shadows, there's a tree in the yard, a big one with lots of leaves and it's easy for me to climb and hide.

I spend most of the day watching the Torres house, once they open the curtain I can see right into the Torres basement. They watch TV for most of the morning and when Owen comes by around noon they play video games. I watch into the evening but Clare is sleeping there again and I need to eat and to sleep so when it's safe I climb down and head home. I'm starving and eat a lot before crashing in my bed and sleeping all through the night, in a deep and happy sleep. Waking up late Sunday morning, starving again so I go to the kitchen for breakfast, it's not a real kitchen of course we don't have gas hook ups or anything down here. We cook the old fashioned way with fire and pots. We have some great cooks though.

After eating I go to the Torres house to see Clare but she's just leaving. She walks to The Dot and I follow her through the alley ways and backroads. Watching her from the woods that border the ravine I see her go into the café and kiss Eli. He grins and pulls out her chair and they sit down, it's obviously a date and I while I worry about him hurting her I doubt he'd so anything in a café full of people. I would stay and watch but watching her with him is painful. The way she looks at him, the way she smiles when he talks, brushes her curls back and bites her lip. I can't bear to watch so I go through the ravine and back home. Friday night she was afraid but this time I don't feel any fear from her. I do feel something though, trepidation I think, she's not afraid but something about Eli still worries her.

After dinner I go out to find her, when I don't find her at home I go to the Torres house knowing I'll find her there. She must be sleeping over again, Bianca also seems to be and they're all watching movies or TV again. I stay in the shadows until after I'm sure everyone is in bed. Then I tap very softly on the sliding glass door, a few times until I hear movement and then I hide in case Bianca comes to the door. When the curtain is pulled back and I see Clare I step into the light so she can see me. She smiles and holds her finger up to tell me one moment. I step back into the shadows and wait a few moments; it's not the basement door that opens but the one at the top of the cement stairs.

"Fitz?" She calls in a whisper as she runs down the stairs in a coat, pajama bottoms and no shoes.

"I'm here," I say from the shadows and she runs to me embracing me tightly.

"You are here, I thought I might be dreaming," she says against my chest. Her arms feel so good around me and my eyes close enjoying the feel of her arms around me. I embrace her back, I know I shouldn't because I won't want to let her go but I embrace her back. "I knew you didn't mean it when you said I wouldn't see you anymore. I knew you'd be back, I knew you still cared."

"I never said I didn't care but it's best if our worlds stay apart. I told you I'd be watching but you can't come looking for me, I'll always watch you and keep from danger and that's why I'm here. Friday night, you were afraid, I felt it you were scared of Eli," I tell her pulling her away from me a little but I don't release her from my embrace yet.

"He…overreacted a little that's all. He calmed down after a few minutes and he felt really bad for scaring me," she tells me.

"Why were angry? And sad you became very sad later that night," I comment.

"My father brought home a new girl, I do mean a girl. She couldn't have been more than twenty and her name was Candy. If all that wasn't bad enough she was wearing my mother's ring. I tried to take it back and she slapped me. She told me she get whatever she wanted from him and told me she'd have me sent to boarding school. I hate her, I want her gone. I know my father brings home women before and no relationship has ever lasted more than a few months. No other woman has ever been threatening before or taken things from my father before either. I spent all weekend here just avoid them."

"I'm sorry Clare, your father cares about you and he loves you. I'm sure he'll see that this woman is no good for him. Stay at Adam's as long as you can at least I know you're safe here," I tell her.

"Fitz please you aren't going to stay away just watching me from the shadows," she begs.

"I have to."

"Says who?

"I risked too much bringing you to my home, besides you don't belong there. This is your world, you shine in the light you weren't meant to hide in the shadows," I tell her and then hear the sliding glass door open.

"Clare?" Bianca calls.

"Just getting some air," Clare calls back stepping away from me and turning into the light so Bianca can see her.

"When you need me I'll be there," I tell Clare. I step back and turn, running through the yard and hoping over the neighbor's fence.

"Wait," Clare whispers turning into the darkness again but I'm already gone.

I watch through the neighbor's fence as Clare walks back inside with Bianca. I don't go home however; I go to Clare's and find her father's room. I've learned to move very quietly and can see quite well in the dark. I open his bedroom door quietly and see the shape of a woman in his bed. I also see one ring on her finger and nothing on either nightstand. It's not a very expensive ring, there's no jewel in it, it seems to be a band of silver with a design on it. That must be the ring Clare spoke of, moving carefully in the room I go to the side this Candy is sleeping on. Although Clare's father is snoring pretty loud and seems to be covering the sounds of my movements anyway, he sleeps with an arm around Candy and she appears to have earplugs in. I kneel down and gently put my fingers under Candy's, gently pinching the ring between my thumb and index finger I glide the ring off. Very very carefully so that I don't wake her, she stirs a couple of time but never wakes up and I get the ring.

Disappearing as quickly as I came I quietly leave the room and then the house. I go home and to my room but only for a moment, I have an old necklace on my wall. I found it a few months ago and repaired it, I've never worn it not even sure why I kept it but I'm glad I did. I put the ring on it and go through the boiler room to the school. I find Clare's locker and after watching her so much I know her locker combo and I open her locker. I hang the chain with the ring on it inside her locker and close it again, turning the lock. Clare will find it in the morning and just thinking about the smile she'll have on her face makes me happy.

**Update on Monday with Clare getting to school and Clare's life is upset by a rash decision.**


	5. It's Not so Black & White

**Winners for last week's poll are up on the DeGrassi Saviors website and new character polls are up. This week it's Bianca, Eli &amp; Fiona. Be sure and get your votes in the poll will stay up for one week. Next week will be the last of the character votes and then we'll move onto couples.**

**If you're wondering where all the long stories are then you haven't been checking the calendars on the DeGrassi Saviors website. Also the home page on the website has been changed so check that out.**

***Spinner &amp; Peter both still work at The Dot, so does Holly J**

**This whole chapter ended up being in Clare's pov.**

**Ch. 5 It's Not so Black &amp; White**

**(CLARE)**

"You look a little tired Clare did you not sleep well?" Audra questions when I sit down to breakfast Monday morning.

"No she had a bad dream and went out to the backyard to get some air sometime after midnight," Bianca says.

"I slept fine after that," I tell them which is true but there had been no nightmare. Even though I had come in and slept just fine after that but only because I had been with Fitz.

I start eating and no one says anything else about it, once we're all ready for school Drew drives us. We get out and walk inside, Steve and his buddies that tried to attack me in the storage room, are leering at me. They look downright angry, much like a starving vicious pack of jackals that's seen a wounded baby antelope and are planning an attack. The way they're looking at me has me nervous and I grab Drew's arm instinctually trying to hide. Drew's other arm is around Bianca but when I grab him it jerks him slightly and they both look back at me. This action also causes Adam to look over to me and now everyone is staring at me.

"Errmm sorry I uhh tripped," I say uncomfortably rather than telling them I was trying to hide from a pack of senior boys. Especially since none of them seem to notice the boys staring at us.

My cheeks are flushed red and I look away from everyone, running inside with my head down. Adam follows me of course and Drew and Bianca come into the school but also decide to follow us to our lockers. They aren't asking me any questions, they aren't even looking at me in fact they're making out on the locker next to mine. When I open my locker I see my mother's ring hanging on a chain. I'm elated to see it and I know only Fitz could have put it there. I smile and take it down unclasping the chain to put it on.

"What's that?" Adam inquires closing my locker door a little to look at it.

"My mother's ring," I smile closing the clasp around my neck and turning it so the ring is in front. It's perfect the ring sits just an inch below my clavicle.

"The one that Candy girl had on? How'd it get on a chain in your locker?" Adam questions which breaks Drew and Bianca from their kissing, of course it might have been Owen approaching that did that too.

"It umm…I…uhh…" I stumble over a reason that the ring is magically in my locker without telling them Fitz put it there.

"Must have been her guardian angel," Owen speaks up.

"Yeah my guardian angel," I nod. It was in fact my guardian angel they just don't know that he's not an angel but a boy named Fitz.

"You're guardian angel got your mother's ring back and left it in your locker?" Adam questions pinching his eyebrows together.

"It led me to her in the storage room on Friday when Steve and a few of his cronies had her captive," Owen enlightens them.

"Excuse me!" Adam exclaims.

"Steve who?" Bianca inquires.

"Bowes," Owen says.

"How in the hell did that creep get you captive in the storage room?" Drew asks.

"I wasn't exactly captive," I dispute.

"She hurt Steve on her own but when I got in there Clark and Jarod were holding her by the arms and Kyle was watching. I made them release her and told her we'd be spending our spare together from now on but it's lucky I found her when I did," Owen says.

"Sounds to me like you're her guardian angel," Bianca comments.

"I didn't know she was in trouble until I got there, I heard tapping in the walls it moved farther away and I followed it to the storage room where I heard Clare's panicked voice and the guys laughing," Owen informs them.

"Tapping? In the walls?" Drew asks slowly, "Maybe your guardian angel is a rat."

"Maybe," I reply. It's as good of an explanation as any other I can come up with.

"Well it's a good thing Owen got to you Steve is the lowest of the low life's best to stay away from him," Bianca tells me.

"Hey Edwards," Eli smirks coming up to us and then looks at the ring around my neck. He picks the ring up with two of his fingers and examines it. "You get engaged or something last night?"

"It's my mother's ring I got it back this morning," I clarify and Eli lets go of the ring.

"Well that's good, I had fun yesterday you want to eat lunch with me at The Dot again today?" Eli offers.

"Sure that would be nice," I smile.

"Good come on we should get to class," Eli says putting his arm around my waist. He puts his other arm around Adam's shoulders and the three of us walk to class.

We're the first ones in class, we sit at our desks and Adam and Eli begin talking about comics. I have no interest in comics but I also can feel Fitz watching, not sure where he is or how he watches me from inside the school without being seen, but I feel him watching. It makes me smile and I start dragging the ring on the chain absentmindedly.

"Our project is due Friday we should film one of these afternoons," Eli remarks breaking me from my thoughts.

"We can use my backyard to film; we can check a camera out some time this week. We should probably get our names on the list there's only so many cameras," Adam remarks.

Miss Dawes must have heard us because she makes an announcement about getting our names on the equipment rental list before we leave class today. Class goes by quickly since we're all writing independently and when the bell rings we leave class together.

"See you at lunch Edwards," Eli says kissing my hand before he goes to auto shop. "See you in third period drama Adam," Eli waves and walks down the hall.

Adam and I walk to chemistry, Alli and Hannah are already in the class and remark about my ring. I tell them it was my mom's but not how I got it. Mr. Bettankamp is a good teacher and his classes always go by pretty fast but I'm still happy when the bell rings for lunch. I walk to my locker to put away my backpack and Eli finds me there. He takes my hand and we walk over to The Dot.

"So are things better with your dad?" Eli questions after we've ordered and sat down.

"I don't know I haven't been home yet, he hasn't called or anything either but I suppose he knows I'm at Adam's," I reply ruefully.

Eli drops the subject and we talk about school, the approaching fall dance and Halloween instead. I have a nice time with Eli, he doesn't scare me once and there is a definite attraction to him both physically and intellectually. We share a love of writing, reading and foreign art movies. None the less I have this connection with Fitz and however much I'm attracted to Eli I can't get Fitz from my mind. Then again despite my connection with Fitz and my fascination with him I don't really know if I'm attracted to him. Wanting to be with him and feeling safe with him is not the same as attraction and given that the first time we met he saved me from rape and more, and he's continued save me this makes sense. I haven't spent much time with him either, not for lack of trying but his world is a secret and he was cast out of mine. So while the small amount of time I have spent with him gave me a desire to know more I can't really say I'm attracted to him, fascinated yes and connected for sure but I'd need to be with him more to determine if there was truly an attraction there. And even if I am the fact that we essentially live in two different worlds presents it's own set of problems.

After lunch Eli and I walk slowly back to school and then sit out on the bench when we get there. We don't say anything just sit there watching people and holding hands. When the bell rings Eli walks me inside to my locker.

"See you next period," Eli says and leans in gently putting his lips on mine; I return the kiss and feel butterflies in my stomach as we kiss.

"Come on you're sticking with me this period," Owen insists coming over just as Eli as leaving.

Eli looks back at me cocking an eyebrow, I suppose wondering why I'm spending my spare with Owen but Eli doesn't say anything. I get my backpack from my locker and we spend our spare in the memorial garden both of us doing homework. When the bell rings we both walk to media studies and sit at our tables.

"Are you sleeping over again?" Adam asks when he and Eli come in.

"No I should probably go home hopefully Dad has gotten it out of his system now," I reply.

"Yeah hopefully," Adam smiles.

"I can drive you home after school," Eli suggests.

"Thanks Eli," I grin and kiss his cheek.

We watch a movie in media studies and then each table is given an assignment to do. When the bell rings and school is out we all walk out together. Eli and I wave to Adam and I go with Eli to his car, still not very fond of this hearse but I appreciate the ride. Eli drops me at home and I give him a quick kiss before getting out of the car. I go in set down my backpack and make sure Eli is gone then I leave again, walking across to the park. Owen isn't here today and I get all the way to the storm drain, but I do make sure no one is watching before I go in.

It's not until I'm inside and walking through the old storm drain I realize I don't know where I'm going and I'm hoping it's just a straight tunnel. I should have been paying more attention when he was leading me out and brought a flashlight since I'm only using my phone for light, although a little light filters in from grates here and there. I'm also hoping that Fitz just knows I'm here as he usually does. I walk until there's a fork in the road and then I stop. I stand there a few moments wondering which way to go, if I go the wrong way I could get horribly lost. I sigh and turn around about to walk back out when I hear footsteps, I see a shadow approaching and I know already it's Fitz. I smile and run to him but he stops before I can embrace him, holding my arms and keeping him from me at arm's length.

"You shouldn't be here Clare," he tells me in a scolding tone.

"I know, I'm sorry but I had to see you, to thank you for retrieving my mother's ring for me. I know it couldn't have been easy and I appreciate it, I thought it was lost to me."

"I knew how much it meant to you," he says releasing my arms.

It's totally dark now since my phone went to sleep and yet somehow I know just where his lips are, I even know that his hood is down. I put my hands on his shoulders, stand on my tiptoes and ensnare his lips with mine. The second my lips are on his I inhale a blissful breath almost as if breathing for the first time. Those butterflies I felt in my stomach when I kissed Eli are ten times stronger when my lips touch to Fitz's. There's a spark between us, one I can't deny, something beyond friendship and fascination.

Fitz responds to the kiss after a few seconds, his lips part just slightly and he begins kissing me back. His hand going to my lower back and he steps closer to me, I break the kiss with a smile on my lips and this time Fitz lets out a breath.

"Thank you for getting my ring back."

"You're welcome but you can't come looking for me like this."

"I know I'm not supposed to come looking for you at all, or see you at all for that matter," I huff taking my hand from his shoulder and stepping back a little.

"You belong with Eli," Fitz tells me.

"What do you mean I belong with Eli? I've been on two dates with the boy and going on a couple of dates has nothing to do with me being able to see you, spend time with you at all," I argue.

"Yes it does Clare you're supposed to forget about me."

"Well I can't do that, I don't want to do that and you can't ask that of me."

"Clare…" Fitz begins but I cut him off.

"No! I won't forget about you, I won't stop trying to look for you. I respect the privacy of your world and the people you live with but you can't tell me you'll be watching me still and expect me to just stop. I can sense you, I know when you're around and you want me to just pretend like you don't exist? Like we never met? Like we don't share this connection? I refuse to do it. I won't ask questions about you, I won't come looking for you and risk exposing your community but then you have to come to me. Please Fitz I don't know what it is we have but I refuse to lose it and not see you."

"At night but I'll find you and only if I can see you without others seeing me. What about you and Eli?"

"There is no me and Eli, not yet anyway and there may never be. I don't know what will happen with me and Eli I just know that I don't want to lose you."

"You won't but you should be with Eli, he likes you and I know you like him and he doesn't have to hide," Fitz asserts. I could argue that Fitz doesn't have to hide either and he could come back to the world but we've already discussed it. "Come I'll walk you out," Fitz says taking my hand and he leads me out before we come to the light at all he puts his hood back up. We don't even get out the light when he stops. "You can make it from here, I'll find you tomorrow night if it's safe."

I smile and he lets go of my hand. I leave him somewhat reluctantly; something deep inside tells me to turn and go back with him and not go home. I ignore it however and walk across the park to my home. I unlock the front door, grab a snack and go up to my room. I did most of my homework at school but I have a little left and I get started on it. After I finish my homework I turn on music and check e-mails and some other stuff on my laptop, until I hear the front door open and I know my dad is home. I go downstairs and see my dad in the kitchen only he's not alone, Candy is with him and I have the sudden sensation of wanting to vomit.

"Clare you're home, good we have something to tell you," Dad says.

"Don't tell me you two are dating."

"No Clarebear not dating we got married yesterday," Candy informs showing me her wedding ring.

"YOU DID WHAT?! Dad have you lost your mind you've known this child for five minutes!"

"Watch how you speak to me, and isn't that mine, how did you get that?" Candy asks reaching for my mother's ring and I grab her wrist.

"It was my mother's ring and don't you ever touch it again you stupid bitch!"

"Randy are you going to let her speak to me that way?"

"Go upstairs will you Babe and give us a minute?" Dad says to her and then they kiss and I nearly vomit. Candy gives me a haughty smirk before going upstairs.

"Tell me she's joking," I demand.

"I love her Clare, she makes me happy and I think I deserve to be happy. If you give her a chance I think the two of you could be good friends. I'm happy for the first time in a very long time and you're almost grown you don't need me anymore," Dad argues.

"I'm fifteen Dad it doesn't mean I don't need you anymore and it doesn't give you the right to go off and marry a girl only a few years older than me that you've known five minutes!"

"Clare I'm not going to argue about this, I'm happy and you should be happy for me. Your mother is never coming back and I'm in love wi…" my dad is contending but I've heard enough and I interrupt.

"You can't possibly be in love with Candy you don't even know her! You're going through a midlife crisis a…"

"STOP RIGHT NOW," he yells very loud and he's never yelled at me, not once. It's startling and I step back, my heart pounding. "I'm in love, I'm happy and I want you to be a part of this happy family but maybe the best thing is for you to stay with Adam for a while. I think the best thing is for us to have some time apart and you can come back when you realize that Candy is now a part of this family," Dad tells me and then he walks past me upstairs.

I'm astonished and hurt, I begin to cry hot angry tears and I run upstairs grabbing my homework and backpack, a few pieces of clothing, stuffing them all in. Then I run out of the house and down the street crying so hard I can barely see where I'm going. I know I'm near The Dot because I can see the lights and before I reach it I'm pulled into the alley behind it. Far back into the darkness and into Fitz's arms, my head against his chest I sob against it clinging to his hoodie and he tightens his arms around me. I feel safe now, cared for, like a blanket of serenity and solace has been wrapped around me with his arms.

"What is it? What's happened?" Fitz asks.

"My father married that girl yesterday; he claims to be in love with her. He kicked me out until I could accept it but I never will."

"I'm sorry Clare," Fitz says stroking some hair from my face.

"I lost my father to some slut, he chose her over me, we've never been terribly close but at least I had him."

"You'll always have me and your friends. You should call Adam have them come and get you. Wait in The Dot where it's safe," Fitz tells me.

I take a few deep breaths and stop the stream of tears, Fitz holds me until I'm ready to step away. He watches me from the dark until I go around the corner and into the café. I sit at the table near the window and get out my phone clicking on Adam's name.

"Hey Clare."

"Can Drew or your parents come get me?" I question and now that Fitz is not holding me I'm once again on the brink of tears.

"We'll leave right now where are you?" Adam asks.

"The Dot."

"We'll be there in five," Adam tells me and hangs up.

"Here you look like you need this," Spinner says bringing me over a hot chocolate.

I manage a small thanks and sip at the hot chocolate, when Drew and Adam pull up Spinner puts the hot chocolate into a to-go cup. He hands it to me with a sympathetic look and I go out to Drew's car getting in the backseat.

"I take it Candy was at your house?" Drew inquires as he begins driving again.

"Yes she's my new stepmother," I respond bitterly.

"WHAT?!" Drew and Adam exclaim together and Drew nearly crashes.

"He married her yesterday apparently, never even said anything to me, he wants us to be one big happy family. He doesn't love her he's gone insane. He's kicked me out of the house until I can accept her and be happy for them," I tell them through my bitter and enraged tears.

"He's definitely gone insane but you know you can stay with us," Adam tells me with a smile and I nod. We park at their house and go into the basement; they don't need to tell their mom I'm here because I sleep over all the time. "It's a midlife crisis Clare your dad will realize his mistake eventually," Adam tries to assure me.

"Adam's right this will pass and until then you bunk here," Drew says.

"I know but it still hurts. I'm feeling a little ill and very tired after everything, I think I'll just take a shower and go to bed," I tell them.

"Yeah of course, come get us if you need anything," Adam comments and I smile a little.

"I can ask Bianca to beat Candy up," Drew offers and I laugh a little.

"We'll be right upstairs if you need us," Adam says.

"Thanks Adam, at least I still have you guys."

Adam and Drew hug me and they go upstairs, I take a long shower and then get ready for bed. I feel exhausted and I'm about to fall into bed when I see Fitz in the darkness outside. I run to the sliding glass door and open it; he steps forward a little but stays outside.

"I just came to check on you and make sure you got here."

"Fitz stay here with me tonight please?"

**Update on Saturday will pick up from right here in Fitz pov and will also include Fitz confronting Clare's father.**


	6. Straight through the Ghettos without Lig

**Winners for last week's poll are up on the DeGrassi Saviors website and new character polls are up. **_**These are the last character polls you will be voting on so make your votes count! **_**This week it's Fitz, Dallas and Mia. Be sure and get your votes in the poll will stay up for one week. Next week will begin the voting for various couples.**

**Also check out the new additions to the DeGrassi Saviors homepage. And on my page check out the calendars on my page that list my writing schedule through July. **

**Ch. 6 Straight through the Ghettos without Lights**

**(FITZ)**

"Fitz stay here with me tonight please?" Clare pleads.

"I can't what if someone found me here, if Drew or Adam found me here they'd call the cops," I comment.

"No they won't I'll tell them y…"

"Clare there's nothing you could tell them; even if they didn't have me arrested you know how they'd react to the sight of me."

"Then they won't find you here, I'll set my alarm you can leave early. Please Fitz I feel better when I'm with you, I can't get to sleep because I keep thinking about my father and what he did, how he chose that…that…whore," Clare spits out the word and begins to tear up.

The tears in her eyes rip at my heart, to know that someone who is supposed to love her unconditionally did something so hurtful. That her father put his needs before hers and cast her out.

"I'll stay," I tell her and she looks up with a gentle smile moving aside to let me in. "Only until you fall asleep so no one finds me here," I add. Clare closes and locks the sliding glass door and walks back to the bed in the far part of the basement. She gets in the bed and I lean against the dresser.

"Sit on the bed at least," she insists reaching out, "you act as though you're afraid to hold me."

She grabs the bottom of my hoodie pulling me forward. She moves over leaving a space for me to sit. I sit down with my boots off the bed, when I'm sitting Clare sits up a little and puts my arm around her lying her head on my chest. The feel of her in my arms, on my chest, it's a feeling I don't want to go away. I know this will make it so much harder for me to let her go, to watch her be with Eli. I know it will hurt later but right now it feels so good.

"Not afraid to hold you, afraid to let you go," I whisper as she begins to sob softly of my chest.

I don't think she even heard me but it's probably better that way. She cries gently for a while, then it slowly begins to stop, her body becomes heavy and I know she's asleep. I gently lift her from me and lay her on the bed pulling the blanket over her a little more before quietly leaving through the basement door again. I walk through the dark night but not home, first to The Dot which is closed but I wouldn't have gone in anyway there is however roof access from the alley. I leap from the trashcan to the ladder and climb up, I live underground but I still love to look at the stars. I don't feel so scarred, so hideous looking when I'm looking up at the stars, I just feel like a very small part of something very big. I start to get tired and after watching the stars for a bit I fall asleep. I wake up with the dawn, my hood fell back in my sleep and the sun hits my face and my scars. I don't go out into the sun, not without my hood up and the scarring on my face and the rest of me has never really been in the sun, I went from the hospital to living in the tunnels. The sun kind of burns and I fix my hood quickly. I get down from the roof to the darkness of the alley and follow the darkness back to my home. After eating breakfast I go to my room and sleep for a couple more hours.

When I wake up I go into the school, not where anyone can see me of course but to keep an eye on Clare, Owen and Bianca. Owen and Bianca are both in auto shop and Clare is in chemistry, she looks a little happier today but she still looks sad. I keep watching when they leave class and go to lunch. All of them eat together out on the football bleachers, the bleachers are more exposed it's harder to hide in the shadows, harder but not impossible. There's always a part that's shadowed and staying under where they sit I can keep from being seen.

"…I don't want to go back there; I don't want to see either of them. I hate them I hate them both. I hate her for ever coming into our lives and I hate him for choosing her. I'm not going back to get my stuff until I know they're gone," Clare is saying in a sad voice.

"We can go and get your stuff, move you into Adam's place. I'd like to give your dad a piece of my mind for what he did," Owen growls.

"I still think it only needs to be temporary, you're only moving in until your dad gets his good sense back. You can stay as long as you need to," Adam tells Clare.

"I know, I was pretty much living there anyway but it still hurts and I still hate them," Clare complains.

"Yeah forget it you'll go back to our house with Adam and Bianca we can get your stuff later. You've got plenty of clothes and stuff at our house," Drew says.

I know Clare will spend her spare with Owen and he'll keep her safe so I leave before they're done with lunch. Back into the shadows and make my way to Clare's house. Her house is empty because her dad is still at work, so is her new stepmom. I can easily get into the house but I wait outside for her father to get home, he actually arrives home earlier than I was expecting. He pulls into the garage and I follow him in, the garage door begins to close as the car is in and when he gets out of the car I grab him. I grab his arms shoving him into some boxes.

"Don't hurt me take the car, take anything you want," he cowers from me and he hasn't even seen my face.

"I don't want money; I'm not here to rob you I'm here to remind you of what you lost, willingly lost. You're daughter needs you and you gave that up for your own selfish reasons. You're daughter needs you so grow up and be a fucking father," I growl at him.

"I deserve to be h…" he begins and I punch him to get him to shut up.

"You're happiness should not come at the sacrifice of your daughter. You're a parent you can't just make rash decisions you have to think about your daughter she's fifteen and she still needs you. How could you turn your back on a wonderful person like Clare? If you can't be a fucking father then stay out of her life because if I ever hear that you hurt her again I'll be back and next time I won't be so friendly. Every time you're with Candy I want you to remember what you did to your daughter and know that your happiness is coming at the price of your relationship with Clare."

I punch him once more and it's hard enough to knock him out. Then I go into the house while her dad is still unconscious and up to Clare's room. While not entirely sure what's important to her to keep I can guess what means the most to her. I grab a few pictures of her and her friends, the book from her nightstand that's well-worn so I know she reads it often. I didn't really bring anything to carry this stuff in so I leave with what I have in my hands going out the back. I take them to the school and put them in Clare's locker, school has let out now but there's still a few people here at after school activities and sports. It doesn't matter I just look like another kid in a hoodie, so long as no one sees my face.

I return home to eat dinner and return to my room I make more of the paper flowers then write a note for Clare. When the school is dark and closed I return and put the flowers on her locker slipping the note inside. I go to Adam's to check on Clare, she's in the basement with the Torres brothers and Bianca. It looks like Bianca is sleeping over again tonight so I leave and return home, I know she's safe and if she needs me I'll be back.

**(CLARE)**

"So how was your first night at Adam's?" Eli asks as he joins me and Adam on the steps.

"My night was fine but it was far from my first night at Adam's," I reply.

"Yeah she practically lived there anyway now we just have a reason to bring more of her stuff over," Adam says.

"At first I thought my dad would come to his senses and tell me to come home but even if he did I don't want to be there with the two of them. It's not like he just asked her to move in he married her, a girl he knew for five minutes! I know I keep saying that but I really just don't understand how my father, a man who may not have been father of the year but was at least was reasonably stable, could just marry a woman out of the blue. The more I think about it the less I want to go back ever again, I've been abandoned by my entire family," I huff.

"Maybe not," Adam comments pointing at something. I follow his finger to see my dad pulling up in his car. He doesn't get out of the car but he looks over at me and rolls the window down. "You want me to come with you?" Adam asks.

"No I'll be okay I'll meet you guys inside," I tell them and walk down the steps to my dad's car. When I lean in the window I realize he has bruises on his face. "What happened to you?"

"Had a visit from a friend of yours last night, he broke in and assaulted me. You tell your friends to stay out of our business Clare. I don't need a child's opinion on how to live my life," Dad tells me.

"Then maybe you should stop acting like a child yourself," I hiss back.

"You can come home and be a part of this family at any time. I love you and I love Candy if you give her a chance you'll see that she's really quite nice. She wants to be your friend Clare."

"I honestly don't know who came to see you last night but I didn't ask anyone to do that. The things that truly scares me is that you didn't listen and that you don't seem to have any thought about me. Just when did you turn into such an apathetic asshole dad? Now let me make something very clear as long as Candy is a part of your family I won't be. I will always need my dad but I will never need a selfish apathetic man in the midst of a mid-life crisis."

I turn around and run up the steps before my dad can stop me. I'm angry, really angry and hurt, he didn't come to tell me he was sorry he came to bitch at me and tell me I was wrong. I don't even stop to talk to Eli and Adam just continue to march straight to my locker.

"Clare what happened?" Adam calls after me as he and Eli follow me.

"I don't want to talk about it; I don't even want to see him again," I reply with a bitter tone. The more I think about it the angrier and more hurt I feel. By the time I turn down the hallway with my locker I'm fuming, so angry I feel like hitting something. At least until I see my locker and then I let out a breath and I smile. It's decorated with paper flowers again, of course I already knew it was Fitz that went to see my dad last night but I wouldn't say anything. But now thinking about Fitz and what he did for me and seeing the flowers on my locker makes me smile.

"Your secret admirer is back," Adam teases as I open my locker.

Aside from the schoolbooks, posters and normal things in my locker I also find some of my favorite pictures and my favorite book. Fitz of course got them last night when he went to my house but my smile grows when I see them. There's a note on top which simply says thought I might need that stuff. Adam sees the stuff but merely gives me a look probably wondering how it ended up in my locker.

"So we should get a camera and film today," Eli comments, "you ready for our big kissing scene?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah we need to film today we'll need time to edit. You think we can use your parent's camera Adam? It's just as good if not better than anything the school has," I remark.

"Yeah I'm sure Mom will let us," Adam nods.

"So this mystery guy has he asked you on a date yet?" Eli questions.

"I don't think he's exactly the dating type," I reply getting out my book.

"You want to try again? How about dinner and a movie at my place tomorrow night?" Eli asks.

"Sure that sounds nice," I smile just as Adam closes his locker.

The three of us begin walking to class but I feel Fitz nearby, more than that I feel like he's in pain. Not physical pain though it's like he's sad, I can't explain how I know this, then again maybe I'm just crazy. I've never like two boys before, never been so torn. I like Eli for many reasons and yet the darkness inside him frightens me. I like Fitz for many reasons but I don't think we could ever truly be together.

In class we have a poetry assignment and work in groups so Eli, Adam and I all work in one group. When the bell rings Eli walks with Adam and I part way to chemistry before going to his own class. Alli and Jenna make comments about my locker when they come into class, asking if I know who the secret admirer is and things like that but I just shake my head.

"Come on," Adam says taking my hand as we leave chemistry class to the lunch bell ringing.

"Where are we going?" I question.

"To eat lunch," he replies.

"Isn't everyone doing that?"

"Probably but we're eating alone," he says.

"Okay," I reply slowly. I know Adam wants to talk about something, something he doesn't want anyone else to hear or we'd be eating at school. We walk to The Dot, get food to go and eat in the woods at the ravine, but not where the kids hang out, we're not far from the street but it's private.

"This secret admirer that likes to decorate your locker and leave you gifts he's also your guardian angel isn't he? The guardian angel that led Owen to you when Steve had you trapped in the storage room, and got your mother's ring back for you, they're the same person aren't they?"

"That sounded more like a statement than a question, you already know the answer," I reply.

"So then who is he?"

"I can't tell you, I promised I wouldn't."

"That doesn't make any sense Clare, if you know who this secret admirer/guardian angel is then he's not really a secret admirer. Why would you not be able to tell people? Why not just tell us or let us meet him or go out with him?"

"Because we can't, I can't…I know it doesn't make much sense but that's how it is. We're from two different worlds and he can't be a part of mine and I've sort of been banned from his," I tell Adam but the more I talk the more his eyebrows knit together.

"You know your life is starting to sound like a Shakespearian play or a romantic drama sci-fi movie. What do you mean you're from different worlds did he drop in from a parallel universe?"

"No he's from earth, even lives on earth he just doesn't…look I promised I wouldn't tell his world is secret and I can't betray that. I know it's confusing and your curious but after all he's done for me you can't really be worried that he'd hurt me. He's done nothing but care for me and protect me since I met him. He's really wonderful Adam and I wish you could meet him, maybe one day you can. We're not dating, not sure that's even possible with him and he keeps telling me to be with Eli."

"Okay and how do you feel? What do you want?"

"I don't know I like them both but only one of them I can really date. I do like Eli, but that dark part of him scares me."

"Look nothing says you have to date Eli, I know he likes you and I know you like him but if you have your doubts then talk to him. Maybe you're better as friends. And if you really like guardian angel guy then find a way to make it work. If it's truly what you want then needing to keep it secret might be worth it," Adam advises. I smile at Adam and we finish our lunch before going back into the school.

"Where were you two?" Eli questions when he sees us walk in.

"We were eating lunch alone, had some best friend things to talk about, although now that you're moving in quite possibly for good maybe it was a brotherly discussion," Adam comments.

"Does this mean I have to ask your permission to ask her on dates now?" Eli inquires with a slightly joking tone.

"No it means I have the same curfew as Drew and Adam now," I reply.

"So then we're still on for tomorrow night?" Eli asks.

"Yeah just have her back by eleven," Adam says.

"You know we haven't actually asked your parents if I can move in for good," I point out.

"We'll talk to them tonight at dinner but I'm sure they'll say yes, especially when we tell them what your dad did," Adam comments.

We spend the rest of lunch period with Eli but I have a spare after lunch and they both have class. I go to my locker to get my books and Owen finds me there, we spend our spare in the memorial garden doing homework and then walk to media studies. Drew and Owen have football practice after school and Eli drives Adam and I to the Torres house. After getting permission from his mom to use the camera we use Adam's back yard to film our scene for class.

"I think we should practice the kissing scene first," Eli remarks as Adam sets up the camera.

"Eli we don't need to practice that, let's just run through the whole thing once and then we'll film," I reply.

We run through the scene once with a quick kiss at the right time and then Adam turns on the camera. He calls action and Eli and I start saying our lines but this time instead of a quick kiss our lips stay locked. His fingers combing into my hair, his other hand pressing at the small of my back lightly, his lips part slightly and his tongue licks over my bottom lip. My lips open just a little, my tongue carefully sliding between my lips and kissing his tongue.

"Hey stop making out we have a movie to shoot," Adam admonishes. "I said cut now cut it out you two," Adam says a little louder.

"Sorry it felt right for the scene," Eli replies with a smirk and I bite my lip.

"Right well you can kiss her again I want to get a different angle but no more making out, this is not a date it's a school assignment," Adam comments.

We run the scene two more times while Adam shoots from different angles and so Eli and I kiss twice more. Only quick kisses this time, if we try to kiss too long Adam stops us.

"We'll edit tomorrow I should probably get home, see you guys tomorrow," Eli says when we're done.

"Later Eli," Adam says.

"See you tomorrow," I smile.

Eli waves and we watch him walk to his car and we go inside. Adam and I finish our homework in the basement. Drew gets home just before dinner and almost at the same time that Omar does.

"Sleeping over again Clare?" Audra asks.

"Actually she sort of needs to move in," Adam tells them.

"Yeah her dad went nuts and married some barely legal chick on Sunday," Drew enlightens them.

"Your father did what?" Audra exclaims choking on the bite she just took.

"He met this girl named Candy and I do mean girl she can't be more than twenty. I first met her on Friday and when I went home last night found out they got married on Sunday. He didn't tell me anything, didn't say anything, I come home to find out I have a new stepmom who probably graduated high school last summer assuming that she even finished high school. Then my father essentially tells me that I can either suck it up and live there with them or I can get out. That he deserves to be happy and it doesn't seem to matter what I want or need anymore. So I left. He came to the school this morning and told me pretty much the same thing. I can accept this girl as I my stepmom and be a part of their happy family or I can stay away."

"He's going through a midlife crisis," Drew comments.

"Midlife crisis or not I can't believe Randall would do such a thing. I mean honestly that's just terrible what kind of an example is that for your child. Marrying some stranger after a couple of days and kicking out your own daughter," Audra growls.

"We could take legal action however from the sounds of it I think it's better if you simply move in here whether it's temporary or permanent," Omar speaks up.

"Well of course you're moving in, you're here so much anyway we'll just need to bring over more of your things. Same rules as the boys have and you'll have chores," Audra tells me.

"I know and thanks," I smile.

After dinner Drew does his homework in the basement while Adam and I watch TV. We end up helping Drew a lot but I'm used to it. We stay up until midnight watching TV and then the brothers go up to bed. I brush my teeth in the washroom and when I come out I hear tapping at the door. Knowing it's Fitz I run to the glass door and open it, smiling when I see him even though he's cloaked in darkness and his hoodie so he's only a shadowed figure.

"Stay again, at least until I fall asleep," I request taking his hand and pulling him into the basement.

"Clare I shouldn't I only came to see you like I promised I would. Don't you have a date with Eli tomorrow?" He inquires in a whisper.

"That's tomorrow and I live here now so I'll have to be back by curfew," I tell him pulling him to what is now my room.

"Clare we can't, I mean I shouldn't be here," Fitz tries to argue.

"But I want you here, please I feel better when you're around. You tell me I can't ask about you so I stop, I stopped trying to find you but I like when you're around."

"And what about Eli?"

"We've only been a couple of dates, something I can't do with you, and I still don't know what I feel for Eli. I do know that I slept great last night because of you even after what happened. I do know that my dad came to the school angry this morning after your visit," I'm saying and Fitz speaks up before I can go any farther.

"I'm sorry did I make things worse?" He apologizes but he does sit on the bed.

"No they were already terrible, thank you for standing up to him and for the stuff you got from my room. Please stay Fitz help me get to sleep before you run back to the shadows. I spend all day knowing you're watching me and not being able to be with you."

"I'll stay but only until you're asleep," he tells me. I turn off the lights and get into the bed lying on Fitz's chest.

"Why do you always wear gloves?" I ask picking up his hands.

"Because my hands got burned," he replies.

"Take them off I want to feel your skin," I request.

"It doesn't feel much like skin, I thought you were supposed to be getting to sleep."

"Please take off the gloves, it's dark I can't see," I urge him.

"Go to sleep Clare it's nothing you want to see or feel, there's a reason I stay covered all the time," he replies stroking my hair back.

"But doesn't it get hot?" I inquire.

"I take them off in my room now get to sleep," he says again.

"I can't I keep thinking about my father," I respond.

"Close your eyes and relax, don't think about your dad anymore," he says rubbing my back slowly.

"Do you think I could see your world someday?" I ask with a yawn.

"Maybe someday Clare now get to sleep, if you can't fall asleep I should go."

"No don't go I'll fall asleep," gripping his hoodie, "I like having you here."

"I know that's sort of the problem," he replies.

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind get to sleep you have school in the morning."

I want to say more but I'm afraid he'll leave so I take his hand and hold it, tightly as I can hoping that he'll stay all night.

**Update Thursday will begin with Clare's date with Eli.**


	7. Just Me & the Night

**Sorry there was no chapter last night guys we have 3 serious looming deadlines at work on top of our annual event being next Friday! So work is a wee bit ridiculous right now and to make it even worse two people are on vacation and the person that was supposed to be handing the event this year instead of me no longer works for us so it's back on me. **

**This coming week will be just insane for me and chapters are probably going to be very short. I will do my absolute best not to skip another chapter but they will likely be on the short side.**

**Winners for last week's poll are up on the DeGrassi Saviors website and new character polls are up. **_**These are the last character polls you will be voting on so make your votes count! **_**This week it's Fitz, Dallas and Mia. Be sure and get your votes in the poll will stay up for one week. Next week will begin the voting for various couples.**

**Also check out the new additions to the DeGrassi Saviors homepage. And on my page check out the calendars on my page that list my writing schedule through July.**

**Ch. 7 Just Me &amp; the Night**

**(CLARE)**

"Ready to go?" Eli asks as we leave class Thursday afternoon.

"Yeah," I smile as he holds his arm out to me.

"Have her back by ten it's a school night," Drew says.

"I will," Eli replies and we walk out to his car. I'm going to his house for dinner and a movie, we'll do homework first even though I got most of mine done on my spare, and we edited our movie at lunch so it's ready to turn in tomorrow. Eli gets us a snack when we get in and we sit down to do our homework. I finish mine first but Eli's already got on the TV.

"Where's your washroom?" I question after drinking two glasses of lemonade.

"Upstairs at the end of the hall," Eli tells me.

I go upstairs to find the washroom but the first door I see has a padlock on it, by the Dead Hand poster on the door I know it's Eli's. I furrow my brow at the lock and wonder why he'd need a padlock on his bedroom door. I use the washroom and return downstairs.

"Uh Eli why do you have a padlock on your bedroom door?" I question cautiously.

Eli's eyes narrow a little, I didn't even look in the room and he looks as though I violated his personal property just by asking the quesition. I bite my lip and look down like I did something wrong because it's how I feel.

"I like my privacy," he replies sounding a little angry but he's not yelling or anything. "We should probably order dinner, I was thinking Thai there's a great place down the street but they're popular so it takes over an hour to get here."

"Thai sounds great," I nod.

Eli retrieves the menu, I look it over deciding what I want and he calls in the order. He's calm and never yelled but for the next half hour or so I'm afraid to say or do anything just because of how he looked at me. By the time the food comes I'm more relaxed and Eli hasn't looked scary, in fact he's been quite sweet. We pick out a movie and sit on the sofa watching the movie. His parents are out tonight so I know they won't be home. We eat watching the movie, when we're done eating Eli puts his arm around me.

"You want to watch another movie? My parents won't be back until after I have to take you home," Eli says and I open my mouth to answer but he keeps talking. "No wait I'm going to write my own movie, no better a play, a love story a fantastic love story and you can play the lead."

Before I can even tell him I don't act and he doesn't want me to play the lead he races upstairs still talking. I follow him upstairs to I can tell him I don't act but maybe I can help him write it or at least edit.

"Eli I d…" is all I can get out because he whirls around and glares at me, a menacing almost hateful glare that makes my heart race with fear.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON'T FOLLOW ME NO ONE CAN SEE INTO MY ROOM!" He screams and I shrink back.

"I'm sorry I didn't…"

"Just wait for me downstairs," Eli asserts no longer yelling but he growls it as an order and I'm frightened.

"I think I should just go back to Adam's," I reply turning to run downstairs.

"NO STOP!" Eli yells and then I hear a crashing sound and look behind me to see that he's a shelf full of stuff off the bookshelf in the hall.

"Eli you're scaring me I want to go home," I assert.

"No, no don't leave," he sort of begs and leaps down the stairs to get in front of me. He blocks me from continuing down the stairs and holds my arm with one hand in a controlling manner while the other cups my face tenderly. "I have so many ideas Clare, the perfect play for us, the ultimate love story. It will be epic Clare, there are so many ideas racing in my head, you have to stay you're my muse I need you so you can't leave. You can move in here, move in with me," he asserts. He talks extremely rapidly, there's a frenzied look in his eyes but also a hopeful one. He almost seems euphoric and yet manic all at once but he is entirely serious about me moving in.

"Eli I can't move in with you I barely know you and I live with Adam. I really think I should go home now, we can talk about the play tomorrow," I insist trying not to show my fear.

"No you'll move in here you can't leave now I need my muse," Eli growls tightening his grip on my arm and beginning to pull me up the stairs.

"Eli let me go," I say trying to pull away from him but my voice is no longer strong just scared and begging.

"You're staying, you'll move in and be my muse Clare. I have so many ideas, a million of them for my play. My epic love story play about us," Eli continues talking in a hurried manner as he tries to drag me upstairs and I try to get out of his grip.

I'm getting more terrified by the moment, my own mind runs wild with horrifying possibilities like he has a padlock on his door because he has other girls in there. Ridiculous notion I know but at this moment I'm not sure what Eli is capable of or what he'll do. We're nearing the top of the stairs and I'm certain he's about to lock me in his room when a dark hooded figure stops us, grabbing Eli's wrist and forcing him to let go of my arm.

"She said let her go," Fitz snarls punching Eli hard before he can even turn his head to look at Fitz. Eli falls back, slips on the steps and hits his head. I gasp and at the same time cling to Fitz very grateful that he's here to save me, yet again. "Are you okay?"

"Yes I am now thanks to you but you'd better go I need to make sure Eli's okay," I tell him.

"I'll be close by," he assures me.

Reluctantly letting go of Fitz he goes back down the stairs and I look at Eli. He's only unconscious, he's breathing and not bleeding from the ears or anything, he'll have a headache and maybe a concussion. I go downstairs grab my phone and call Adam for the first couple of rings I hold it together but now that I'm not afraid anymore I kind of breakdown, sinking onto the sofa and breaking into tears.

"How's the date going?" Adam asks upon answering.

"Adam can you and Drew come get me?" I request between deep breaths and tears.

"What's wrong?"

"Eli he…he I don't know he was yelling and…I thought he…he…" I'm crying so hard I can't even speak now.

"It's okay we're on our way just wait outside okay," Adam says and hangs up. I nod to no one, gather my stuff and go out the door sitting on the front step and waiting for Adam. A car pulls up a moment later but it's not Adam and Drew, it's Owen. Obviously Drew called him since Owen lives closer to Eli than Adam does.

"What happened? Where's Eli?" Owen inquires.

"Probably still on the steps, can you check on him?"

Owen nods and goes inside, I stop crying by the time he comes out which is also when Drew pulls up with Adam and Bianca in the car. Drew parks and they all come out.

"Eli will be alright, he probably has a concussion though. I helped him to his bed and called his parents what happened?" Owen questions as Adam comes over and hugs me.

"Everything was fine and then he had an idea for a play but he became obsessed with the idea. He kept talking about it and wouldn't stop and when I told him I wanted to back to Adam's he got angry and started pulling me up the stairs, I was fighting to get away and he slipped. Then I called Adam," I tell them leaving out that Fitz rescued me and hoping Eli won't remember someone else was there because of his concussion.

"He's mostly just dazed now, why don't you guys get her home and I'll stay with Eli until his parents get here," Owen tells us.

"Yeah let's get home," Adam nods pulling me to the car.

"Thanks for coming over here," Drew says to Owen.

"No problem see you guys tomorrow," he replies and we get in the car.

"You sure you're okay?" Adam questions as Drew begins driving home.

"Yeah just a little shaken," I nod.

We drive in silence the rest of the way and when we get home I take a shower. I feel better after a long relaxing shower, after getting into my pajamas and going out to the main part of the basement where the others are Adam tells me Eli's parents took him to the ER. Bianca is staying the night and just before we go to bed Eli sends me a text to say that he has a concussion and won't be in school tomorrow, and that he's sorry for scaring me.

Bianca is sleeping over tonight so I know Fitz won't be by. She sleeps on the sofa and I sleep in my bed. Given my father's recent behavior Omar had a lawyer draw up guardianship papers for my father to sign when they meet with him this weekend. While Audra, Omar and the family lawyer from his office meet with my father I'll be at his house with Adam, Drew and Bianca, as well Owen possibly, to get most of my stuff. I fall asleep fairly quickly but wake after a disturbing dream, now I'm restless and unable to sleep. I try quietly going to the fridge for water but it still wakes Bianca.

"You alright Clare?" She asks sitting up with a big yawn so that I barely understand her.

"Fine just getting some water I had a…disturbing dream," I reply grabbing a bottle from the fridge.

"You want to talk about it?" She asks.

"No it's okay you can go back to sleep," I tell her with a smile although I'm not sure that she can see me in the dark.

"I don't need sleep, besides I'm curious now. Come on you'll feel better if you talk about it," she insists sitting all the way up and patting the sofa next to her.

"It was extremely weird," I tell her but I walk to the sofa and sit down.

"Most dreams are weird Babe. I once had a dream that I was part peacock, not peahen mind you but a peacock with all the schmancy feathers. I laid a golden egg that exploded into clovers and flowers," Bianca tells me and I giggle at her dream.

"I was a princess I think, well I lived in a castle anyway, even though it was pretty small. My father was king and he married a wench, then he married me off to Eli who was a prince, handsome and rich but he was dark, almost evil. I went to live in his palace and at first I was happy but then he became darker and anger, tried to lock me away. Then I found a creature living under the palace, he was ugly and beastly looking, scaled almost but he was very sweet, tender, caring and protective. I ran away with him and he turned from ugly creature to a handsome boy. So am I crazy? Have I been reading too many fairy tales?"

"No given the last few days it makes total sense. Your dad is a total nut bag who married a girl out of the blue. Eli is like a dark prince, he's good looking but he's dark and he's obviously got a bad side. This creature that lives underground and becomes a prince well…I'm not too sure, you're secret admirer maybe. Anyway as weird as your dream was it makes total sense so stop worrying about is and get to sleep," Bianca tells me.

"Night and thanks," I grin getting up. I go back to my bed feeling much better and fall asleep without trouble this time.

**(FITZ)**

"When are you going to take those flowers down?" Eli asks Clare as he walks her and Adam to their lockers Thursday morning. I've been in the crawl space behind their lockers for a while waiting for Clare to get to school. Already saw Owen and Bianca they were at their lockers before going out front to wait for Drew.

"I like the flowers, they're nice and I'm not going to take them down," Clare replies and I hear the smile on her lips and I know she's thinking of me.

"We're still on for tonight?" Eli asks and I hear the jealousy in his voice.

"Yes of course I'll go with you right after school," Clare responds.

I hear them talk a few more minutes, Clare and Adam close their lockers and they begin walking to class so I follow through the crawlspace. Listening to their voices to follow them and seeing that they get to class. I travel between Clare's class and Owen and Bianca's class until the bell rings. I watch them all morning and through lunch but when Owen and Clare meet up at her locker to spend their spare together I go back home to eat lunch. I spend the afternoon reading, we have a library and there's not that much more to do down here so we read a sorts of things and that's how we learn. Knowing that Clare has a date with Eli I leave before school is out to follow them, running through the alleys with hood up so that no one sees me. I'm able to follow Eli's car pretty closely to his house, finding a dark corner in the yard where I can stay out of sight. I'm not close enough to hear or see what's going on but if Clare needs me I'll know. I sit out there for hours, mostly day dreaming about being with Clare and not being scarred. It's a fantasy that can never be but it's my favorite one to think about.

Suddenly my wonderful day dreams are interrupted by an immediate and overwhelming feeling of fear from Clare. It's nearing dark now and I leave my hiding spot. The back door to Eli's house is locked but that won't stop me I've been picking locks since I was seven. I get in easily and quietly and listen to what's going on, ready to step in if Clare really needs me but I'll stay in the shadows if I can. It's better if no one sees me. Eli is talking fast, and then he yells and Clare is scared but I listen still and not go in yet, just yelling doesn't mean Clare's in trouble. Then I feel fear and desperation from Clare, she's so scared I know she needs me and can't get out of this alone. I have to find my way through Eli's house, through the kitchen and living room to the stairs where he's trying to pull Clare upstairs and she does not want to go. I tell him to let her go and then punch him before he can see me. Eli falls back hitting his head on the steps and Clare gasps.

"Are you okay?" I ask turning to her and she clings to me.

"Yes I am now thanks to you but you'd better go I need to make sure Eli's okay," she says.

"I'll be close by," I tell her.

Clare smiles and I go back outside, back into the shadows. When I hear Clare go out front I follow, staying in the shadows, hiding in the bushes. When I see Owen pull up I know that she's safe and I leave, going to the alley and underground. I take some dinner and go to my room but I don't feel very hungry and I just stare at the food.

"You're thinking of her again," Doc says coming into my room and sitting on the edge of my bed with me.

"I can't help it I'm always thinking of her I know I shouldn't be but I can't help it. It hurts so much, I want to be with her, to hold her and take her out but I can't. I want so very badly to be with her and I wish more than anything I could be everything that she needs. It tears at me that I can't be with her; I can't even be everything she needs."

"Fitz no one person can be everything another person needs. That's why we live in families and communities even down here. You are what she needs, part of what she needs and I know that you both care for each other deeply. I see it your face and your eyes when you think of her and after you've been with her. If this world was different more tolerant place where looks didn't matter or it didn't hurt so much when people backed away from you cowering in fear because of how you look. Then you could be with Clare and I'm sorry it's not."

"I told her to be with Eli, to go out with him because she can't be with me. I know I still can't but Eli…he's tried to hurt her more than once. He's had mood swings, not normal mood swings and they frighten Clare. I have this continuing fear that he's really going to hurt her."

"As long as you're watching over her I know she'll be safe," Doc tells me patting my shoulder in a fatherly gesture before standing up and leaving my room.

I know I'm not going to be able to sleep so I get up and leave my room and the tunnels, it's night and night is my time. It's just me and the night now, the city is mine. I don't have to walk through the alleys, don't need to hide, don't even need my hoodie on the dark streets. There's still some places I can't go, it's not like I can just walk into a fancy restaurant and have a meal, can't really go anywhere that requires money since I have none, we don't use it down below. Still I can walk free; I can sneak into the movie theatre and watch the movies from behind the screen. I can watch the stars from nearly any roof in the city. I can stroll the parks, walk the harbor, I can be free at night without so much fear. I listen to the city, it's almost magical in it's own mundane way.

From one house I hear someone masterfully playing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. From another I hear laughter, joyous boisterous laughter. The people talking on the street making their own symphony, crickets and birds returning to their nests and owls awakening. I walk for hours, going by Owen's house and then to Adam's, Bianca is here tonight along with Clare and the house is sound asleep. I sit outside for a while; just sit gazing up at the stars and dreaming of a world where I can be with Clare. When the sun begins to rise I retreat back underground, back to the shadows, back to the dark. I go to my room and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

I wake up in the late afternoon, it's after lunch time at DeGrassi and I know Clare will be with Owen on their spare. Today is first football game of the season and the school is buzzing with talk about the game. I go home to eat returning to the school just before the game. I go to the far part of the football field that borders the ravine, climbing a tree I have a perfect view of the field without anyone seeing me. I watch Owen, Drew and the DeGrassi team play, I cheer and clap when DeGrassi makes a goal or Owen makes a good play. I watch Clare in the stands sitting with Adam and Bianca, cheering and clapping for Owen and Drew. When the game ends with DeGrassi's victory I watch Bianca run to the field and attack Drew's lips for a joyous kiss. Clare and Adam clap, people are cheering and clapping, in the midst of the celebration I climb from the tree and go back to the shadows. There will be a celebration now, the team and their girlfriends will go out to celebrate so I know Owen and Bianca will be safe in a crowd of friends and people they know. I'm also sure that Clare and Adam are going home and so I follow them, through the shadows and alleys. I'm not the only one, three North Park boys have been following them since they left the school. A block from their house the North Park boys decide it's time for action.

"That victory should have been ours, your team cheated," one of them says.

"Not our fault your team sucks," Adam replies.

Instead of the other guys replying he shoves Adam in the chest. Adam stumbles back a little but Clare catches him.

"No way that guy's a chick, I think we should have some fun," laughs the one that shoved Adam.

"Stay away from them!" I roar coming from the dark but with my hood up still. They all turn to look at me, not that they can see me, I grab them by their jackets knocking their heads together. They both fall down dazed and woozy. "Both of you get home," I tell Adam and Clare while I block a punch from the other. I punch him in the gut and kick him when he crumbles. "Stay away from them, try to hurt either of them again and I will know and I'll come for you. Now take your buddies and get back to your neighborhood.

"Clare was that…" Adam is saying but I don't hear anymore as they run up the street to his house.

I wait until the three boys are running in the other direction, then I walk to Adam's to make sure they made it home safe. Adam and Clare are in the basement but when I come into the yard, even in the shadows, Clare looks over at me. Adam looks over too; he sees me but can't see my face because my hood is still up. She says something to Adam and then they both come out of the basement.

**The next update is Tuesday and will pick up from right here in Clare's pov.**

**So because **_**Through Early Morning Fog**_** could not be posted last night and **_**I Love You More**_** is ending Tomorrow, I will be posting rearranging the schedule a bit to get two chapters of **_**Through Early Morning Fog **_**next week.**


	8. His Fingers, they Give a Touch

_**This coming week will be just insane for me and chapters are probably going to be very short. I will do my absolute best not to skip another chapter but they will likely be on the short side. **_

**Readers of dragonsprit's stories note that updates will be touch and go this week because he's swamped like me.**

**The character polls are all done, thank you to everyone that voted. There will be two sets of coupling polls to vote on, I will leave each set up for two weeks. For the next two weeks you can vote on who you want Clare, Adam, Bianca and Fitz to be with. Please please read the notes for the voting it is important. Each of the polls allows for a write in option you can suggest anyone you like including crossover characters. **_**Please note who is on each poll, you don't need to suggest Bianca be with Clare because you can vote for Clare/Bianca on Bianca's poll**_**.**

**Also just below the polls is a list of all the characters (so far) that will be included, more may be added dependent on the coupling polls. Below the list of characters is a slideshow of some of the characters as their creature for the story. Not everyone gets a picture because I really don't know what to do for some of them such as vampires and damphyr. I'm open to suggestions but bear in mind that I don't have Photoshop or illustrator and I haven't a clue how to make animations or gifs.**

**Ch. 8 His Fingers, they Give a Touch**

**(CLARE)**

"So that was secret admirer guardian angel guy," Adam comments when we reach his house and I nod. "Should we have just left him there?"

"They planned to rape us and I've learned at this point that he can handle himself," I tell Adam although now that the fear of being raped has dissipated I am worried about Fitz.

"Does he randomly show up to be the hero a lot?" Adam inquires.

"That's kind of how we met. Remember those boys at the ravine that got beat up? I was walking home after the practice and they appeared. I fought back but then I fell and was knocked out and he saved me," I tell Adam pacing nervously and thinking I should go back and make sure that Fitz is okay. And then I feel him, close, watching me. I look outside and he's barely visible in the shadows. Adam follows my gaze but he doesn't see Fitz until he moves a little and moonlight hits his hoodie. "I'll be right back," I tell Adam.

"I'm coming with you, to thank him for what he did, besides I think it's about time to meet this mystery man of yours," Adam says. I know that Adam won't try to take off Fitz's hood and he won't ask questions. We both leave the basement and walk near Fitz but keep a small distance so he remains in shadow and we stay in the light. "Just wanted to say thanks for what you did back there, Clare and I could have been really hurt. I guess you've been looking out for her and she's important to me so thanks. I'd introduce myself but I have a feeling you already know who I am," Adam comments.

"Yeah I do, seen you and your brother around school. I know you're a good friend to Clare and that Drew is good for Bianca. And you're welcome they won't bother you again," Fitz replies.

"Well I'll give you guys some time," Adam says turning and going back in the basement.

With Adam gone I step into the shadows, taking Fitz's gloved hand as I walk past him and pulling him even farther into the shadows. When I'm sure we're fully invisible to everyone else I turn to Fitz and embrace him, holding him tight and close and not wanting to let go. Fitz's arms come around me and I smile.

"You could have been hurt," I scold him.

"Physical pain I can take, actually I hardly feel physical pain any longer. It would have more painful for me if you and Adam had been hurt or worse. I'm fine and they won't bother you again just some punk kids with a pack mentality."

"I still don't want you to be hurt," I tell him and he holds me a little tighter.

"How much does Adam know?" Fitz asks after a silent few seconds.

"Are you angry? I didn't tell him anything I shouldn't. Please don't tell me I can't see you anymore because Adam knows," I beg.

"I'm not mad and I wasn't going to say that, I don't want to be away from you either. It's just that he didn't ask questions or even seem that surprised," Fitz says.

"He figured out that my secret admirer who leaves beautiful paper flowers on my locker, and my guardian angel that led Owen to me in the storage room are one and the same. I didn't tell him your name or anything, only that you'd saved me before and you protected me. I didn't tell him anything that would lead to your identity. I did say we couldn't be together because we're from two different worlds and Adam asked me what I want."

"What do you want?" Fitz questions tipping my chin up.

"I know I'm happy with you, I know I feel safe with you. I know I get to spend lots of time with Eli but I might spend a few minutes a day with you. If I'm really lucky and no one else is around then you'll stay with me until I fall asleep," I reply and I feel Fitz sigh, his whole body tightens and his grip loosens on me a little. "Look I know your world is secret and I would never intentionally betray that, I know you don't want to be seen in my world but I know how I feel when I'm around you. And I know the little bit of time I do get with you isn't enough," I tell him.

"Can you get away for a while tomorrow night?" Fitz asks.

"I think so," I nod.

"Meet me at the school, near the back of the football field at eight," Fitz replies.

"Okay, what for?"

"Just meet me there, I should go I'll see you tomorrow," Fitz says letting go of me. I release him and walk back to the basement.

"So he seems nice," Adam comments when I come in.

"He is, he asked me to meet him at the school tomorrow night. I'll tell your mom I'm meeting Alli and Jenna or something."

"Just be home by curfew," Adam says although he's been sketching something since I came in and hasn't looked at me except when I came in.

"What are you doing?" I inquire peaking over his shoulder. I've seen Adam sketch before, he's quite good actually. But he doesn't usually do it like this; he seems to be concentrating really hard.

"Your life right now would make an excellent comic book," Adam replies and I see him making a rough sketch of Fitz saving us from those boys.

"Adam!"

"Well it would, you like two boys but one has a major dark side and the other is mysterious and swoops in to save you like Batman."

"Just don't use our names," I tell him.

"I don't even know mystery guy's name," Adam reminds me.

"I better get to read this when it's done."

"Of course, you're starring in it," Adam grins.

I smile and lean back on the sofa changing the channel on the TV. Adam works on his comic book panels for two hours straight, he draws it like a comic book putting in captions and talking bubbles for the characters. When he's done with a panel he hands it to me to look out. They aren't quite in order, one is of Fitz saving us and the next is me with Eli, the next is Fitz going to my house to get my things. He can put them in order later, assuming he actually makes it into a comic book. He uses Diana, my middle name, instead of my first name or my character in the comic I guess. He uses Elliot instead of Eli and since he doesn't know Fitz's name, and I suppose didn't think Mystery Guy was appropriate, uses the name Dark Hood for Fitz. He's still working on it when Drew and Bianca get home.

"You look way too busy for a Friday night little bro," Drew comments.

"Making a comic?" Bianca states taking a panel to look at it, "These are pretty cool. Wait did you meet Clare's mystery guy?"

"Yeah sort of, he saved us from three North Park boys that followed us from the game a…"

"What?" Drew questions interrupting his brother. "What do you mean they followed you are you guys okay?"

"We're fine, they followed us from the game, they were angry DeGrassi won. They started to fight with Adam then found out about him and had other plans but Dark Hood, as Adam calls him in the comic, swooped in and saved us," I explain.

"Remind me to thank him if I ever meet him," Drew says.

"Yeah when do we get to meet him?" Bianca asks.

"Probably never," I reply.

"Should we be worried? I mean that we can't meet this guy?"

"I met him, he's nice he cares about Clare and he's saved her more than once. He's the one that keeps leaving the paper flowers on her locker. Ooh that would make a good panel," Adam says putting the one he was working on down to start drawing another.

"Well at least he's not scary like Eli," Drew comments.

"Eli's only scary when his dark side comes out he can be very sweet and we have a lot in common but that dark side does scare me," I sigh.

"Have you heard from him since Thursday?" Bianca asks.

"Only his text that night," I reply.

The four of us stay up for a while watching TV and Adam works on his comic. The boys go upstairs a little after two and then Bianca and I go to bed. I sleep through the night without any super odd dreams. Audra and Omar wake up long before us and they leave at one to go meet with the lawyer and my father. The four of us take the car and meet Owen at my house to get my stuff. I pack suitcases with clothes, a few boxes and tote bags with books and personal things I don't want to leave behind. I leave a lot, I'm sure I'm forgetting something but it's not like I can't come back. We take all my stuff back to Adam's and Audra and Omar are back now.

"Your father signed the guardianship papers, he can visit you here but he has to give us notice and he can't bring that child he married. They'll be approved and filed on Monday," Audra tells us but mostly me when she comes down to the basement.

"Thanks, I don't want to see him for a while," I reply.

"You don't have to Sweetie. Dinner will be ready in an hour is everyone staying?"

"Yes," Owen and Bianca say at the same time.

"Uh I told Alli and Jenna I'd meet them for a movie later," I speak up before Audra goes back upstairs.

"No problem Clare just be back by curfew," Audra replies.

Adam continues working on his comic, which Owen is now reading, and we watch TV until dinner. Fitz told me to meet him at eight so after dinner I walk to the school; I wait near the back of the football field for Fitz wondering what he has planned. As I had no idea what his plans were I came in jeans and a blue sweater, I have a jacket in case it gets cold.

"This way," Fitz's voice from behind me makes me turn and I smile when I see him, even if he's shrouded in his hood. He has backpack with him as well and holds out his hand to me.

I smile and take his hand; we begin walking through the woods and down to the ravine, then to a large storm drain. This takes us into the tunnels under the city, we're close to the subway I can hear the trains. I don't know how Fitz finds his way down here I would get terribly lost. We walk for a while, more than twenty minutes, but after a while I hear music, wonderful music and it echoes down here it seems to be all around us.

"Up the ladder, I'll follow you," Fitz tells me.

"Where are we?" I ask as I begin climbing the ladder.

"Massey Hall, we're underneath it now but up there we're inside. A very old part that they don't use anymore, they'll never know we're here but we're just under the stage and we can hear the whole concert," he informs me as I get to the top of the ladder.

We're in a room, an old dressing room maybe or prop room perhaps, light filters through from the stage above making streams of light like moonbeams. The music surrounds us; it's intimate and romantic, warm and almost dreamlike.

"It's gorgeous in here, absolutely beautiful I feel as though I'm in the music it surrounds us," I smile almost sitting but Fitz catches my arm.

"Wait, I came prepared. You said you didn't get enough time with me and you get dates with Eli so I thought you would like a date with me," Fitz says taking a blanket from the backpack and spreading it out.

"I love it this is wonderful, better than anything I could have imagined," I grin sitting down.

"I brought dessert, Mary made blueberry truffle tarts and hot chocolate," Fitz tells me taking a container and a thermos with two cups.

"You've thought of everything," I smile and lean down to kiss his cheek but then stop. "Take down your hood please, and your gloves take them off please," I request.

"Clare you know…" he begins but I cut him off.

"I know you're burned, I know you have scars I've seen them."

"And been scared by them," Fitz reminds me.

"Only because when I don't see them it's easy to forget all the pain you've been through. There's only a little bit of light down here I won't be able to see much anyway but if this is a date then you can't hide under your hood. Or your gloves, if I hold your hand I want to feel the skin on your hand not your glove," I plead with him. He sighs a little and takes down his hood before removing his gloves. "Thank you," I grin and softly kiss his cheek.

I see him grin in the dim light and he hands me a tart before pouring me a mug of hot chocolate. We eat and listen to the concert, when I finish eating I put my head on his shoulder and take his hand. My hand is underneath his, my thumb begins instinctually caressing his scars.

"Does it feel weird?" Fitz asks.

"It feels like you, it's part of your story, of who are you. It feels a little rougher than normal skin but it feels very smooth and I like the feel of it. You're always hiding it, even from me I've never felt your hand before."

I feel Fitz smile and he kisses the top of my head. The concert lasts over two hours and we just sit there and listen. It's like our own private concert because it's just the two of us down here.

"I should get you home," he says when the music ends.

"This was amazing thank you," I grin as we stand. I put my hands on his shoulders and stand on my tiptoes and softly place my lips on his.

"I should be thanking you," Fitz replies.

"What for?"

"I can't remember a night when I've been so happy," Fitz tells me and I grin bighting my lip.

We clean up and Fitz climbs down the ladder first and we walk through the tunnels most of the way back to Adam's house. Fitz put his hood up again but he left his gloves off and has been holding my hand the whole way through the tunnels and even on the streets. It's quite dark, especially the way we go through the back alleys but I feel perfectly safe with Fitz. We come to the Torres yard from the back through an alley and another backyard so that we're in the shadows under the big trees in the backyard.

"Tonight was amazing do I get another date?" I ask.

"We probably shouldn't, you know we can't be together. Secret dates and hiding wouldn't be fair to you and I know that you like another boy."

"I like Eli but he frightens me. He and I have only been on a few dates, he's not my boyfriend. Tonight was the best and happiest I've had in a long time if our next secret date is half as good I will be happy."

"Then we'll do it again," Fitz tells me.

"Good, take your hood down please."

"Why?"

"So I can kiss you goodnight," I tell him and he takes his hood down. Fitz leans down and our lips join, I grip his hoodie and part my lips slightly deepening the kiss.

"Goodnight Fitz."

"Goodnight Clare," he whispers and I walk from the shadows to the basement.

It's not quite curfew yet, Adam and Drew are still out so I let Audra know I'm home and turn on the TV. When I hear a knock on the door I expect it to be Fitz but it's Eli instead.

"Eli what are you doing here?"

**Well this is the last update for this story until August. The next update will pick up from here and include some Owen pov as he begins to piece things together.**


	9. I'll Never Do You No Harm

**This should have gone up yesterday but amongst the insanity at work I got a migraine and writing just was not going to happen. So if you didn't see the note on the DeGrassi Saviors website or the new calendar My Boys, My Girl, My Lovers Four (AKA the Best Served Hot sequel) will premier in September.**

**Ch. 9 I'll Never Do You No Harm**

**(CLARE)**

"Eli what are you doing here?" I question. He's looking down but when he looks up I can tell he's been crying.

"I'm sorry about Thursday, I never meant to scare you Clare. I feel terrible. I didn't mean to yell, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm sorry, so so sorry," Eli bawls. "I didn't mean to Clare, you have to believe me I didn't mean to scare you. I don't know what I was thinking," he continues still crying but talking a little more quickly and he pushes his way past me into the basement. Now he begins pacing as he continues to talk and I close the basement door. "I had an idea, I don't even remember it now but I had to work on it. I needed you and you were trying to leave and I went crazy. I'm sorry, so very sorry that I scared you," Eli says finally taking a breath although he's still pacing.

"It wasn't just that Eli, you wanted to work on a play and you wanted me to star in it. I tried following you to your room to tell you that I don't act and you went ballistic when I tried going in your room. You were more than scary Eli I thought you were going to lock me in your room."

"I'm sorry Clare, really sorry. I thought you were going to leave and you couldn't leave and no one goes into my room not even my parents," Eli tells me. He's not crying any longer but he's talking rapidly and there's a desperation in his voice. "No one's been in my room not since Julia died. She used to stay in my room, sleep there and now she's gone and I'm afraid to lose anything else. Especially you, I can't lose you," Eli begs going down on his knees and taking my hands. "I won't lose you, I can't lose you," he repeats over and over.

The way he talks, the way he's begging you'd think we'd been married for years and I was threatening divorce. In reality I've known him two weeks and we've been on two dates. We're friends but in Eli's mind he seems to think we're so much more. It's both flattering and frightening.

"You won't lose me Eli. I'm your friend and that won't change. And I'm not going to die Eli, I won't run out and get hit by car," I assure him pulling him up by his hands so he's standing again.

"You mean it Clare? I can't lose you, I can't. I love you Clare and I can't lose something else I love."

"Eli you can't love me you barely know me. We've known each other two weeks and been on two dates. We're still getting to know each other you can't possibly lo…"

"But I do Clare," Eli insists cutting me off. He's still holding my hand and he pulls me to him with force, holding tightly to me in a sort of desperation. "I love you. It was love at first sight; don't you believe in love at first sight? Don't you love me?"

I'm just frightened now and no longer flattered by his persistence. I'd like to believe in love at first sight but if it exists it's not something I've ever experienced. Lust at first, like at first sure but love is something that builds over time, at least in my experience. My bond, my inexplicable connection with Fitz is very strong but I'm not even sure I love him and it certainly was not love at first sight. Mostly because I didn't actually see him the first time we met, he was shrouded in his hood.

I don't have an answer, actually I've sort of stopped breathing because I never expected a boy to say that he loves me after two weeks. The fact that he has is rather terrifying really, it seems obsessive and the longer I take to answer Eli back the more his eyes narrow and the angrier he gets.

"Don't you love me Clare?" He asks holding me tighter and his lips grow thin with ire.

"I like you very much Eli, I want to spend time with you, I want to get to know you better but I don't love you Eli. Not ye…"

"Why don't you love me?" Eli growls stepping forward and forcing me against the back of the sofa.

"I haven't had time t…"

"I love you why don't you love me? I love you so much," Eli hisses pressing into me and I fall over the back of the sofa.

"Hey what the hell are you doing?!" Drew snarls rushing over and pulling Eli away. I stand up and Eli glares at the Drew. The boys are staring each other down, each trying to stand tall and be intimidating. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Drew growls.

"She doesn't love me," Eli replies.

"Of course she doesn't love you she's only known you a couple of weeks you lunatic," Drew shoots back clenching his fist and Eli clenches his. I run over getting between the two and pushing them apart before this comes to blows.

"Stop both of you. Eli I think you'd better go," I tell him.

"What's going on?" Adam inquires coming in the door. "Eli what are you doing here?"

"I came to see Clare and apologize for the other day," Eli responds calmly and he seems like he's normal again.

"Which you did and I forgive you. I'll see you at school Monday but you should go home now," I tell him calmly.

"Yeah I should go, see you guys Monday," Eli says waving to Adam and walking out like nothing happened.

"Are you okay?" Drew queries turning to me.

"I'm fine; he didn't really hurt me I just fell over the back of the sofa."

"What did happen? I thought you were going out with Dark Hood tonight," Adam comments.

"Dark Hood?" Drew asks squeezing his eyebrows together and then his face relaxes with realization, "Right mystery guy."

"I did and it was wonderful. He brought me home a little while ago and when there was a knock on the door I thought it was him but it was Eli. Eli was crying, whaling like a child and full of remorse for what happened on Thursday. He kept apologizing and told me he couldn't lose me. Then his sobbing stopped and his remorse slowly became desperation and anger. He told me he loved me and when I couldn't tell him that I love him back he was furious. I tried explaining that I really like him and I need more time to get to know him before I could know that I love him. He wouldn't listen, he stepped forward forcing me over the back of the sofa and that's when Drew came in."

"Eli's nuts you should both stay away from him," Drew comments.

"He's not nuts Drew he's a good guy," Adam refutes.

"Adam's right, he's sweet and smart. I do like him and he can get intense but he's been through something. Something awful and it affected him, things seem to trigger that memory for him it wasn't that long ago and it's still sensitive for him," I explain without betraying Eli's secret.

"Fine but he can be dangerous when this memory of his is triggered and you both need to be careful. Since I doubt any of us will sleep anytime soon why don't we watch some movies," Drew suggests.

"Yeah I'm up for movies," Adam says and I nod.

We watch two movies before we're tired enough to fall asleep. Drew and Adam say goodnight and Drew makes sure the exterior door is locked before they go up to their rooms. I start to get ready for bed when I hear a tapping at the window. This time I know it's Fitz before I even get to the door.

"I would have come earlier when I felt your fear but I saw Drew come home. Are you okay?"

"Yes but I'm glad you're here," I smile pulling him in. "Will you stay? Bianca's not here and Drew and Adam will stay upstairs."

"I've been sleeping more here lately than my own home," Fitz comments.

"I know but I feel better when you're here and after the beautiful night we had the one thing that would make it perfect is falling asleep in your arms," I tell him.

"Is that it or are you afraid Eli will come back?"

"If I tell you I'm afraid of Eli coming back will it convince you to stay?" I question.

"I'll stay, until you're asleep, but you're going to tell me what happened with El," Fitz insists.

I finish getting ready for bed and Fitz sits on the bed. When I'm in bed I lie down and use his chest as a pillow.

"I really did have a wonderful time tonight, the date was magical," I smile fingering the pocket on his hoodie.

"I'll take you on another but right now you need to tell me what Eli did," Fitz reminds me. I repeat the story to him, everything that happened and I feel his chest become tight as I talk. "He's dangerous, I know I told you to be with him but you should stay away from him," Fitz comments when I'm done.

"Now you sound like Drew. Eli can be scary but he needs help and I do still like him. We have a lot in common and…"

"You don't have to hide with him," Fitz finishes for me.

"Yes but I love what we have too. I like you both, in different ways and the same way."

"But you can only really be with one of us. I still think he's dangerous but maybe he just needs time."

"Are you trying to push me away? Push me to Eli again?" I question.

"No I won't ever push you again. Sleep now, it's late and I promised not to leave until you were asleep," Fitz says.

"I wish you could stay," I comment but I'm already half asleep, "or that I could fall asleep in your arms in your bed."

"One day Clare," he tells me softly stroking my hair, "one day soon."

**(OWEN)**

I arrived at school early Monday morning, because I had some extra research for a project I had due in my business leadership class this morning. I was close to finishing when Clare came in. She says good morning, I say good morning back and she sits at the computer across from me. When I finish and print my project I go to the printer and look at what Clare's doing.

"Why are you looking up the article about the fire at Fitz's place?" I question sitting at the chair next to her.

"Ever since you told me about the fire I haven't stopped thinking about hi…it," she corrects quickly. "I was hoping there would be a picture of him but there's only a picture of the burned house."

"You've asked about a picture of him before, why does it matter so much?" I question.

"It uh…it just…I have this insatiable curiosity, once my mind latches onto something I can't let go of it until my curiosity has been satisfied. I should get to my locker before class; see you on our spare, okay bye."

After her hasty babbling Clare can't seem to leave or get away from me fast enough. I watch her go and twist my mouth, something is definitely up. I grab my stuff and head for class. B's in class and she tells me about her date with Drew on Saturday while we wait for class to begin. When first period ends we walk to auto shop together, Drew's already in class and he's sort of glaring at Eli.

"What did Eli do?" I question.

"Caught him at my place Saturday night and it looked to me like he was attacking Clare, but she said she was okay and just fell over the sofa. He was acting pretty strange and from what Clare told us we missed the strangest part of his behavior. Clare said she was fine and Eli left but there's something off about him," Drew replies.

"Maybe it was just after effects of his concussion," I comment.

"Yeah maybe but what happened Thursday night? I'm telling you he's crazy Clare's better off with mystery guy," Drew remarks.

"Aww listen to you she's only been there a few nights and you already sound all brotherly," Bianca teases.

"It's true okay and when she talks about mystery guy she smiles. When she talks about Eli she smiles half the time and sounds terrified half the time. She couldn't stop gushing about the date mystery guy took her on Saturday night."

Mr. Ehl comes in and class starts; while we're working I start thinking about what Drew said. Clare's seeming obsession with seeing a picture of Fitz, her mystery guy and guardian angel and then I remember the comic panels Adam was drawing. The Dark Hood figure that's Clare's guardian angel and mystery guy and suddenly all the pieces fit into place. It's like my brain's been slowly working on a puzzle and but I've been doing it in the dark and I just opened my eyes.

"Owen are you okay?" Bianca questions breaking me from my thoughts. I almost tell her that Clare's mystery guy and guardian angel are both Fitz, but I decide I'd better talk to Clare first.

"Yeah I'm fine just thinking," I reply.

"Great well if you're done thinking can you hand me the socket wrench I've asked you for three times now?"

"Oh yeah sorry."

I concentrate for the rest of class and eat with Drew and Bianca, when the bell rings for third period I go to Clare's locker. Adam is here and Eli too, Adam grins at me and Eli sort of nods to me.

"I need to talk to you," I tell Clare.

"Okay, we always spend our spare together," she responds.

"Yeah uh we should go off campus," I comment and now Eli glares at me slightly.

"Uh sure, see you guys in media studies," Clare says and waves to Eli and Adam. We walk out to the lacrosse field because it's the farthest from the school. Not entirely off campus but I didn't want to deal with ravine kids and not too many places for a private conversation on the street.

"Your mystery guy and your guardian angel, the one that led me to you when Steve and his friends had you trapped," I mutter the last part under my breath as that suddenly makes a lot more sense, "they're one in the same."

"That wasn't a question," Clare points out.

"I wasn't asking and given your recent obsession with seeing a picture of Fitz I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that both are Fitz. But why are you so obsessed with seeing a picture of him and why is he protecting you? Not that you don't need it but he didn't know you at all as far as I knew. Where's he been all this time? How come he's talking to you and you know he's alive but he hasn't let me and Bianca know when we're his best friends?" I fire off questions pacing back and forth a little but now I stop and look at her. She's biting her lip, rolling it back and forth between her teeth and the look on her face is a mix of worry and relief.

"He only knows me because he saved me the first day of school. After Adam and I watched you and Drew at football practice I took a short cut along the edge of the ravine. Got approached by two boys and was fighting okay until one caught me and I fell back hitting my head. This figure showed up in a dark hood that shadowed his face and I passed out. If I hadn't been unconscious at the time he probably would have just disappeared but he took me to where he lives so I could be taken care of. He didn't know where I lived because he hadn't been watching me until that point so he took me to his place, which is where I woke up. I promised not to say anything, to you or to anyone he made me promise when he took me home."

"But where is he now? Where does he live?" I cut her off eager to see my old friend and see for myself that he's still alive.

"I can't tell you I promised I wouldn't and I nearly lost his trust once before. I probably shouldn't even be telling you all this."

"BUT HE'S MY FRIEND," I yell. My boisterous yell makes her shrinks back a little and I force myself to calm down. "Sorry it's just I thought he was dead, or at least gone and I find out he's been here all this time. Why hasn't he contacted me or Bianca, no offense but we are his friends, he was our best friend we were like the Three Musketeers and then he vanished. I just don't get why he'd come to you and not us."

"He has, you just weren't aware of it. He's been watching out for you and Bianca this whole time. He's only been protecting me for the last couple of weeks. He saved Bianca from Vince and Anson and he's been there for you he just does it from the shadows. He's afraid to do anything else," she tells me.

"But why? Bianca and I would never hurt him or expose him."

"He's not part of this world anymore," she replies.

"That doesn't make any sense," I growl back and she flinches again. I don't mean to keep scaring her but I pretty much just found out one of my best friends is back from the dead.

"I promised him I wouldn't say anything Owen. When you followed me into the boiler room he told me I couldn't see him anymore and it broke my heart."

"So you two are dating then?"

"We've been on one date but ever since he saved me that day we've shared a connection. One I can't even begin to understand or explain, nor would I want to but it's there and I am very grateful for it. He won't go out in public and I can't be with him the way I'd like," she's sort of babbling now and she seems to realize this as she looks at me and relaxes. "Well anyway it's complicated. Fitz does still care about you and Bianca but I promised him I wouldn't say anything and I can't say anything more than that. I won't risk losing him but you are important to him Owen."

"I'm his friend, he shouldn't be hiding from me."

**(FITZ)**

I leave my room a little after ten at night and make my way through the darkness to Adam and Drew's house, and what is at least temporarily Clare's house. They won't be asleep yet but I made sure Bianca made it home safe and then watched the end of Owen and Drew's football practice. I followed Owen home and returned to my home to eat with everyone. I watch the lights in the house from the darkness, the curtains are closed and I can't see Clare but it doesn't matter. After a couple of hours the flickering lights from the TV go out and a few seconds later a new light comes on. After a couple of minutes that light goes off and the basement door opens.

"Fitz?" Clare calls softly into the dark night knowing I'm here. I step out of the shadows and see her smile in the moonlight. "I knew you were here," she grins pulling me in.

"I'll come every night that I can," I remind her.

"I'm just going to get ready for bed don't go anywhere," she says.

I just smile and go to the bed down here, sitting on it with my shoes hanging off. Clare comes out of the washroom a moment later in pajamas. She gets in bed, I put my arm out and she uses my chest as a pillow.

"Owen knows," she tells me after a few silent minutes and I tense up. "He figured it out on his own, please don't be mad. Don't tell me I can't see you anymore," she begs picking her head up to look at me. I can see her in the dark pretty well but my eyes have gotten used to seeing in the dark I doubt hers have.

"I'm not mad, not really and I won't say we can't see each other anymore. That didn't work for either one of us obviously, but how did Owen figure it out?"

"Well I have been rather curious about you since we first met. Plus it hasn't gone unnoticed that I have a secret admirer and a guardian angel. You led Owen to me when Steve and his friends had me trapped and there's the comic Adam is drawing. He didn't use our names but Owen has read it and he pieced it all together. He knew it was you and he was glad you were alive. He thought you were dead, even though he'd hoped you'd run off and were living somewhere nice. I didn't tell him anything about where you live or why you hide but I did say you'd been looking out for him and Bianca. I had to tell him he was very hurt when he thought you were just looking out for me, he couldn't understand why you'd reveal yourself to me and not let them know you were okay."

"They don't need to know me like this," I sigh.

"Fitz they're your friends, even if you don't show them your face don't you think they at least deserve to know you're alive. Not just alive but doing well and you have a new community that accepts you?" Clare says with a slightly scolding tone.

"No," I reply stubbornly.

"Fitz that's not fair, you didn't see Owen's face today. He was very hurt knowing that you revealed yourself to me and yet didn't even let him know you were alive and well. I love what we have, whatever it is but I've only known you a couple of weeks. Owen and Bianca have been your friends for years, they still think about you and it hurts Owen to know you're alive and here but haven't even tried to get in touch with him. He just wants to know you're okay and to have his friend back, if not the way you were before the fire at least a piece of that. I see you every day don't you think Owen deserves the same or at least to know that you're there."

I release a breath and think about everything, "I have to go. I need to go see someone."

"Good," Clare smiles pushing my hood back to kiss my check.

"I didn't say it was Owen I was going to see," I reply.

"You didn't have to," she responds confidently.

"My life has not been the same since you stumbled into," I comment getting off the bed.

"Is that good or bad?" She questions sitting up a little.

I kneel on the bed and cup her face in my gloved hand, "Good, very good."

She smiles and I leave her going quietly through the basement door. With the night it's easy to move in the shadows to Owen's house. I pick up some rocks from the garden putting them in my pocket and climbing the tree in the yard. It doesn't quite go to his window but there's a limb that's strong enough to hold me and gets close enough to his window for us to talk. I perch on the branch and take a stone from my pocket lightly tossing it to the window so that it makes a clink on the window. There's a light on in Owen's room so I know he's awake but he doesn't come to the window after the first stone so I toss another. This time the curtain opens and then the window and Owen looks down.

"Up here," I say and he looks into the tree. He's looking at me but he can't see me cloaked in the shadow so I shift a little.

"Fitz?! You are alive! Where have you been? Why didn't you tell us you were alive? Why are you hiding in the dark?" He inquires rapidly each question nearly on the same breath as the last.

"It's a long story," is my response.

"Well come inside and tell me then."

"No. I'm hiding in the dark because that's where I stay now. I was caught in the fire and burned, badly burned. You don't want to see me this way," I reply.

"Well where have you been? Where are you living?"

"I've been here but I can't tell you where I live now. It's a secret and it's important that I keep that secret. But I have a community now, a new family and people that care about me. They were all scared by the way I look at first but they're used to it now and they never knew me before. It's a good life but I never forgot about you or Bianca and I've been watching out for you both since I was strong enough to."

"But why didn't you let us know you were alive before?"

"Because I was in the hospital a while and recovering from my burns, I never wanted you guys to see me this way. I didn't want to scare you and I have to hide, I can't just come back to DeGrassi. When I knew the burns would become monstrous scars, when I saw the way people shrunk away, gasped and looked disgusted when they saw me I decided to keep to the darkness and I hide under my hood most of the time even in the dark. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was alive."

Owen is quiet for a moment as he takes in everything I just said. He looks thoughtful and like he's not sure what to ask next.

"So you and Clare?"

"There is no me and Clare, there can't be not the way she deserves. She and I have a connection, one I can't explain but I can…sense her. As deeply as I feel for her I can't really be with her but Eli is dangerous. I'm looking out for her, protecting her the way I do you and Bianca. And now I'm watching out for Drew and Adam too."

"Bianca still doesn't know you're alive," Owen comments.

"You can tell her but I can't see her at her aunt's apartment."

"She'll just be happy that you're alive. When Clare was sneaking around under the boiler room that day was she looking for you? Is that where you live now?"

"Yes she was and no I don't live in the boiler room. I'll come to you guys; I know how to find you. I should go, you should get to sleep and I should get home. Clare was right though you deserve to know I'm alive."

"So we get to see you now? I mean Clare sees you and we're your friends," Owen points out.

"Even Clare doesn't see me without my hood," I tell him, which isn't entirely true she has seen me and she's even insisted on it before but I'm not explaining that all to Owen right now. "I will be back though but it's not like before we can't just hang out and go the movies things are different now."

"Dude I thought you were dead so even being able to talk to you is good. I'll tell Bianca tomorrow," Owen says.

"If she sleeps at Drew's I can talk to her there tomorrow night. Good night Owen."

He says goodnight and I jump out of the tree making my way home. I've known Clare for two weeks and I've already told Owen I was alive and revealed myself, at least in a way, to Adam. It feels good though, not totally hiding and having my friends know I'm alive it does feel good.

**Update Friday September 18****th**** picking up the next day at school and Bianca finding out Fitz is alive. Also Eli gets desperate when he fears he's losing Clare to the mysterious competition.**


	10. Everything Means Nothing

**It's very short I apologize today was extremely hectic at work leaving not time to write and I'm pretty beat. But short is better than not at all right?**

**Be sure to check out the DeGrassi Saviors website. I posted the November and December calendars. November is one shot month, lots and lots and lots of one shots! December is short story month 3 chapters of each short story that will be running at the time. **

**Ch. 10 Everything Means Nothing**

**(OWEN)**

I got to school early this morning waiting for Bianca and Clare. Finding out Fitz was alive yesterday was great and yet upsetting, not upsetting because he's alive but that he's been alive and here all this time and hiding. He's still hiding I guess but at least now I know he's alive and he's been around. I still wish he had let us know he was alive and here and that he wasn't so secretive or that he felt he needs to be. Bianca arrives first, I see her car pull up and walk over to her.

"We need to talk," I tell her and then look around at all the kids in the yard. "Somewhere private," I add taking her hand and pulling her into school.

"Okay Mr. Enigmatic," Bianca responds sardonically. I look around and then pull her into the memorial garden.

"Fitz is alive," I tell her and her mouth drops open.

"What the hell do you mean Fitz is alive? You heard from him? Where the hell is he?"

"He's here, he's been here all along and he's been watching us but I only found out last night that he was even still alive."

"Well how the hell did you find out and where the fuck has he been?"

"He's been here, somewhere I don't know he wouldn't tell me. He's been watching us, looking out for us. When Vince and Anson attacked you it was Fitz that saved you."

"But why didn't he say something? Why has he been hiding?"

"Because he was caught in the fire and badly burned. He didn't want us or anyone to see him that way. He said he would talk to you tonight if you slept at the Torres house."

"So I can see him?"

"He stayed in the dark and the shadow when he was talking to me last night. I couldn't see him at all but I heard his voice, I knew it was him."

"So what he just came to you after all this time and told you he was alive?"

"Not exactly, I figured out that Clare's mystery guy and Dark Hood from Adam's comic, also known as Clare's guardian angel are in the same. I confronted Clare and she confirmed it, she told me she'd tried convincing Fitz to tell us he was alive before but he wouldn't. I guess she finally convinced him," I enlighten her.

"Fitz has a crush on Clare?"

"I think it's more than a crush. They have a relationship of sorts, a connection he called it," I'm telling her and stop talking when the door opens and Drew comes in.

"Everything okay?" Drew questions

"Yeah everything is fine we were just talking," I answer and Bianca doesn't say anything. She knows not to say anything, not yet anyway since Fitz has been a secret this long.

"Walk me to my locker," she says to Drew.

He grins and they leave the room, I follow them out going to my locker. I put in some books and feel a light touch on my arm; I look over to see Clare.

"Omar's mom is coming from Kingston tonight and staying over. She's sleeping in Adam's room and he'll take the sofa downstairs. Even if Fitz doesn't know already he won't come when there's so many people at the house. He'll come to you if Bianca's at your house," she informs me.

"I'll tell her, and thanks for whatever you said to convince him to come to me," I reply and she smiles.

"I knew it was time, I knew he wanted to h…"

"Clare," Eli interrupts us rushing over and grabbing her arm then whirling her around to face him. "Clare I had the most amazing idea, you have to come help me work on it," he asserts pulling her arm and he begins running down the hall dragging her behind him.

"Eli I will help you but we have class in a few minutes," she reminds him. He stops running so suddenly that Clare nearly falls. Eli's behavior is odd and I walk closer to them just to be safe.

"You think class is more important than me?"

"Eli that's not what I said but if we're not in class we'll get in trouble. We can eat lunch with Adam and we can both help you," Clare assures him just as the bell rings.

"Fine but I need to write down all these ideas before I lose them," Eli grumbles and then pulls her along to class.

"That boy is dangerous," I mutter to myself as I walk to class. "Come to my place tonight, Clare says Fitz will find us there, Omar's mom is sleeping over tonight," I inform Bianca when I get to class.

"Yeah Drew told me, I was going to ask about a contingency plan. It's still kind of weird the idea of Fitz and Clare," Bianca comments.

"According to him there is no he and Clare. You can ask him about it tonight. You don't think Drew will mind that you're sleeping at my place?"

"Nah he knows you're like my brother," she shakes her head.

I spend all of homeroom thinking about Fitz, wondering where he's been and about this connection he shares with Clare. What happened to him in the fire and the hospital and a million other thoughts. We leave homeroom together and go to auto shop, Drew's already here and Bianca tells him that she's sleeping at my place tonight because she doesn't want to be at home. Drew just says cool he knows there's nothing more than friendship between us. Clare and Adam are eating outside with Eli and Drew, Bianca and I also eat outside, both to enjoy the warm weather while we have it and to keep an eye on Eli. Nothing happens at lunch really, they just eat and talk, every so often Eli will jump up or make a big motion as he gets an idea but that's about it. Clare and I have our spare after lunch which we spend together now. All six of us walk in together and go to our lockers, Sav and some other members of student council are putting up posters for a dance next Friday.

"We should all go together as a group," Adam speaks up.

"Sure," Clare nods.

"You think we can actually get Drew to dance?" Bianca laughs.

"I'll dance with you Bianca," Clare says.

"Save me a dance?" Eli asserts.

"Of course I will Eli," she nods. After we all visit our lockers the others go to class and Clare and I go into the memorial garden to do homework.

"You going to save Eli that dance?" I ask Clare as we begin to work.

"I promised him I would," she nods without looking up from her book.

"You going to save Fitz a dance too?" I question in a slightly harsher tone than I meant to and now Clare looks up from her book.

"He can't exactly attend the dance; he certainly won't walk into the dance wearing his hood in a room full of kids. He won't, not unless one of us was in trouble and he knew no one else would save us. I wish he would come to the dance, I'd like nothing more than to dance with him, alone or surrounded by people. He holds me close and yet he keeps me at a distance and even though I understand his reasons it hurts. It hurts us both, I know it does I feel his pain but…but I can't force him to come back to this world and I can't be a part of his."

"If you care about Fitz so deeply then why even bother with Eli as anything but a friend?"

"It's complicated and more than I can explain in one spare period. Both boys seem doomed to darkness and I become entangles in it and torn apart by it."

"What do you mean?"

"Fitz chooses to live in the dark, he hides there afraid that his appearance has become so monstrous people will scream when they see him. The dark and the shadow are his friends, he lives in them, hides in them, they surround him. Eli doesn't hide, he's part of society and he doesn't look monstrous but the darkness lives in him. It comes out sometimes turning Eli into a monster, a terrifying violent monster," she tells me with a shudder.

"Has he hurt you before? Is that what happened last week?"

"He didn't mean to," she replies timidly.

"Bullshit if he hurts you again we better hear about it so I can break his face," I assert.

"Fitz was there, he came when I needed him, he always does."

She looks sort of sad, yet happy at the same time. I see how she's torn, how her heart, mind and soul are broken into two pieces, maybe even more. For a moment she's somewhere else, her eyes are distant and a little smile curls up one corner of her mouth as she remembers something fondly or maybe fantasizes about something she wishes for. When the memory or fantasy is gone the smile drops and she looks back at her book doing homework.

We spend the rest of our spare doing homework when the bell rings we both walk to media studies together. We watch a video in the class and then discuss the video. After class Drew and I have football practice after school and Bianca's going straight to my house. I find her there after practice, she eats dinner with us since she's spending the night then we both go back to my room. Bianca's already done all her homework and I only have a little left. I finish it around eight and we watch TV for a few hours. When the rest of my house is dark and silent a pebble hits my window.

"That's Fitz," I tell Bianca and we get up going to my window. I open the curtains and then the window barely able to make out a figure cloaked in darkness.

"Hi Bianca," Fitz says.

"Fuck you really are alive," she exhales. "I don't know whether to kick you or kiss you," Bianca comments.

"You can't do either this is as close as I'm getting, it's not you I'm just safer in shadow," Fitz replies.

"I don't care how bad you look now you're our friend I want to see you," Bianca asserts.

"You say that now but everyone screams or shrinks away when they see me. I'm alive and I've been watching over you, all of you. I know everything that's gone on in your life since I left the hospital," he says.

"But we know nothing that's gone on in yours does that seem fair to you?"

"You are all that's gone on in my life," he responds.

"No it isn't and you know it isn't don't you trust us?" I prod.

"It's not up to me, where I live and who I live with is a secret. One I can't tell even to those I trust. I found them when I left the hospital, I hadn't healed yet. I spent many weeks alone in my room only Doc, he's sort of like a father to me, would come in my room. He took care of me, I healed and became strong again and started watching out for you and Owen. I started watching Drew when you began dating him and then the first day of school Clare went walking through the ravine and was attacked, she fought them before being knocked out. I've been watching her since then and Adam since…I'm not sure really the last couple weeks I guess about as long as I've been watching Clare."

Bianca spends the next few minutes asking Fitz many of the same questions I asked last night and he gives her the same answers. About where he's been and where he lives, why he won't let us see him.

"What about Clare? I know you like her but Owen says you say there is no you and Clare," Bianca remarks.

"There isn't, there can't be. I can't be with her the way she needs, the way she deserves. She deserves better, she d…"

"Bull, that's just bull and you know it. Clare likes you and I know you like her, the flowers on her locker going to see her at night, being there every time she needs you, what guy would do better than that for her?"

"She needs someone that can always be with her, someone that doesn't have to hide their face and someone that can take her on a date and be in public."

"But you could do that, it can't be that bad. People will get used to the way you loo…"

"No," Fitz argues cutting Bianca off abruptly, "no they wouldn't. It took months for the people I live with to not react to how I look; they see me everyday and even with them I still wear my hood. People on the street, in the school, all of society they would react and they do. I don't want to live my life in shame and fear because I look like a monster and make little kids scream."

"Is it really that bad?" Bianca questions.

"Just before the fire Steven and Barry gave me scars on my face, wounds back then. The fire was only a couple of days later; I was caught in it, trapped and severely burned. I look like a creature from a horror movie no one wants to see me."

"Well that just sucks. I know you're alive and we can't hang out with you," Bianca huffs.

"I'll look out for you, and I'll come to you, we can talk like I do with Clare."

"There's a dance next week Clare wants you to be there," I tell him.

"I can't come to a school dance," Fitz argues.

"Then find a way to dance with Clare because she deserves that too," I assert.

"I can't come into the dance but there m…" Fitz pauses and stand in the tree, "I have to go Clare's in trouble."

Before either of us can say anything he jumps down from the tree and runs from the yard. He's gone into the dark before we can even take a breath and I exchange a look with Bianca.

"Do you think Clare's really in trouble?" She asks.

"I have no idea but I'll call Drew I'm sure he's still awake," I reply.

"Hey Owen," Drew answers.

"Is Clare okay?" I inquire.

"Uh she should be getting ready for bed downstairs, hang on I'll go check," Drew tells us. I hear him get up and walk down two sets of stairs to the basement. "Clare?" Drew calls but we don't hear anything. After a few seconds I hear him knocking on a door and then he speaks, "Where's Clare?" Drew asks so Adam must have answered the door, washroom door I'm guessing.

"What do you mean where's Clare she's right…where'd she go?"

"I have to go Clare's missing," Drew replies and hangs up.

"So she's not okay?" Bianca inquires.

"I don't know she's missing."

**I know really short and I'm ending on a cliffhanger, the next update on October 15****th**** will pick up from here and likely include the dance as well.**


	11. Darkness Within & Without

**It's super short sorry guys work was ridiculous and I didn't even get to start writing until I got home. Normally when work is so crazy and I don't have any time to write there isn't a chapter that day but I didn't want to do that. So it's quite short but at least it's something.**

**Ch. 11 Darkness Within &amp; Without **

**(CLARE)**

"I'm going to get ready for bed and then you can have the washroom," Adam says getting off the sofa after turning off the TV.

"Okay," I nod.

Adam goes into the washroom and I almost go into my little room to get my pajamas but I see a shadow move outside. I know it's not Fitz so I run over and turn on the porch light, I pull back the curtain a little to make sure the door is locked. When I pull the curtain back I release a breath when I see that it's Eli, and instead of locking the door I open it a little.

"Eli what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," he replies.

"Can't it wait until tomorrow at school?"

"No please Clare I need to talk to you it's important. Please just for a moment," Eli begs.

"Alright just for a moment," I reply stepping back so he can come inside.

"No outside, it's a private conversation I don't want Adam or especially Drew to hear. It will only take a moment," Eli says with an urgently insistent tone. I step through the sliding glass door and close it behind me, shivering a little I'm out in the crisp night air. "You're cold, we can talk in my car it will be warmer in there," Eli says and I nod. We walk to his car and he opens the car door for me and I get in. Eli goes around to the driver's side turning on the car. "To get the heater running," he tells me and I nod but I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I want to get to back to the house.

"What did you need to talk to me about Eli?" I question.

"I like you Clare," Eli says.

"I like you too Eli," I reply slowly.

"I need you Clare, I love you," Eli tells me.

"Eli I think we need to talk about this tomorrow," I say trying to open the door only to find it locked. As soon as I try to open the door Eli puts the car in drive and starts to drive off. "Eli stop the car and let me out," I assert.

He doesn't say a word just keeps driving, he's going the speed limit and even stops at the stop sign but I still want to get out of the car. I keep begging him to let me out but he doesn't say anything. When he stops at the stoplight at the intersection that leads to DeGrassi I try to open my door again. It still won't open but I hear a sudden crack and crashing sound and look over to see the window on Eli's side has been broken and Eli is fighting with Fitz. Afraid that Eli will step on the gas I shift to what I hope is park and turn off the car. I drop the keys on the seat next to me and when Fitz slams Eli's head into the steering wheel and I scream as Eli goes limp.

"He's just unconscious are you okay?" Fitz asks opening Eli's door. He kind of shoves Eli aside and helps me out of the car.

"I'm okay, are you sure Eli's okay?" I question.

"He might have a headache but he'll be okay I just wanted to get him unconscious so he'd stop fighting back and couldn't hurt you," Fitz says just as a car pulls up and I look behind me to see Drew and Adam hopping out of the car. I expect Fitz to leave but he doesn't, he stays with his arm around me.

"What happened are you alright?" Adam asks.

"You must be Dark Hood?" Drew questions looking at Fitz.

"I'm okay, we need to call Eli's parents or an ambulance," I remark and then Eli groans and begins to regain consciousness.

"What happened? Where did you go?" Adam questions.

"Eli came to the house insistent that he talk to me right away. He wanted to speak in private so I stepped outside but it was cold so we got in his car. He turned on the heater we talked a moment but when I tried to get out of the car I found it locked. Eli began driving and then when he stopped Fitz broke the window. They st…"

"You're Fitz?" Drew exclaims.

"Yeah nice to meet you Drew," Fitz replies holding out his gloved hand out and Drew shakes it.

"You too," Drew replies slowly.

"They started to fight and I…" I'm cut off again but not by Drew by the screeching of Eli's tires as he drives away very fast. We all watch Eli speed off and then we all let out a simultaneous breath.

"I'll call his dad and make sure he makes it home," Adam says.

"We should get home before Mom notices we're gone. You need a lift somewhere Fitz?" Drew offers while Adam steps away and gets out his phone.

"No thanks I can get home," Fitz replies.

"Thanks for coming to the rescue," Drew comments cocking his head a little like he's trying to see through shadow covering Fitz's face.

Fitz just nods and starts walking toward the ravine. Adam seems to still be on the phone, Drew puts his hand at my back and we begin walking to the car when another car pulls up. Owen and Bianca get out of his car and walk over to us.

"I guess you found her," Owen remarks.

"Actually Fitz found her," Drew says.

"Fitz was still with me when they pulled up, I was telling them what happened and said Fitz's name, Drew figured it out," I explain.

"Don't tell anyone about him," Owen instructs Drew.

"Wouldn't know what to say anyway, Clare's secret admirer superhero is a kid that went missing after a fire at his place? Yeah I'm sure people would believe that. I'm just happy he saved Clare, I'm sure he's done it before, he saved Adam too."

"Me too, he's saved all of us at one time or another and Owen and I just found out he was even alive," Bianca remarks as Adam joins us again.

"Eli's dad said he made it home and they'll take him to the hospital," Adam tells us rejoining the group.

"What the hell happened? Fitz takes off saying you're in trouble and when I call Drew he says you're missing," Owen comments. I explain everything from the beginning ending with Fitz knocking Eli out against the steering wheel.

"What did you tell Eli's parents?" Owen asks Adam.

"That he hit his head and needed to go to a doctor. I wasn't sure what else to say other than he insisted on driving home, which he kind of did by driving off," Adam replies.

"We should all get home we'll see you guys tomorrow," Drew says and Owen nods. We say goodnight, Owen and Bianca get back in his car, the three of us get in Drew's car and we drive home. We go into the basement and Drew locks the door. "Eli is dangerous I want you both to stay away from him," Drew informs us when we're both home.

"His behavior is erratic but…" Adam begins when Drew cuts him off.

"But nothing he basically kidnapped Clare tonight something is wrong with him and I don't want either of you being a casualty because he's having an attack of crazy. I mean it stay away from him, especially you Clare you seem to set him off, you're lucky Fitz got there when he did."

"Yes Dad," Adam says in a mocking tone and Drew shoots him a look. "You okay Clare?"

"He didn't hurt me but I'm not tired anymore," I reply.

"Let's watch a movie," Adam suggests and I nod.

Adam puts a movie on and we watch together, I watch the movie but I'm really not paying attention I'm thinking about Eli and Fitz. I'm worried about Eli something is definitely wrong with him. By the end of the movie we're all tired and finally do go to bed but I have trouble getting to sleep. When my alarm goes off I feel like I barely slept but I still get up. I eat a small breakfast and drink some coffee, when we arrive at school the three of us go inside to our lockers. Bianca and Owen arrive a few minutes later; Drew greets Bianca with a kiss. We hang out until the bell, mostly talking about last night. Adam tries to call Eli but he doesn't answer. He's not in first period either so he must be staying home today. I'm still thinking about Eli when the lunch bell rings, Adam and I walk out to the courtyard and sit at the picnic tables. Drew, Owen and Bianca joining us a moment later.

"You okay? You're not eating," Drew says elbowing me lightly. I didn't realize I hadn't been eating I was spacing out and thinking about Eli and Fitz still.

"Sorry just thinking," I reply.

"About Eli or Fitz?" Owen asks.

"Both," I admit.

"But you're not going anywhere near Eli again right?" Drew states more than asks.

"I do have classes with him," I remind him.

"Outside of class," Drew adds and I roll my eyes.

"I'm gonna use the washroom I'll be back," I tell them getting up.

"I'll go with you," Bianca says getting up as well. "I'm guessing it's not just Eli's attempted kidnapping that's on your mind?" Bianca questions as we walk inside.

"His behavior is concerning, he needs help I know that. He's scaring me but I'm still worried about him. I care about him but I don't want to be with him, not the way I want to be with Fitz. Only I can't be with Fitz the way I want to be with Fitz," I sigh.

We stop talking once we're in the washroom because there are other girls in here. When we start walking back to the table I can feel Fitz watching us and I smile knowing that he's close by. We return to the table and I eat a little. After lunch Owen and I have our spare period which we always spend together.

"You still going to save a dance for Eli?" Owen inquires.

"I did promise, he can't do much to me in a dance with the rest of the school."

"Fitz said he'd try to come to the dance," Owen tells me.

"He won't come to the dance not even for me; he won't let anyone see him."

"There's surgeries, have you told him that?"

"Reconstructive surgeries can only do so much and they could make things worse, not to mention they cost a lot of money which Fitz doesn't have."

"Yeah but we could try, if he looked normal he could come back. We'd have our friend back and you could be with him," Owen says.

"It's more than just that Owen I don't think he wants to be part of this world again."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this world betrayed him, he knew almost nothing but pain here from what I know. His mother turned her back on him, let his stepdad and stepbrother treat him like nothing and beat him. His face was cut and then cauterized by them and then the fire was set. He was horribly burned and nearly died. He fled the hospital afraid of his stepfather and found a new family that took him in and took care of him. He doesn't need to come back to our society to have you and Bianca and I because he already does. Not in the way we'd all like I'm sure but you know he's alive, you know he's been watching out for us, he'll talk to you and Bianca. I get an occasional date and some time with him and he is still a part of his society and world where they accept him and he lives without fear."

Owen looks thoughtful for a moment, then sad, then sort of happy and then seems content. He returns to doing his homework and I go back to mine. We spend the rest of the period doing homework and when the bell rings we go inside and meet the others at Media Studies. I feel Fitz watching us in class and I smile again, I always feel better when he's around.

"I'm going to stick around and watch the guys at practice," Bianca comments when the last bell of the day has rung.

"We'll see you at home Drew," Adam says and we wave to the three of them as Adam and I begin walking home. When we're down the street from the school I stop and Adam looks at me.

"You may as well walk home with us, Adam already knows, his parents aren't home and no one will see you under your hood," I call to Fitz knowing he's close by.

"Hey Fitz," Adam grins when Fitz steps out of the shadows.

"Hi Adam, guess I'm walking you guys home," Fitz remarks.

I smile and link my arm with Fitz, he's between us and walks us home but he stops at the door to the basement. Adam opens the sliding glass door and Fitz takes his arm from mine.

"You could come in, Audra has a school board meeting and Omar is never home before six," I tell Fitz.

"No I should go, I'll come back tonight even if Bianca is here," Fitz tells me brushing a curl behind my ear.

Fitz walks to the corner of the yard and disappears into the shadows once more. I stay there a second watching the shadows before going inside.

"You alright?" Adam questions.

"No not really," I sigh slumping onto the sofa. "The boy I want to be with I can't be with and the boy I can be with turns into a monster around me."

"Clare that's not true," Adam says sitting next to me, "Eli's behavior is not caused by anything you do."

"Maybe not but Drew's right I set him off, it's probably better for all of us if I keep my distance. I like Eli in a lot of ways and I could truly be with him but when I'm around him he turns scary. He looks so innocent, so sweet and cute but he has such a blackness inside. Fitz lives in shadow but he has such a light in him and kindness and courage, even after all he's been through but he looks like something from a horror movie. But it's only when I think about his face, I mean really focus on the way he looks that I even remember how he looks. When I think about Fitz I usually picture his face mostly in shadow only seeing his eyes and his smile."

**There will be no update in November as it is One Shot Month. However December is Short Story Month and all short stories will get three updates. This will next be updated Wednesday December 9****th**** either starting at school the next day or the dance.**


	12. Make Your Lungs Hold Breath Inside

**One Shot Month was fun and I knocked several one shots off my list, of course I plotted five new ones but that's besides the point. Next year though I think I'll have One Shot Month in September instead of a One Shot Week that month. That way there won't be a two month gap for long stories.**

**So I realized today that I left out a story in the poll. If you go back to the poll on my page on the DeGrassi Saviors site you'll notice that **_**Go &amp; Hide &amp; Runaway **_**has been added to the poll. There is already a 2****nd**** chapter of **_**Go &amp; Hide &amp; Runaway **_**planned for March but if you want more than a single follow up chapter you should vote for it. The poll itself will come down on Sunday.**

**Enjoy the chapter tonight; it's a bit on the short side sorry guys. We're moving offices on Monday so we're having to pack up our current offices which we've been in for more than twenty years and there's a lot to pack. On top of that we have all our normal work to do so needless to say it's been a crazy week. The next few nights will probably be short chapters but the ones on the weekend should be long.**

**Ch. 12 Make Your Lungs Hold Breath Inside**

**(ADAM)**

Mom parks at school and both Clare and I see Eli's hearse in the parking lot, she bites her lip worried about seeing him again. We get out of the van and walk up the steps to school, Drew was sitting in the very back with Bianca and I don't think he saw Eli's car. Clare and I depart from Drew and Bianca to go to our lockers. Eli is waiting for Clare at her locker and when she sees him her pace slows down but she doesn't stop walking completely.

"Are you okay?" Clare asks him cautiously.

"I had a minor concussion, my parents kept me home and I have to take it easy for a couple of days," Eli replies and looks down. "I'm sorry about the other night I didn't mean to scare you it's just that…"

"HEY," Drew yells cutting Eli off. Eli looks up and Drew storms over along with Owen and Bianca. "You stay away from them," Drew growls shoving Eli against the locker.

"Easy Drew he had a concussion," I warn my brother.

"Keep away from them or you'll have another one," Drew snarls.

"Get off of me," Eli hisses back shoving at Drew. Drew tenses up and the two look like they're about to fight so I step between them.

"Drew calm down don't fight you could give him another concussion."

"You kidnapped Clare you're lucky all you have is a concussion," Drew growls.

"I didn't kidnap her I j…"

"You tricked her into getting into your car and drove off with her that's kidnapping," Drew replies.

"The bells going to ring in a minute and the three of us have homeroom together," Clare speaks up.

"Fine we'll walk you," Drew replies keeping Clare at more than an arm's reach from Eli. I'm not sure what Drew actually thinks Eli can do to her at school with everyone but I guess he feels better keeping Clare at a distance from Eli. "Outside of class you keep away from them," Drew warns Eli.

"I'm not sure I'll be safe in vehicle maintenance with him next period," Eli comments when Drew, Owen and Bianca are gone.

"He won't start a fight with you in class. He's just worried and you can't really blame him," I comment.

"I just wanted to talk to Clare; I still need to talk to her. Have lunch with me Clare please," Eli begs.

"I can't Eli," she says softly.

"Clare I just…"

"Eli you need to let things settle down, give Clare some space and time and give Drew a few days to calm down," I advise him.

Eli doesn't say anything else as Miss Dawes starts class, we're paired off to read to each other and write about it. I get paired with Eli and Clare is paired with a girl in the front row so Clare gets up from her desk.

"Do you want to read first or write first?" I ask Eli.

"Adam you know I'd never hurt Clare don't you? You know I'd never hurt you."

"I'll read first," I reply avoiding his question.

"Adam I wouldn't ever hurt Clare," he states firmly.

"But you have Eli and you've scared her and me. You've gotten mad over the smallest things and when it comes to Clare you have a tendency to lose your head."

"It's just because I care about her so deeply," Eli tells me with a tone that's begging and desperate. I've never seen his temper the way Clare has but I've seen the aftermath, however when he's like this it's hard to imagine that he can be that monster.

"If you really care about her then you need to back off, give her space. Give both of us space for a while until Drew calms down. As long as all Drew can think about is you kidnapping our sister th…"

"She's not your sister," Eli interrupts.

"She lives with us and we consider her family and my parents have started looking into adoption she's our sister. That's not my point, my point is in the last couple of weeks you've been," I pause thinking of an appropriate word that won't offend him, "volatile and unpredictable. Drew is not going to let you near us again until he knows he can trust you."

"How long do I have to keep my distance?" He asks.

"Clare promised to save you a dance right? The dance is next week, back off for a week and talk to Clare at the dance. Maybe by then Drew will have calmed down and it will give you some time to sort out whatever gets you so hot-headed when it comes to Clare."

"Yeah okay I'll wait until the dance," Eli sighs and we get to work.

When class gets out Clare and I walk to chemistry. A few people saw or heard about Drew's confrontation with Eli in the hallway so there's a few whispers.

"Come you're eating with us," Drew informs us picking us up from class with Owen and Bianca.

"How long is he going to be like this?" Clare whispers to me as we follow them to the caf.

"Eli promised to back off for a bit just give Drew a couple days to cool down," I whisper back. We enter the caf and Clare suddenly relaxes and smiles.

"We should eat outside," she says.

"Why?" Bianca questions.

"Fitz is here, he's watching us. If we eat outside he can eat with us," Clare replies.

"We'll take our food outside and I'll get some extra food in case Fitz is hungry," Owen comments.

"And what if he's not?" Bianca questions.

"Then we'll eat it," Drew replies and Bianca laughs.

We all get food and begin walking toward the front but Clare stops us and we walk to the back. Under the bleachers at the soccer field s figure stands in a dark hooded sweatshirt and we all know it's Fitz.

"We got you some lunch," Owen tells him.

"Thanks," Fitz says. He sounds like he's smiling but he remains under his hood even here with us.

We sit and eat on the bleachers; Fitz always stays in the shadow of his hood. Clare sits right next to Fitz, even though he wears gloves on his hands and he hides under his hood Clare smiles the whole time we're with him. I know she cares about Eli but she loves Fitz, I see it now in her eyes and her smile and her relaxed demeanor just being around him like she hasn't a care in the world simply because he's nearby. It makes me smile to see her like that and while I can't see his face I'm sure he returns the affection. While I'm smiling over their shared, if unspoken, love I become aware that we're being watched. Fitz is sitting with us so it's not him, I look around and see Eli leaning against the school and watching us. He's keeping his distance but he's also watching Clare and Fitz very closely. He doesn't know that it's Fitz of course all Eli can see is Clare sitting very close to an unknown boy in a dark hoodie. He does not look happy but he's not about to come over here with all of us sitting here. Eli leaves after about ten minutes of watching and Fitz leaves us before the bell, disappearing into the shadows like he has the power to suddenly become shadow. I'm sure he'll watch Owen and Clare on their spare period or even hang out with them for their spare. I have drama next and it's a class I have with Eli and he's already there when I reach class.

"Who is he?" Eli questions as soon as we're in class.

"Who?" I ask back feigning ignorance on his question but I know exactly what he's asking.

"The fourth guy eating lunch with you guys and hiding out in the back of the school. Wait was that her secret admirer? The one that put all those flowers on her locker? Who is he Adam? I promised to back off but not to have her fall into the arms of another guy."

"We were having lunch with a friend of Owen's calm down Eli. You agreed to give her space so Drew wouldn't take your head off and you can't stop Clare from being with someone else if it happens," I tell him.

He gives me a look but doesn't say anything and we sit down. Eli doesn't say anything else but when we walk to media studies together he gives Clare a look. It's a bit of a scary look but she doesn't notice since she's talking to Owen. Drew does notice though, he sees Eli looking at Clare the way he is and Drew tenses up. At least they don't say anything or hit each other or anything and we all sit down in class.

When school is out Owen and Drew have football practice and Bianca drives Clare and I home. When we walk around to the basement Fitz steps out of the shadows, Clare smiles and he comes into the basement with us. His hood remains up but he sits with us while we do homework. He even stays when Drew and Owen get there after football practice. There's very little talking we're just six teenagers hanging out and it feels right. When we here Mom come home Fitz says he has to go and Owen decides to leave to so they leave together. Fitz hung out in the basement with us for almost four hours and I hope it's a step to him becoming comfortable with all of us and not just Clare.

**(CLARE)**

"Hey Space Case," Bianca says putting her hand on my shoulder and I jump. "You're the only girl I know that could have two boys be crazy over her and be so preoccupied and sad over it," Bianca comments.

"Crazy being the optimal word there," I comment as Bianca turns around so I can zip her dress.

"Well Eli's been keeping his distance right? Just longing desperate looks in the hallway," Bianca says turning around again now that I have her zipped up.

"And a few notes in my locker but don't tell Drew," I reply and she smiles.

It's been a week since Drew nearly punched out Eli in the hallway and told him to stay away. Eli has done so for the most part, except for class and a few very apologetic notes filled with pleading for me to be with him because he needs me, Eli has kept his distance. Fitz has become at least somewhat more comfortable with Owen, Bianca, Drew and Adam. He still won't take his hood down when they're around but he doesn't run from them anymore, he comes to see me when Bianca's sleeping over. She'll let him in and they sometimes talk a few moments then Fitz will come back and hold me all night then leave before we have to get up. He eats lunch with us often and when he's not waiting for Adam and I, and usually Bianca, when we arrive home he's watching Drew and Owen at football. Fitz often follows them home and has even slept at Owen's a couple of nights allowing the two to catch up. I hope that soon Fitz will feel he can be without his hoodie and gloves when he's with all of us. Even if he's not though I'm happy that Owen and Bianca know he's alive and that Fitz is talking with them and sharing at least a small part of his life with his oldest friends and his new ones.

"Are you worried about seeing Eli tonight or Fitz?" Bianca asks.

"Both," I sigh getting up from my desk where I was doing my makeup so I can get my dress on. "I promised Eli a dance and I will still dance with him but I'm afraid he'll want more than one. Or he'll want to talk or something and as much as I care about Eli I don't care about him the way I do Fitz. I also don't want Drew to lose it when he sees me dancing with Eli. And I'm hoping and anticipating that Fitz will somehow be there tonight. I know it probably isn't fair of me to hope that he becomes more and a more a part of my world but I can't help it."

"You're not the only one that wants it we all do and I don't think it's unfair of you but I'm also biased on that part. Just have fun tonight, Eli gets one dance with you and we'll make sure that's all he gets but I'll keep Drew from killing too. You know that Fitz will be there watching us even if he doesn't come into the dance," Bianca says zipping up my dress.

Drew, Adam and Owen come down the stairs and we all get in the minivan. Drew drives us to the school and we all go into the dance. The boys are all dressed pretty much the same in black slacks or jeans, Owen has a white dress shirt and leather jacket, Drew a pink dress shirt and Adam has a black t-shirt and a yellow vest. Bianca is wearing a short, black, sleeveless dress and I have a purple and green jewel tone dress with an empire waist and thick strap sleeves.

We walk into the dance it's already filled with kids and chaperones. We look around a little at everyone that's here. Owen leaves us to go talk to some of the guys on the team and Bianca drags Drew onto the dance floor. As soon as Bianca and Drew are dancing Eli appears.

"Shall we have that dance now?" Eli asks.

"Uh sure," I nod and look at Adam, "I'll catch up with you in a little bit."

"Yeah I'm going to go talk to the guys," Adam says.

Eli holds out his hand and we walk out to the dance floor but Eli leads us as far away from Drew and Bianca as possible. He takes us to the very corner of the dance floor and we're practically under the bleachers. Eli puts his hand at the small of my back and takes my hand while I put mine on his shoulder.

"I've missed you Clare, all I've thought about all week is you."

"That's sweet," I reply smiling a little. It is flattering but also a little frightening.

"I want you to be my girlfriend Clare. You're my muse, my everything, my reason for living you have to be with me I need you more than anyone."

"Eli I…that's…you're very sweet and I like you but I can't be your girlfriend. I care about you Eli but you need help and when we're together I set off something in you."

"The only thing you set off in me is how deeply I'm in love with you. I need you Clare; don't you understand how much I need you?"

"I'll still be your friend Eli but we can't be together. I think I should go find Adam now," I comment trying to step away from him but he holds me tightly. "Eli let me go," I assert but he just tightens his grip.

"Hey that was one dance now let go of her or we'll make you," Drew asserts coming over with Owen.

Eli looks at them and releases me, Drew puts his arm around my shoulders and we walk to the bleachers. Bianca is there with Adam and Owen goes to get me some water.

"Are you okay?" Drew asks.

"I'm fine; I'm more worried about Eli he needs help Drew. Something is not right with him," I comment as Owen hands me a water bottle.

"Which is precisely why I don't want you hanging out with him or anywhere near him that isn't class," Drew replies.

I don't entirely agree or disagree with Drew so I choose to not say anything. After drinking some water and sitting on the bleachers a few minutes Adam and I get up to dance. After dancing to a couple of songs I feel Fitz, I know he's close and I want to be with him. He won't come into the dance but the rest of the school is empty and I'm sure if I go out he'll meet me.

"I'll be back in a bit," I tell Adam and he nods.

I leave the auditorium and begin walking toward the boiler room, I stop when I see him coming toward me. This hallway in this part of the school at this hour is totally dark but I know he's there and I know it's Fitz.

"I'm glad you're here," I grin.

"You know I'm always watching," he replies stepping toward me a little more.

"Dance with me," I request taking his hand. "Without these," I say taking the gloves off his hands and I tuck them into the pocket on his hoodie. "And without this, we're in total darkness and it's only the two of us," I point out taking his hood down.

"If you keep going I'll be dancing with you naked soon," he laughs taking my hand and I bite my lip.

"We'll do naked dancing somewhere a little more private some other time," I comment putting my hand on his shoulder. He puts his arm around me and I lay my head on his chest as we begin swaying despite the fact that there's no music.

"You should go enjoy the rest of the dance," Fitz tells me after a few moments.

"I want to spend the time with you," I reply still holding him.

"I'll be there," Fitz whispers back.

"Not the way I want you to be," I respond letting go of him and Fitz steps away from me hanging his head. He puts his hoodie back up and I hear him putting his gloves back on. I bite my lip in shame and put my hand on his arm, "I'm sorry I didn't mean it I know you'll be there watching I just wish…"

"I promise you a dance, one just for us in a beautiful place on our next date," Fitz says cutting me off. He brushes a curl back from my face and lightly kisses my temple. "For now you need to get back to the dance before Drew starts to worry. I'm going home to grab some food and I'll be back to watch you all at the dance. Every time I see you smile I'll be smiling too."

I roll my lip between my teeth and smile; I hug him tightly before I walk back to the auditorium. Navigating the dark hallways with a smile on my face, when I get near the memorial garden I can hear the music from the dance.

"I won't let him take you away from me," Eli says suddenly stepping in front of me from the darkness and it startles me. I step back with a gasp and a hand to my racing heart.

"Eli what are you doing out here?"

"I won't let him take you from me Clare, you're my girlfriend! Mine!"

"Eli you need help and I need to get back to the dance."

"No you are my girlfriend and I won't let him take you," Eli hisses grabbing my arms.

"Eli let me go," I demand pushing him away from me and then my heel breaks at the same time as I manage to push him away a bit. The combination of forces sends me falling back, a breath is strangled in my throat and I hit the floor with a hard thud! There's a second of pain and I feel the breath knocked from my lungs and then it all goes dark.

I don't know how long I was out but when I begin to cling to consciousness once more I'm aware that I'm sitting up. Well sort of I seem to be slumped; I hear a noise a steady sort of humming and music but not from the dance. My eyes open and I sit up fully, it takes a second for my eyes to focus but I realize I'm in a car.

"No one will ever take you from me again," Eli says and I look over at him. He's gripping the steering wheel tightly, he looks maniacal and I know the instant I see his eyes sanity has left him. We're in his car and he suddenly begins pressing on the accelerator.

"ELI WHAT ARE YOU DOING LET ME OUT OF THIS CAR!" I scream trying to get out of the car.

"You're mine Clare, mine forever," Eli replies calmly as he pushes down on the gas and the car is now going at 80 kilometers.

He takes my hand and veers the steering wheel so that we're aimed at a building! My heart races pounding in my chest, I can't breathe, my eyes widen looking at the brick wall that's sure to be my headstone as we fly toward it. Time slows down and speeds up all at once.

"ELI STOP!" I scream desperately in one last dire attempt to drive some sanity back into him and keep him from killing us both.

It proves futile as he only floors the gas pedal and squeezes my hand; I shut my eyes tightly as the wall and the car are a millisecond from meeting each other. A tear crawls from my eye and I hold my breath anticipating impact.

**Aren't I mean? Now aren't you glad a terrible cliffhanger like this comes in short story month when the next update is only a few days away? The next update will be Monday December 14****th**** and will probably begin in Fitz's pov.**


	13. Time Keeps Dragging On & On

**The poll on my page is down now everything will get at least one more chapter. I will begin plotting them over Christmas break and schedule them beginning in April. Taken Some Bad Times will be the first to get a follow up chapter as it got an astounding 98 votes! Thank you everyone for voting and I'm glad everyone enjoyed one shot month.**

**Please note that My Boys, My Girls, My Lovers Four may not go up tomorrow. See A/N at the end of this chapter.**

**Ch. 13 Time Keeps Dragging On &amp; On**

**(FITZ)**

I walk away from Clare headed for the boiler room and home so that I can have dinner. I'm a few feet into the boiler room and nearing the door to the belly when I freeze, Clare is nervous and it quickly turns to fear. I turn around and run back to get to her and then I can't feel her anymore, my heart stops but I realize she must be unconscious and I begin running again. I get through the front doors just in time to see Eli driving away with Clare slumped over in his passenger seat. I run after them, racing as fast as I can to catch up with the car. After a moment Clare awakens and I feel her fear. The terror that grips her when she wakes up and realizes Eli has taken her captive is nearly paralyzing to me. I feel her panic, her horror and the slim amount of hope that are all broiling in her.

I can't see the car anymore but I keep running, as fast and as hard as I can. Filled with adrenaline because of Clare's fear and mine I run following the car. I know the direction the car went because I can feel Clare. The more she begins to panic the faster I run and then I hear a sound that will haunt me. The sound of Clare's scream and a sound like an explosion and I can no longer feel Clare! My heart pounds so hard I can feel it rattling my rib cage and now it's the only sound I hear, the world is silent except for the sounds of my heart. I don't even stop running when I see Eli's antique hearse sticking halfway out of a building. As I run toward the crash I hope to the very pit of my soul that the irony of him having a hearse doesn't mean it holds two dead bodies now.

I race to the car but I can't see anything the front is in the building and a cascade of bricks on top of it. I run to the back and break open the door, there's no barrier between where the coffins would be and the seats. I scramble to Clare, I can hardly see her in the near pitch black but when I feel for a pulse she has one, it's thin and weak but it's there and I also feel blood on her arm. She needs help or she's going to die, she doesn't have her purse so I feel around in Eli's pockets and find his cell phone. He groans when I pull it out so I know he's alive too, I press emergency call and wait for the operator.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"There's been a car crash at DeGrassi Street and Dundas a car went into a building and two people are badly hurt. Please you have to help her," I beg.

"Emergency vehicles are on the way are they both breathing?"

"Yes but they're badly hurt and I smell gas, shit I smell gas!" No sooner have I said it than I see a flame in the engine. "It's on fire the car's on fire," I tell the operator in immense panic.

"Okay rescue crews are three minutes out if you can do so stabilize their head and neck and get them out of the car," the operator tells me.

"Okay but I have to put the phone down," I respond and hang up.

I use the phone to light my surroundings so I can see. I find textbooks in the back of the car and a shirt of Eli's that I quickly cut into strips with my knife. Working as rapidly as I can I immobilize Clare's neck and head by setting one of the textbooks behind her head. I use two strips of the cut up shirt and bind one end at her forehead and the other at her shoulders. It's not perfect but it should keep her head and neck from moving too much. The flames are getting closer and bigger, for a moment they become all that I see, for a moment I'm back in my house, trapped by flame and thinking I might die, every scar on my body that came from that fire begins to hurt.

"Mark?" Clare whispers weakly. Her voice, her weak and desperate but angelic voice pulls me from my nightmarish memory and my only thought is once again to save her.

"I'm here your safe," I tell her looking at her door. It's not blocked but it's bent and doesn't want to open. I kick it open and get out making sure not to hurt Clare. I carefully lift her up getting her out of the car and set her down to unlock and open the door. I set Clare on the sidewalk and look back at the car.

I don't like Eli but he is still trapped and if I don't do something he'll get swallowed by flame. I hear the sirens approaching and I run back to the car pulling open Eli's door. I reach back grabbing another textbook and a strip of Eli's shirt but the flames are getting bigger and the car might explode soon. I tie a piece of the shirt around his forehead and the textbook. I don't have time to secure it again. I begin to pull him out of the car and get licked by a flame. I growl at the pain and yank Eli from the car as hard as I can to get him out. When I'm holding him I run back to the sidewalk. The sirens are close now and the flames are beginning to engulf the car.

"Hold on Clare, help is on the way, hang on I will be with you and I will come see you later," I tell her kneeling next to her I move the hair out of her face but now I can see her injuries. A bump on the head, her face, chest and arms severely lacerated by glass, her right eye is swollen and it looks very strange, I want to look at all her injuries and see how bad it is but the sirens are here, emergency vehicles have stopped and I don't want them to catch me here. So I take off running, the closest tunnel is in the park and I run there but I stop before I get to the tunnel taking out the cell phone once again I look through contacts.

"What is it Eli?" Adam asks when he answers the phone.

"It's Fitz. Eli took Clare from the dance and he crashed his car into a building. An ambulance is there but they are both badly hurt. She's…she's so hurt Adam, I don't know how bad it is."

"I'll get Drew, Owen and Bianca we'll leave now. Where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm going home, I'll try to get to the hospital tonight I have Eli's phone because I used it to call 911. I have to go," I tell him and hang up.

I walk through the tunnels to get home, the pain from the burn is growing and the more painful it becomes the more I remember being trapped in the fire. The searing pain, the fear and the thought that I was going to die it all comes rushing back until it's overwhelming. I stop walking, all I can see is flames, I feel as if I'm breathing smoke and my body is burning. I sink down against the wall struggling to breathe and all I feel is pain.

"Fitz? Fitz what's wrong?" Ren asks.

"Quickly let's get him back to Doc," I hear Nox say and he picks me up because I cannot move.

"Doc we think he's hurt," Ren says as they carry me into Doc's room. Nox sets me down and Doc looks at me.

"Fitz your arm how did you burn it?" Doc asks me and then looks back at Ren. "Help me get the sweatshirt off and be careful of the burn."

"Clare is hurt, Eli crashed his car I think he was trying to kill them both. The car caught on fire," I reply as they take my sweatshirt off. "She called me Mark," I tell Doc with a smile, "It was beautiful."

"Let me look at your arm Fitz you're lucky that most of what was burned was already scar tissue," Doc says.

He treats my arm and wraps it in a fresh bandage, Sophie takes my sweatshirt to be repaired and Doc brings me something to eat. I still have Eli's cell phone but of course there's no signal down here so I can't call Adam to check on Clare. After I eat I fall asleep, I don't mean to, I wanted to go check on Clare, but after all that's happened tonight I'm tired and my body needs rest so I fall asleep. I dream about Clare being hurt and in the hospital near death and wake up after only a couple of hours. My hoodie has been patched and I put it back on, I don't feel the pain of the burn as much now and my only thought is to get to the hospital and see Clare. It's easy to get into the hospital and no one pays too much attention to me since I'm not hurt. I am skulking around the halls a bit but no one seems to notice or they don't think I'm a threat. After looking at the directory and walking down the hall a ways I find Clare's room, it's dark and she's not awake but I knew she wasn't awake because I would have felt her. Clare's not alone in the room because Adam is her but he's the only one; he's asleep in one of the chairs at her bedside. I open the door carefully and go into the room; I sit on the bed and look at Clare my heart sinking slightly at the sight of her.

She's hooked up to three monitors and two or three machines, there are so many wires and tubes she looks as if she were in a mad scientist workshop. Her left arm is on a splint and in a sling, her neck has a brace on it and her right leg is elevated with a cast on it. Her face is covered by bandages and she has a tube in her mouth to breathe for her. In many ways it reminds me of being in the hospital after the fire. I remember waking up in the hospital covered in bandages, hooked up to wires and monitors and an oxygen mask on.

"You saved her life," Adam says and I look over at him as he sits up.

"Is she okay? She's going to live isn't she?"

"The accident was pretty bad but it could have been a lot worse. If she hadn't been pulled from the car she would have burned to death. She had a head injury and her face was cut up from the glass when the windshield shattered, so were her arms and chest. She has some internal injuries too, broken ribs and internal bleeding. She was in surgery for several hours and she needs more surgeries for various injuries but she wasn't stable enough. They put Clare in a medically induced coma so she could heal a little and stabilize so they can do more surgeries. Everyone else will be back tomorrow morning but I knew you'd come and I didn't want to leave her. They're saying Clare and Eli were pulled from the car by an anonymous hero."

"Good let them think that. I should have stayed with her or walked her back to the dance."

"This is not your fault Fitz, Eli kept away from Clare but he's been spying on her all week he probably saw you two together. I think…I think he was trying to kill them both so that Clare could never be with anyone else. He was more dangerous than any of us knew," Adam says with a sad voice and regretful sigh.

I want to hold Clare's hand, I want to hold her but with all the wires and tubes it's impossible. All I can do is sit on the edge of the bed and watch her and that's what I do, sit and watch her all night. Adam falls asleep again but I stay in the room watching Clare until the first rays of dawn begin to peak over the horizon. I can't kiss her but I lean down to whisper in her ear.

"Stay strong Clare you have to stay strong and get better. I'll come back tonight and remember that I am always with you."

I get off her bed carefully, pulling my hood up all the way and leave the hospital. Returning home I fall asleep again as soon as my head hits the pillow.

**(CLARE)**

"Fitz?" I whisper but my voice cracks, my throat is dry and the whisper is lost. I want to open my eyes but something covers them and they won't open. My heart begins to race as I remember the car wreck, I feel alone and cold and trapped in the dark. I want to scream, I want to move but I can't seem to do either and the harder I try the more frustrated I become and tears begin to pour from my eyes. Little saltwater beads of frustration and anger and fear flowing from my eyes and down my cheeks then getting absorbed with whatever covers my eyes.

"I'm here you're safe," Fitz tells me taking my hand and I instantly calm down.

The very second his hand touches mine my heart rate slows down. I no longer feel cold, alone or trapped in the dark but warm and enveloped with love and light. I release a breath and squeeze his hand as much as I can. I try to move my other hand but I can't, I want Fitz told hold me but when I try to speak the whispers become lost.

"It's okay you'll be okay but you're in the hospital. You were hurt very badly when Eli crashed his car. You shouldn't move you need to heal. Your face is covered in bandages you were cut by the glass but I'm here. I'm here every night, all night with you. You're not alone Clare. Audra is here with you during the day and usually Adam or Drew too."

I relax and sink into the bed a little; I become overwhelmed by exhaustion despite only being awake a few moments. I hold tight to Fitz's hand as I begin to drift to sleep again.

"Rest now I'm here," Fitz assures me and I fall asleep once again.

I have no idea how long I was asleep but when I wake up Fitz is gone. I know he's gone before the voices in the room speak.

"It's alright Clare we're here," Audra says.

"You're alright Clare, your oxygen mask is gone but you probably won't be able to speak right away," Adam tells me taking my hand.

"How…" my voice cracks and I choke on the word but it doesn't get lost. "How long…" it's all I can get out in a strangled voice but Adam understands.

"It's been ten days since the crash, they put you in a medically induced coma for most of it so you could heal, you're badly hurt," Adam says and I start to cry. Some of the tears are for the terrifying memory of the crash, some for how I'm hurt and others for the pure relief that I'm even alive.

"Bianca will come after school I'm sure, she usually does, and Drew and Owen will come after football practice, but we've asked your other friends to wait until you heal some more before they come see you. Your room is filled with flowers from people that want you to get better. I'm not sure I should tell you this just yet but I think it would be good for you to hear it might help. Your father has signed away custody and Omar and I have petitioned to adopt you," Audra tells me and I smile.

"Tired," I whisper overcome with exhaustion yet again.

"Good the more you rest the faster you'll get better," Adam says squeezing my hand.

I smile again but quickly succumb to sleep once more. It's a heavy dreamless sleep but I don't feel any pain.

"Adam?" I whisper as soon as I wake up.

"Right here, Mom went downstairs to get us some lunch and Bianca should be here in a couple of hours."

"Eli?" I ask. I don't want him to be dead but I want to know that something's being done about the fact that he kidnapped me and tried to kill us.

"He's alive," Adam tells me but there's something in his voice, a sort of pain. "He's in worse shape than you. He hit his head pretty hard during the crash and had some swelling in his brain. That's not the worst of it, either during the crash or when Fitz took Eli out of the car it broke Eli's spine," Adam tells me. I gasp biting my lip just slightly as I become saddened at the thought of Fitz having caused such an injury. "If it was Fitz that caused it he saved Eli's life. Only a few of us know it was Fitz but Eli's parents know that the mysterious hero that got both you out of the car kept you from burning alive in the car. Just like you Eli was cut up by the glass, and he also has a broken leg and some broken ribs. He'll live but he's still in a coma and they don't know how functional he'll be when he does wake up."

My breath trembles as more tears come, I feel pain for Eli and yet he brought it on himself. I shed a few tears of pain because I may never know Eli's reasons for taking me that night and trying to kill us, and I might never know why Eli had so much darkness inside of him.

"You should try to rest some more you'll have a lot more visitors this afternoon and they will be really happy to know you're awake," Adam tells me.

I nod as much as I can and try to take a deep breath but then hiss when that causes me pain. Adam presses a button and then I'm no longer in pain and I fall asleep once again. I wake up sometime later to the sound of more voices I'm able to pick out Drew's voice first but I know there are other people in the room.

"Drew," I call for him in a hoarse whisper.

"Right here, so are Adam, Owen and Bianca," Drew says and I feel him take my hand.

"Hey Clare it's good to have you awake finally," Bianca tells me.

"Yeah we've had over a week of listening to Drew griping about how he knew Eli was dangerous, and how Drew thinks he should have been watching you closer," Owen comments and I squeeze Drew's hand.

"How do you feel?" Adam asks.

"Tired, my head feels big, can't see, but nothing hurts," I tell them not a very eloquent sentence but my voice is getting stronger and my voice doesn't crack very much this time.

"That's because they have you hooked to morphine if you're in pain you just have to click the little button by your hand," Bianca informs me.

"I want the bandages off," I complain and stop for a breath, "I can't see."

"They need to stay on for a few more days and you'll need some more surgeries," Adam tells me.

I stay awake for about an hour so as they tell me what's been going on at school although they leave out any mention of Eli. I drift to sleep while Owen and Drew are telling me about the football game a few nights ago. I wake up briefly when Omar comes to see me after work and he tells me the adoption petition has been approved and is being fast tracked so that by the time I'm out of the hospital I will be a Torres. I fall asleep again while they all eat dinner and wake up later that night.

"Fitz," I smile knowing he's in the room.

"I'm here," he replies squeezing my hand.

"You'll stay all night won't you?"

"Until the dawn," he replies.

"I want you to lie with me and hold me."

"I want to hold you too but I can't you're hooked up to too many machines. I brought one of your favorite books I can read to you," he offers and I nod with a smile.

Fitz begins reading to me and after a couple of chapters and his soothing voice I fall asleep again. For the next few days I drift in and out of sleep, when I awaken during the day Audra is here and Adam is usually with her but sometimes Drew and even Bianca once. When the darkness comes and the parents have gone home Fitz comes. He stays all night with me, reading to me and holding my hand. On Friday morning Adam, Audra, Drew and Omar come to see me before I go back into surgery. I've already had four surgeries mostly for internal injuries. Today they have to do surgery on arm and my leg as well as some reconstructive surgeries of my face.

"Mom will be here all day and I'll come after school," Adam tells me.

"Owen, Bianca and I will come as soon as the football game is over," Drew says.

"You don't have to come I'll probably be sleeping," I reply.

"We want to be here and see you after surgery," Drew insists and I smile.

"Alright Clare time for surgery," the nurse says wheeling my gurney down the hall.

I'm taken to the surgery suite and a mask is put on me, they tell me to count backwards and I'm soon asleep because of the anesthesia. When I wake up again it's evening, I know by the sounds and the people in my hospital room. My eyes flutter but they're still covered by bandages. I move my fingers and make a groan then Adam takes my hand.

"We're here, all of us are here you've been out for hours," Adam tells me.

"Everything feels big," I whisper.

"That's because you had three simultaneous surgeries today and your body has been through a lot," Drew says.

"You should rest Honey don't talk too much," Audra says.

"Bandages," I complain trying to reach up and pull off the bandages.

"They have to stay on the doctor says they can come off on Sunday or Monday and that you should be able to go home Monday or Tuesday probably," Adam informs me. I try to nod but my head seems to be immobilized.

"How was the game?" I ask in a drowsy voice.

"Great we won," Drew tells me and I hear him smile, "now you should rest."

I've been asleep most of the day but I'm still quite tired and I drift to sleep while they talk. I wake up a few hours later it's late now the hospital is quieter and there's only one person in my room with me.

"Fitz," I whisper with a smile.

"Right here, how do you feel?" He says squeezing my hand a little.

"Sleepy and big. My head feels big. My arm and leg feel big."

"I'm sure they won't feel big for too long but you've got casts and bandages and medicine. Do you want me to read to you?" Fitz asks.

"Yes please."

Fitz begins reading to me and I visualize everything he says painting a world in my head. As much as I enjoy his reading and even though I slept most of the day unconscious or asleep I become tired after a couple of chapters and fall asleep to his reading. The weekend seems to drag on even though I have lots of visitors; all my regular visitors come to see during the weekend plus Alli, Jenna, Dave, Wes, K.C. and Connor all come to see me. Despite having plenty of company and being awake for most of it the weekend just seemed to take forever, I think because the doctor said I could get my bandages off today which is what I've been waiting for all day. Adam and Audra have been here all day and now everyone is here, well almost everyone. Bianca came after school, Drew and Owen after football practice and Omar after work. The doctor had them all leave the room so he could take my bandages off though.

"Alright Clare I'm going to start taking the bandages off. I've dimmed the lights in the room because your eyes haven't taken in light for a long time and they will be sensitive. The bandages over your eyes will be the last ones off," the doctor tells me and then I feel him begin unrolling the bandages from my face. "Alright Clare the other bandages are off now your eyes," he says and I feel another layer coming off. "Okay Clare last step I'm going to take the pads off your eyes. I want you to keep your eyes closed and when you're ready open then slowly and let them adjust to light around you. Your eyes weren't injured so they should readjust to the light fairly quickly but you had severe lacerations and some fractured bones around your eyes which is why they've been bandaged."

I nod and he takes off the very last layer, I keep my eyes closed and open them slowly. For a second all I see is shadows and then I begin to see my surroundings.

"Things are a little fuzzy but I can see," I inform the doctor.

"Good that's very good, your vision will get sharper but you haven't used your ocular muscles for a while."

"I need a mirror I want to see before everyone comes back in," I request.

The doctor gives me a hand mirror and I hold it up, a breath catches in my throat when I see my face. On the right side of my face the bone of my eye socket was fractured, it's been corrected by surgery but the sutures look awful and the way the bones were reconstructed doesn't look quite right. There's a healing cut from my temple down to my cheekbone. Other smaller cuts are on my forehead but a rather large one over my right eye that cuts through part of my eyebrow and just misses my eyelid cutting down the side of my nose. There's also a large cut along my left cheek just under my eye, my nose was broken in the crash and another cut goes down my left check onto the earlobe. I gasp at the sight I see in the mirror, it looks grotesque; I look like a Halloween mask, something you'd see in a haunted house. I shudder and grip onto the mirror handle. Tears crowd my eyes but I don't cry I hold the tears back.

"You can send everyone in but can you dim the lights a little more please?" I request with a trembling voice.

"I know it looks bad Clare but after you heal a little more you can have more surgeries to minimize the scarring. We still need further reconstruction of the zygomatic bone so that your eye socket is straighter. What you see in the mirror is only temporary it will heal like your other injuries," the doctor assures me and I nod. "I'll let your family and friends in now," he says and walks toward the door. Before he opens the door to tell everyone they can come in he dims the lights in the rooms quite a bit more. I lean back on the bed and wish I could cover my face in bandages again as everyone comes back in my room.

"Yiii," Drew gasps when he sees me and Bianca hits his stomach.

"It's not that bad," Adam tries to assure me.

"You're lucky to be alive Clare and the cuts will heal, you'll have one or two more reconstructive surgeries. In a couple of months you won't even be able to tell," Audra says in a reassuring tone.

"Yeah it's not that bad really," Owen agrees.

Everyone stays for about an hour before Audra tells them that I need to rest and they need to make the house ready for me to come home tomorrow. They all leave and I sink back into my bed, now the tears come breaking free and flooding my eyes. I cry for a long time and no one says anything to me. The nurse comes in once to check my vitals and turn out my lights but she says nothing.

"Why do you cry?" Fitz's voice asks in the darkness and my eyes open.

"Don't you see how hideous I am? How I'm so cut up and scarred, my bones haven been broken and misshapen. I wanted my bandages off and now I wish to cover my face with them again."

"What do you always tell me?" Fitz asks sitting on my bed and taking my hand. "You always tell me that the scarring on my face and the burns don't matter."

"Yet you always stay hidden under your hood even when we're alone sometimes," I remind him.

"I won't hide around you any longer," he says taking down his hood. "Am I hideous?" Fitz asks and I shake my head. "And neither are you. You're still beautiful Clare, gorgeous to me and your cuts will heal you won't look this way for long," he assuages me and I nod although I still shed a few tears.

"Hold me, please. Most of the tubes and wires are gone I'm just hooked to one IV and the heart monitor now," I plead with him. I've wanted to be in his arms for days but right now I want him to hold me so badly, more than that I need him to hold me.

"All night, I'll hold you all night long," he says. He releases my hand and goes around to the other side of the bed. He carefully gets under the covers and lies on his side with his arm around me.

"Promise me something," I request after a few silent moments.

"Anything Clare," he replies.

"Promise me that when I'm healed, when I no longer need to walk with a crutch and no longer have a cast on my arm that you'll take me to your home. I want to spend the night with you in your bed. Blindfold me if you have to, sneak me in but I want to stay the night in your arms and in your bed."

"I promise Clare; as soon as you're healed I promise that I will bring you to my home, I will show you my home and you will stay the night in my arms and my bed."

**The update on Saturday the 19****th**** will either pick up from Clare going home or Clare returning to school.**

**Tomorrow night there may or may not be a chapter of My Boys, My Girls, My Lovers Four. Tomorrow we move into our new office which means unpacking the boxes and getting everything set up again. On top of all of that I have quite the list of things to get done. I will try to get out at least a short chapter but it might not be possible. Keep an eye on my page of the DeGrassi Saviors website where the daily clue goes. Check it a few times throughout the day for updates as to whether or not there will be a chapter.**


	14. We're Different Now than When We Started

**Next week there will be no chapters on Tuesday or Wednesday and possibly Thursday. I will keep you guys updated but we have to meet a deadline of January 31****st**** and it's going to mean some crazy days and long hours so no chapters. Monday and Friday next week will for sure have chapters, Thursday might have a chapter depending on how the day goes. **

**There also may not be chapters this weekend because of work demands and a visiting friend on Sunday. I might very well have to work this weekend to meet the deadline which would mean not chapters. I will keep you all updated and keep an eye on the DeGrassi Saviors site Friday and Saturday for updates about this weekend and next week.**

**Everyone head to tomfeltonlover1991's page on the DeGrassi Saviors website and vote in her poll. She needs help deciding on a plot for a DeGrassi &amp; 5 Seconds of Summer crossover. You can vote as many times as you like so keep voting.**

**Ch. 14 We're Different Now than When We Started**

**(CLARE)**

"Ready?" Drew asks and I nod sliding out to the car door, he picks me up and I put my arm around his neck. I hiss and hide my face in his shoulder. "You okay?" Drew queries with a worried tone as he starts walking.

"My leg hurts and I'm not hooked up to a morphine drip anymore," I reply and he chuckles.

"They sent you home pain pills," he tells me and I hear the sliding glass door open. I was released from the hospital today and have been brought home. My bandages came off yesterday and even though Fitz made me feel beautiful last night I wanted to hide my face when I saw it again this morning.

"Clare you should rest, I'll make you kids a snack," Audra says as Drew sets me on the sofa.

"Do you want anything?" Owen inquires. He and Bianca came to the hospital to help bring me home and Owen and Drew skipped football practice to bring me home.

"Pain pills would be nice my leg and arm are in a lot of pain."

Drew gets my pain pills and Adam gets me some water. Owen turns on the TV and we watch TV until Audra brings down lunch.

"The doctor said it was best for you to rest at home this week, you can return next week. You won't have any more surgeries for at least a month. We thought we'd have a party at the house this weekend, a welcome home party and a celebration because the adoption came through," Audra says while we're eating.

"Sure that sounds fine," I nod. A party means people and no one aside from those in the room; Fitz and Omar have seen my face. I can cover some with makeup but maybe I can hide under a veil or something.

Audra goes upstairs and I finish eating, the pain pills take effect and I get tired. I fall asleep while everyone is watching TV. In the hospital I was under heavy drugs and didn't dream or at least I don't remember any dreams if I had them. But now I dream, at first of Fitz and I'm happy and calm but then the dream takes a turn and I'm in Eli's car speeding toward the brick wall. I see the wall approaching I feel the crunching explosive force as we hit the wall and then the pain as the glass explodes and showers me, cutting and lodging into my flesh.

"Clare, Clare wake up you're okay it's just a dream," Owen's voice commands and my eyes open. He's looking at me concerned and still has a hand on my shoulder where he was shaking me. Drew, Bianca and Adam all look at me with the same concerned look.

"Sorry I was dreaming about the crash," I apologize trying to sit up more but it's not working very well.

"It's okay you'll probably be dreaming about it for a while do you need anything?" Drew questions.

"Yes I need to use the washroom," I tell them. Using the washroom with a broken arm, broken leg and still healing cracked ribs is quite the feat. Audra and Omar already got a support for the toilet but I need a wheelchair or help getting to the washroom and then sometimes help with my clothes. I was able to get to the sink okay from the toilet in the hospital but they were right next to each other in this washroom they're across from each other. And of course I need a wheelchair or help getting from the washroom to wherever I was.

"I'll carry her Bianca you help her," Owen says. He lifts me up and takes me to the washroom and sets me down carefully. He leaves and Bianca comes in closing the door behind her. I'm wearing a dress which I thought would be easy but I'm finding it difficult to lift the dress and keep it up and get my underwear down. Bianca gets the dress up and tucks the bottom of the dress through the top so it stays up.

"Thanks I can get it from here," I tell her.

"I'll be right outside the door holler if you need help," she says and then leaves the washroom.

It's still very tricky getting my underwear down and then sitting down on the toilet, even with the support bars, while balancing on one leg. Getting my underwear up is even more of a pain and I decide to not wear underwear until I can at least use my arm other arm again. I didn't have underwear at the hospital most of the time and when I did there was a nurse helping me in the washroom. After I get my dress down my good leg is starting to ache and is shaking and my broken leg is in pain again. I try hopping to the sink and make it but have to catch myself and barely manage to wash my hand. Bianca must hear the sink because she opens the door just as I turn it off.

"You should have called for help," she scolds me rushing over and putting my good arm around her shoulders to support me. "Guys someone come get her before she falls and breaks her other leg," Bianca calls into the room.

Drew bounds over the back of the sofa and picks me up, "I got you Sis."

It's the first time he's called me sis and the adoption papers haven't even been approved yet. Audra and Omar assure me they will be but it's not official just yet. Still I like when he calls me Sis and I smile.

"Thanks Bro," I grin and he sets me back on the sofa. "That was exhausting and my leg hurts again."

"You can't have any more pain meds yet," Drew tells me and I twist my mouth. I didn't think my injuries were that painful but I guess the morphine drip in the hospital was keeping me from feeling much.

"Here let's elevate your leg that should help," Adam says gathering some pillows. Owen gently lifts my leg and Adam puts the pillows down then Owen sets my leg down again.

I spend the afternoon tired and in pain, I try to concentrate on the TV but it's not easy and by the time Omar comes home and Audra comes down with dinner I'm nearly asleep again. We all eat downstairs because otherwise someone would have to carry me upstairs.

"Drew will sleep down here in case you need help in the middle of the night," Audra says as we eat. Drew gives me a grin but we both know that he doesn't need to be down here because Fitz will come tonight. Of course Audra and Omar don't know that and so would think it necessary for Drew to be down here.

"Thanks Mom," I say without thinking and then look at her, "I mean Audra."

"That's alright the adoption is almost official you can call us Mom and Dad," she smiles.

Mom and Dad return upstairs after dinner, everyone else begins on their homework. I have no homework since I haven't been to school since the crash. I'm quite behind but I did catch up some in the hospital. Since the pain medication makes me tired I fall asleep again after dinner and don't wake up until I hear the sliding glass door, I look over to see Owen and Bianca leaving.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," I apologize.

"They're leaving because it's late not because you fell asleep. You'll see them tomorrow," Adam says.

"You should get ready for bed, I'll carry you into the bedroom," Drew comments.

"I do have a wheelchair," I remind him.

"And we have carpet down here, anyway the bedroom isn't far," Drew replies picking me up.

He takes me into the bedroom and gets out pajamas for me before leaving my room. It's rather difficult and tiring to get undressed and then get my pajamas on but I manage. Drew carries me to the washroom; it's easier to go to the washroom wearing only a nightshirt. I wash my hands and then Drew and Adam bring in a stool so I can brush my teeth. Then Drew carries me back to the bed and helps me under the covers.

"It's going to get exhausting and tiresome for everyone to help me so much," I remark.

"Your arm will come out of the cast next week and you'll need a little less help. Anyway we don't mind," Drew assures me. "Fitz should be here any time now, he'll sleep with you like in the hospital but I'll still be on the sofa just in case, and Mom and Dad don't know about Fitz."

"I'll be upstairs but I'll see you in the morning," Adam says and hugs me before going upstairs.

I ask Drew to get me some water before he gets comfortable on the sofa. He goes out to the kitchen to do just that and I hear the sliding glass door open again so I know Fitz is here. I hear Fitz say hello to Drew and they talk a couple of minutes before Fitz brings me my water and himself.

"Turn out the light," I request taking the water bottle.

"Are you tired?"

"Yes," I reply.

"You're not trying to hide your face from me are you?" Fitz asks turning off the light.

"I wish the bandages had never come off," I pout as he sits on the bed. He's taking off his shoes I can hear it.

"Clare you still look beautiful, I don't even notice," Fitz assures me. With his shoes off he lies on the bed on the covers and fully clothed still but he does take his hood down.

"To you it doesn't but I see how it's hard for even Adam and the others to see me. Mom and Dad want to have a party this weekend to celebrate me coming home and the adoption. A party is nice but everyone will see me for the first time and I don't want them to, I know how it looks," I comment moving over to lie on his chest as best I can.

"Everyone knows what happened it will be shocking at first but they'll get over it. Besides you have more surgeries and the cuts will heal. You should be getting to sleep," Fitz insists as his fingers begin caressing my back over the nightshirt.

"I've been in and out of sleep most of the day but I am tired," I yawn gripping his hoodie.

"Then sleep I won't leave you until the sun is up," Fitz insists and kisses my forehead.

I want to stay awake, to be with Fitz and talk to him but I'm exhausted and sleep overtakes me. I don't dream of the crash again with Fitz holding me all I dream of is us. When I wake late the next morning he's gone, back to the shadows and he'll stay there until the shadows are back above ground. The day is dull and exhausting, I spend most of it sleeping and when I'm awake I'm doing school work to catch up. Bianca and Adam come over right after school, Mom is home all day, Owen and Drew come after football practice and Dad arrives just before dinner. Owen stays for dinner and Bianca is staying the night, I like spending time with my family and friends but the best part of my day is when it's dark and Mom and Dad have gone to bed because that is when Fitz comes. He stays with me all night and though I'm asleep I feel the warmth and safety of his arms, I hear his heartbeat, feel his breath on my skin. I sleep comforted and happy all night long.

It's the same all week, dull days of homework and sleeping, the days get more interesting when Adam and Bianca get home and of course when Drew gets home. Owen is here most evenings too but Fitz is here every night all night and gone with the dawn. Saturday is different, my party is today and I appreciate the party but I'm afraid of everyone's reactions and more than anything I want Fitz to be with me. The family eats breakfast together in the morning. We learned the adoption became official on Thursday and had a small celebration with us, Bianca and Owen. After breakfast Mom and Dad go shopping for the party while I nap. I wake up when Mom and Dad begin setting up for the party and then Mom and Bianca help me get ready for the party.

"There's a Halloween dance at the school if you want to go, you'll be back at school by then," Drew comments.

"Yeah and Fitz could dress up in something with a mask so he's hidden," Adam adds quietly so the parents don't hear.

"But I won't be able to dance with a broken leg," I point out.

"We'll stay here, we can watch scary movies and then Fitz can hang out here," Bianca suggests also in a low voice and I smile.

"What about Mom and Dad?"

"They won't bother us and if we hear them coming down the stairs Fitz can hide in your room," Adam replies still keeping his voice low.

"People will be arriving any minute are you ready?" Mom asks.

"No," I shake my head.

"It's just a few people, your closest friends and our grandparents they all know about the accident and that your face was cut by the glass. They're here to celebrate not make judgements on your appearance," Adam tries to assure me.

"That won't stop them from making judgments or staring," I comment.

"Only at first, it's shocking but they'll get over it," Drew says and I hear the sliding glass door open. I look over to see Omar's parents coming in I've met them before at a dinner after I moved into the house. They live pretty close and they're nice.

"Hi everyone, hello Clare Dear, oh my you poor thing," Grandma says giving me a kind smile and patting my shoulder from behind the sofa as she doesn't seem to be sure how to hug me from there.

"The boy that caused this is he being punished?" Grandpa asks.

"He's still in a coma and in the hospital," Adam replies. Grandpa mutters something that I can't make out and Mom shoots him a look but the door opens again so no one says anything.

"Hi!" I hear Alli chirp. I know without looking she's come with Sav, Jenna, K.C. and Dave. Conner will come with Mr. Simpson because Audra invited him and he said he would come. Wes and Hannah were also invited but that's it since Owen and Bianca are already here and Fitz can't come, even if he'd been invited he wouldn't have come there's too many strangers. "Oh my gosh!" Alli gasps when she sees me.

"I know it looks terrible," I sigh.

"It's not that bad and you have more surgeries right?" Jenna asks.

"Yeah and the cuts will heal but it still looks awful," I comment as Jenna and Alli both hug me.

"Nah it just gives you character," Dave grins hugging me after Alli and Jenna.

Everyone else arrives and hugs me, of course they all gasp at the sight of me. They saw me in the hospital but my face was bandaged so you couldn't see the hideous cuts. Since I can't move from the sofa or much at all I stay seated and people come talk to me, mostly people ask me if I need anything though. When everyone gets over the shock of my appearance I become more at ease and enjoy the party. It only lasts a few hours so that I can rest. Owen and Bianca are both sleeping over tonight, Bianca is taking Drew's bed and he and Owen will sleep on the sofa downstairs. Fitz arrives a little after eleven but Mom and Dad are in bed. It takes me an hour to get ready for bed with the casts and all but Fitz does most of the helping and carrying since he's here. He puts me in bed and gets ready for bed himself; Adam bought him a toothbrush and other toiletries to have here since he's here so much. When Fitz returns to my room he reaches over to turn off my light but I stop him.

"Leave it on," I request.

"Okay," he responds sitting on the bed and taking off his shoes. He takes down his hood and I begin to shimmy so I can sit up but Fitz lifts me and helps me to sit up.

"I want you to take off your hoodie and t-shirt," I request.

"You don't want to see that," he argues with me.

"I do or I wouldn't have asked," I assert.

"Drew's right outside, so is Owen," Fitz whispers.

"I didn't ask you to make love to me I just want to see more of you. I want to see your skin, more than this," I insist brushing my fingertips over his cheek.

"You won't think so when you see it," he sighs but he takes his hoodie off and then his t-shirt. His neck, most of his chest and his arms are scarred. Most of it is burn scars from the fire obviously but I see other scars, cuts or scratches. I brush my fingers over the burn scars, it's changed his skin, it's very smooth and yet textured and rough in a way. "Freakish and ugly isn't it?" Fitz comments lying back while I'm mesmerized his scarring.

"No," I shake my head, "no it's not ugly at all, it's a map. A map to your life, behind each scar is a story and proof that even the worst wounds heal with time."

Fitz smiles and I kiss the middle of his chest, the soft and textured skin brushes my lips and I hear Fitz release a breath. He puts his arms around me and holds me to him for a moment before releasing me.

"Can I turn off the light now? I'd only do this for you I don't want them to see me this way," Fitz comments.

While I was in the hospital a curtain was put up at the alcove down here for more privacy. It was put up because they knew someone would need to sleep down here in case I needed help. The curtain keeps Drew and Owen from seeing what's happening in my room but they could come in and Fitz doesn't even take his hood down around them.

"You can turn off the light," I nod, "but keep your shirt off I want to sleep against your skin."

He takes the throw blanket from the end of the bed and turns off the lights. Then he sits on the bed on top of the blankets while I scoot down again to sleep. I move so that I can put my head on Fitz's chest while I sleep.

"The things I do for you," Fitz whispers as he begins stroking my back softly.

"Goodnight Fitz," I smile and kiss his chest again.

"Goodnight my sweet goddess," he whispers and I smile falling asleep happy and safe.

**Update on February 18****th**** will begin with Clare returning to school and probably include Halloween.**


	15. I Wish for a World Where We Can Be Free

**_ANNOUNCEMENT:_ I'm moving, not states again just to a better house in the same city. However moving means packing and that's on top of work so I've had to rearrange the schedule a little. See the DeGrassi Saviors website for the full schedule but here's the basics ~ **

***Beginning tomorrow (February 13****th****) it will be wild card shots until the end of the month is wild card shots. I won't be posting every day because I need time to pack and still working full time. I will pick shots to work on and post them as their done.**

***March will be short story month and then one shot week before regular schedule resumes.**

***April is still tax season so the regular schedule will resume but chapters for the couple of weeks will likely be short.**

**Remember to check my page on the DeGrassi Saviors website for the full schedule. **

**Ch. 15 I Wish for a World Where We Can Be Free**

**(CLARE)**

"I'll be here to pick you up as soon as school is out," Mom says dropping us off Monday morning.

"Stay I'll get your wheelchair," Drew says getting out of the minivan.

It's my first day back at school since the accident. My friends saw me at the welcome home/adoption party on Saturday but no one else from school has. I have an appointment with the doctor after school and hopefully will get the cast off my arm. They said the one on my leg won't be coming off until early December. At least I shouldn't need the wheelchair too much longer.

"How are we going to get me up the stairs?" I inquire.

"There's a ramp at the garden entrance," Adam says getting out and grabbing my backpack.

Drew gets my wheelchair just as Owen comes over and they help me out of the van and into the chair. Bianca's here too and every walks with us as Owen pushes my wheelchair. Kids in the yard start pointing and whispering. The crash was big news in the high school yard and I already knew people were talking about it. And now they can see me and the cuts on my face and it's just fueling those rumor fires. I really am trying to ignore them but it isn't easy and I start to feel very subconscious. When we get inside however I can feel Fitz, I know he's close and he's watching and I feel good again.

Owen pushes me through the halls and the others stay with us. When we get to my locker Alli, Jenna, K.C. and Wes are there. They say hi and welcome me back to school and we talk a few minutes while Adam opens my locker and gets out books since I can't reach my locker from the wheelchair. When the bell rings Adam puts our backpacks on the back of the wheelchair as before he wheels us to homeroom. Being back at school wasn't weird but being in homeroom is.

Eli was in this class with us, I look at his empty desk and the crash comes back. Eli used to sit at the desk and smile at me, make plans for us and then he tried to kill us so I wouldn't be with Fitz. I don't remember the crash itself really but I remember watching Eli heading straight for the brick wall. I remember the terrified feeling in the pit of my stomach and the thought that I was going to die. Adam puts my hand on his hand on my shoulder and I look at him.

"Are you okay?" Adam asks.

"Yeah it's just weird not having Eli at the desk and remembering what he did."

"He can't ever hurt you again or anyone," Adam reminds me.

"I know he's still in the hospital and in a coma and if he wakes up he'll probably never walk again. It doesn't change what he did though," I reply as the bell rings and Mrs. Dawes begins teaching.

When class ends Adam wheels me to chemistry. Alli, Jenna, Connor, Wes, Hannah and K.C. are all in class already. My wheelchair doesn't reach the high table but with some help I'm able to get into the stool. Of course when class ends I need help out of the stool and back into the wheelchair but now it's lunch and Adam wheels me to the caf where Owen, Drew and Bianca are. We eat together and feel Fitz watching, I feel lots of other people watching us too. Not watching the way Fitz does but gawking at me and whispering. I only have a few visible cuts on my face and they're staring and whispering like I'm purple with 2 heads and 50 feet tall. I can only imagine what they'd do seeing Fitz who is covered in scars. I try an ignore them but it isn't easy. My friends and my brothers are with me all through lunch and keep anyone from approaching or talking to me about Eli or the accident.

"Come on we'll spend our spare under the bleachers at the far end of the soccer field," Owen tells me as the others leave for class.

"I don't think my chair can go on the grass," I comment.

"That's okay I'm a big strong man and I can carry you," Owen remarks and I shake my head but I'm smiling. He takes my chair to the edge of the grass at the back of school and then he picks me up. He carries me out to the bleachers and before we even reach them I know Fitz is nearby. He's sitting in the shadows under the bleachers and Owen puts me down in Fitz's lap. "Girlfriend delivery," Owen comments in a sarcastic tone as he sets me down and I giggle.

"Thanks Owen," I grin as he sits down near us.

"Hi Beautiful," Fitz smiles giving me a soft kiss, "how do you feel?"

"Happy to be in your arms," I smile relaxing into his arms and for the first time since getting to school not feeling like everyone is talking about me and gawking at me.

We stay under the bleachers until just before the bell and Owen says we need to return to school. Fitz kisses me goodbye and says he'll see me at my house this evening but of course he'll be watching us in last period. Owen carries me back to my chair and wheels me inside just as the bell rings and we head straight for media studies. Owen moves one of the chairs at the table where I sit so I can get my wheelchair in. Drew and Bianca are first in the class and Adam follows a moment later. My leg is beginning to hurt but I have a doctor's appointment right after school. I make it through class but we're just watching a movie.

"We have to get to practice, good luck at the appointment Sis I'll see you at home," Drew says kissing my cheek when we leave class. Owen waves and Adam and Bianca wheel me out to the parking lot through the garden entrance.

"I'm going to stay at watch Drew and Owen at practice," Adam tells Mom.

"I'll bring them both home after practice I promised to help Drew with math," Bianca tells Mom.

"We'll set an extra place for dinner. We need to get going to the appointment," Mom replies.

Adam and Bianca help me into the van and Mom puts the wheelchair in the back. Mom drives to the doctor's office and she gets my chair from the back before helping me into it. It's a while before the doctor sees me and I have an x-ray before he sees me.

"Your arm has healed nicely. I'm going to remove the cast but it won't be able to use it right away it's going to be very weak. You'll need to keep it in a brace for a few days and begin strengthening the muscles. I want you to see the physical therapist at least a couple of times but they will give you exercises to do at home. Okay let's get that cast off," he comments and he steps outside returning a moment later with a nurse. When he cuts the cast off my arm feels so weird. It almost doesn't feel like mine, it's only free for a moment as he puts a brace on it. "You'll need the brace on for a week at least probably more like two but it depends on how quickly it strengthens and you're able to use it. Make her an appointment with the physical therapist as soon as possible. Keep it in the brace if you try to use it too soon you could reinjure it."

"I'll be careful," I nod.

"She already has an appointment we have a trusted physical therapist our family uses," Mom tells him.

"Very good, come back in a couple of weeks and we'll see how your leg and arm are. Perhaps we can get you out of the wheelchair and onto crutches."

Mom thanks the doctor and he leaves the room. Before leaving Mom makes another appointment for me and then it's back in the minivan to get to the physical therapist.

"Drew and Adam both saw this physical therapist he's very good," Mom tells me while we're in the waiting room.

The physical therapist is nice and he gives me some exercises to do as well as strict instructions so that I don't overdo it. After that we go home and arrive only a few minutes before Drew, Bianca and Adam. We stay in the basement doing homework and Mom makes dinner. When Dad gets home we all eat downstairs since it's very hard for me to get up the stairs even with help. After dinner when Mom and Dad go upstairs for the night Fitz comes through the door and I smile when I see him.

"Hi Gorgeous, your cast is off I see. How does your arm feel?"

"Weak and it felt weird when the cast was off. I have to wear the brace for a couple of weeks until it's stronger and then I'll have crutches."

Fitz smiles and kisses my hand. Bianca is sleeping over and Fitz helps me to bed with some help from Bianca. Fitz stays under his hood until the curtain in my room is closed.

"No take off your shirt I want to sleep next to your skin," I request when he gets into bed. He's already turned off the light and he still grumbles a little but he takes off his hoodie and his shirt. I kiss his lips gently and nuzzle against him with my head on his chest.

"I wish you could stay with me here always, that you didn't have to hide from my parents."

"Me too," Fitz whispers just before I fall asleep.

He's gone before I wake up, I used to feel him get out of bed and kiss my forehead before he left. Now I sleep through it, I hardly even feel his lips on my skin in my sleep. But when the bed is cold, when I no longer hear his heartbeat, feel his warmth or the silky roughness of his scarred skin I wake up. I look at the bed and wish he was here with me, wish that he didn't have to run and hide back in the shadows and the darkness, from my parents and prying eyes and harsh whispers of people that don't know what a beautiful heart lies under the scarring.

Even by Friday the whispers and the pointing at my scars or comments about the crash haven't stopped. At least I can spend the weekend hiding at home. Mom and Dad are home a lot over the weekend but Fitz still comes over and stays each night. He shows up whenever Mom and Dad go to bed or when they're out, when they're back or when it's dawn Fitz disappears. Back to the darkness before there's any chance of him being caught.

Returning to school Monday the whispers have died down, the staring and comments have nearly ceased. Some people are still doing it though; I guess they have nothing better to do. Even at school I'm happiest when Fitz is watching, I can feel him watching and I smile. A secret smile, a smile meant only for him but people notice the smile. I see it in their eyes; I see how their curiosity is piqued by the delighted smile on my lips. Only a few people know why I smile the way I do and when I do.

Tuesday is Halloween and a lot of people are in costume when we get to school but we're not. We're skipping the dance tonight and staying in to watch movies. I couldn't dance anyway and this way Fitz can be with me all night.

"At least you won't need a costume at the dance tonight," Marisol laughs when we get to school.

"Shut up Marisol or I'll staple your mouth shut. Besides we have way better things to do than to go to the dance," Bianca snaps back.

Nothing much happens at school, people are either excited for the dance or whatever trouble they plan for tonight. There's no football practice today because of the dance so the five of us leave as soon as school is out. Mom is here to pick us up, I have to ride in the van but Owen follows us home and Drew rides with Bianca.

"We're going to watch movies and order pizza, just hang out you won't need to check on us all night," Adam tells Mom.

"Alright have fun but it is a school night," Mom reminds us.

"Owen and Bianca can stay the night. Owen and I will sleep down here in case Clare needs help and B can take my room," Drew says.

"Okay just don't stay up too late you all have school tomorrow," Mom says before going upstairs. When the upstairs door is closed Fitz comes through the sliding glass door. While he greets me with a kiss Adam closes the curtains and Drew turns on the TV.

"I think we should get you out of this chair so I can hold you on the sofa," Fitz comments lifting me from the wheelchair and puts me on the sofa holding me in his arms.

We watch a bunch of scary movies but they're all classics, scary but not so scary at the same time. The scariest thing is Adam's phone ringing at a suspenseful part of the movie.

"Uh hang on," Adam says taking the phone outside.

Drew pauses the movie and people use the opportunity to use the washroom, including me. I use it last since it's such a hassle for me to use it and takes so long. I hear them talking when I'm in the washroom but I don't hear what they're saying. The talking ceases when I call for one of the boys to come get me from the washroom.

"Who was on the phone?" I ask Adam while Fitz sits with me in his lap on the sofa again.

"Eli's awake and he's asking for you," Adam tells me.

I grip Fitz's shirt and turn my head into him, I don't want to see Eli ever again. Not after what he tried to do, what it cost.

"You don't have to see him, not ever," Fitz assures me.

"Can we finish the movie now?" I request quietly and Drew starts the movie again.

I try to put Eli out of my mind, not to think of him, not to think of what he did or that he's asking for me. I try to enjoy the movie but it's hard and it puts a dark and sad tone on the rest of the night. We stop watching movies a little after midnight, Fitz carries me to the washroom and Bianca helps me get ready for bed. Fitz carries me to the bed; he brushes his teeth and returns to the bed. I hold him when he's in the bed, clinging to his shirt. I hold Fitz, I feel his arms around me, breathe his scent but I can't get the image of Eli from my mind. Not just the image of Eli but his face that night while we were in the car and heading for the wall. Eli's eyes filled with hateful determination, the calm malice in him as he was so sure his plan to kill us would keep us together forever.

"What's wrong?" Fitz asks in a soft whisper. He must know that sleep is elusive.

"I can't stop thinking of Eli."

"Do you want to go seen him?" Fitz asks.

"No I don't ever want to see him again but I can't get his face out of my mind. His face that night, in that moment just before we hit the wall, it's all I can think about and I can't sleep."

"Eli can't hurt you again. I'm here and you're safe. Think about something else, think about something that makes you happy."

"You make me happy. I want to be with you."

"You are with me," he laughs.

"No I mean I want to be with you. Without hiding, without sneaking around, without you disappearing when it's dawn."

"I know I want that too. I'm sorry that we can't, does it bother you?"

"It bothers me sure, I hate that you hide, I hate that I can't introduce you to my parents. I wish I could bring you to school and we could go out on a date but none of that changes how I feel about you."

Fitz sighs a little and strokes my hair, "Close your eyes and I'll tell you a story."

"Okay but it better be a good story to get Eli's face from my mind."

"Once there was a very beautiful girl with light brown hair and enchanting blue eyes," Fitz begins and I smile.

"Does she get saved by a brave but mysterious boy?" I ask.

"Now who's telling this story? Quiet and close your eyes or you'll never get to sleep," Fitz insists.

"Sorry."

"This beautiful girl was named Clare and she lived in a quiet house in the woods with a boy who loved her more than anything in the world," Fitz says and I nod sleepily. He continues talking and telling me a wonderful fairytale about us. I fall asleep to this fairy tale and wish it were real.

**I know it was on the short side and I'm sorry but the update will be Thursday Mach 3****rd****. I'll probably jump ahead a little and we are coming to the end of this story.**


	16. His World, My World, Our World

**Welcome to short story month! The first in 2016 and in an effort to get through some of the short stories and knock some off my list there will be three this year. **

**We moved into the new house but are still unpacking and work is still busy and will remain so until after tax season so expect some short chapters. I'll try not to skip any but it's likely some chapters will be short.**

**Ch. 16 His World, My World, Our World **

**(FITZ)**

"I want to bring Clare here tomorrow night. She wants to spend the night with me in my room and I promised her that when her leg was better I would bring her here. I don't want to just hide her in my room I want her to be able to meet people. Everyone knows what Clare means to me I know people want to meet her too," I tell Doc while we eat dinner Friday night.

After ten weeks of her leg in a cast she got it taken off last week. Her leg was still weak and she needed the use of a cane or crutches a lot of the time. Her arm was better now, fully healed and she'd been working with a physical therapist and with Owen to get it stronger. Even her nightmares had mostly passed at this point although she still had the occasional nightmare about the crash but I was always there to hold her and tell her she was safe. She still refused to see Eli, not that anyone blamed her. Eli was at home now but paralyzed for life and was having to learn to live in a wheelchair. From what we heard from the people who had been to see him Eli was angry about being in a wheelchair and was refusing to do a lot of his therapies.

"I know how important she is to you and I know that she's aware of the fragility of our world and the severity of this secret. You can bring her and introduce her to anyone that wants to meet Clare. Some people may not wasn't to be seen at all, I will announce that Clare is coming tomorrow night and anyone that wishes to can remain hidden. Keep Clare to your room and the public areas so that anyone that doesn't want to meet her or wants to stay hidden can do so," Doc tells me and I smile.

I finish dinner and help clean up then I leave for Clare's house. Even though it's dark outside I still take the tunnels most of the way and then remain in the shadows all the way to Clare's house. The basement door is unlocked and Clare is on the sofa with Drew, Adam and Bianca. They're watching TV and Drew seems to still be doing homework but the others are just watching TV. Clare smiles when I come in, I walk over and give her a quick and gentle kiss, and Clare's head disappears into my hood when I do so. Adam moves over and I hop over the back of the sofa to sit next to Clare. When I hear sounds on the stairs and know that one of their parents is coming downstairs I quickly hide in Clare's room. Audra tells the kids she's going to bed and reminds the boys to be in their rooms by eleven. For a long time Drew, or Owen when he was sleeping over, would sleep down here on the sofa, because Clare couldn't move very much and had trouble getting to the washroom so they were down here to help her. Of course I was always here sleeping in her bed and I could help her but her parents didn't know that.

"I spoke with Doc," I tell Clare when we're alone in her bed, "and he said you could come to my room tomorrow night and spend the night. I'll introduce you to people and show you around a little."

"Thank you I can't wait to see your world," Clare smiles and turns to kiss me.

"I know you have physical therapy tomorrow afternoon and family dinner but I'll come get you after it gets dark."

"My parents will be meeting friends for breakfast Sunday morning pretty early so I doubt they'll check on me. I'm also sure Bianca will stay the night again and she and my brothers will cover for me," she says.

I smile and kiss her temple, she nuzzles into me and we fall asleep together. I wake up with the sun, when I'm away from home I always wake up with the sun so I can get back to the shadows before anyone can see me. I kiss Clare and quietly leave before the sun has risen. Knowing Clare is coming I tidy up my room and spend most of the day doing that and telling the kids how wonderful Clare is. The adults and other teens down here either tell me they're very excited to meet Clare or would rather not meet Clare. Not that they have anything against Clare but a lot of people down here came from truly terrible situations in the world above. Many of them were abused even worse than I was and it made them distrustful of people from the world above and skittish around them. Clare already knows this and I'm sure she won't be insulted or hurt that some of the citizens don't want to meet her.

I eat dinner with everyone and then go to Clare's house. No one is in the basement but I see lights on upstairs in the dining room so they must still be eating dinner. The basement door is unlocked as it usually is and I go in. Just in case one of Clare's parents come down first I go into her room, I lie on her bed and read a book. When I hear several sets of footsteps coming down the stairs I know they're done with dinner. I hear Drew talking with Bianca, his steps are heavier and he's breathing just a bit harder than the others, but I'm sure he's giving Clare a piggyback down the stairs as he has been since her cast came off. I intend to wait a moment before coming out just to be sure Audra and Omar haven't come downstairs. Of course Clare already felt my presence here, Drew must set her down right outside her room because she steps in the room throwing her arms around my neck and capturing my lips.

"I packed a bag and I'm all ready to go. Bianca's sleeping over and she and my brothers will cover for me if Mom or Dad come down at any time," she says when her lips detach from mine.

"Then let's go, where's your bag? I'll carry that and you," I tell her. She points to her bag and I pick it up then kneel down so she can get on my back. Drew, Adam and Bianca are on the sofa watching TV.

"Have fun," Adam smiles.

"No sex," Drew warns me.

"Drew," Clare admonishes her brother shaking her head.

"Have a good night," Bianca smiles knocking Drew in the back of the head for his comment.

"We'll see you tomorrow, don't worry about a thing," Bianca assures us opening the basement door so I can go out with Clare on my back.

I take the easiest way to the tunnels that won't require any climbing. Once we're in the tunnels I set Clare down to get a break from carrying her. She can walk a short ways, linking her arm with mine we walk slowly until her leg begins to shake and I pick her up again. I carry her the rest of the way to my room and set her down. I set her bag by my bed and look at her; she wears a huge smile and runs her fingers along the wall.

"It's beautiful, almost castle like. I pictured more like old sewer and subway tunnels when you told me," Clare says.

"The subway tunnels lead into natural caverns and when Doc began this society he used what was here, just carved away a little to make rooms."

"It's wonderful, so much like a fairytale."

"I suppose it is. I've never really thought about it before. When I was first brought here it was just a safe place and then it became home."

"It's beautiful I can't wait to see more," she grins taking a couple more steps into the room. "Look at all the books," she says and her mouth curls up more into a further delighted grin as she runs her fingers along the book spines. "You have more classic books than some libraries," she comments taking my copy of Don Quixote from the shelf. "Mark this is a first edition," Clare exhales with awe after opening the leather bound cover.

I grin just watching her fingers run along the edge of the book cover and gently caressing the pages. I delight in watching her marvel at the book when most girls, most people our age probably wouldn't even care.

"Doc's family collected rare books, he brought his library with him and others have added to it. We have an actual library I'll show you tomorrow, the ones in here are just my favorites."

Clare sits on my bed and begins to read from the book. I sit next to her and listen to her read. Every word from her mouth is like a melody, every sentence a symphony played so exquisitely by the instruments of her lips and tongue. She doesn't just read the words from the page she brings them to life. I listen to her read two chapters before she puts the book down.

"Where's the washroom?"

"That is not so fairytale like. Come on I'll show you," I reply getting up and pulling her up with me. I take her down the hall and up the stairs to the washroom for this area, it's very medieval like and Clare grimaces a little when she sees it. "It drains into the sewer system but there's no flush or anything. There is a sink fed by a motorized water pump and soap and toilet paper."

"I suppose down here there are not a lot of options for plumbing," Clare comments.

"Yeah that and none of the people that started this place knew anything about plumbing."

Clare smiles and closes the door. I wait for her outside the washroom and when she's done and she's emerged I pick her up and carry her back to my room. We stay up late reading to each other, she reads a chapter and I read a chapter. When we become too tired to read we get ready for bed and I hold her in my arms. She runs her fingers over my scarring but it doesn't bother me. She doesn't do it in a way that would make me think she's disgusted by it. Rather when she caresses the scars I feel she feels their beautiful.

"I can't wait to meet everyone tomorrow and see your world," she says sleepily.

"I can't wait either."

Clare kisses my chest and we drift to sleep. We wake together late the next morning and we change for breakfast. Everyone else has eaten but I take her into the kitchen and we get breakfast. Some of the kids are in here and I introduce them to Clare. The kids ask her a lot of questions but she's patient with them and answers their questions.

"Come on I'll show you around before I have to take you back," I say offering her my hand.

"Can we go to the library first I want to see it," she requests.

"Of course."

I take her down a staircase that's been carved into the rock. Clare's leg is still weak so she leans heavily on me but she's able to walk the whole way. When we get to the library Clare makes a happy gasp and looks around at the many shelves which have been carved into the rocks and filled with books. She smiles with delight and looks at some of the books.

"More, I want to see everything you can show me," she insists with an eagerly excited smile.

I take her to the dining room and show her the waterfall cave and what we refer to the whisper corridor where you can hear people talking from above. Clare delights in everything, every sight, every sound, every sensation. Her excited and delighted grin never leaves her face. I introduce her to many of the people down here and Clare always smiles and says nice to meet them but she has the sense not to ask them any questions. When she can't walk I carry her and when she can't stand she leans against me.

"I should take you back now it's almost late afternoon I don't know how long Drew, Adam and Bianca can make excuses for you," I comment after noting the time.

"Is it that late already? I hadn't even noticed, my leg is shaking though I don't think I can walk," she replies and I pick her up into my arms.

"I'll carry you back to my room and you can rest while I pack your bag. I'll give you a piggy back to your house after unless you want to walk," I tell her.

Clare kisses my cheek and I take her to my room setting her on the bed. I pack her bag and she gets on my back, she walks a little but I carry her most of the way. When we reach her house everyone is out but the basement door is unlocked. I take her in and set her on her bed and she sends a text to Adam that she's home.

"Thank you for taking me to your world it was so wonderful to get to know that part of you. I wish you didn't have to hide so much in mine and I was thinking perhaps you don't," Clare says and I tense up slightly. "I'm not suggesting you re-enroll at DeGrassi or anything but perhaps you could meet my parents so you don't have to hide when you're here. I'd like them to meet my boyfriend. You wouldn't have to take your hood down I'd explain to them. Owen and Bianca could be there too and my brothers already like you."

"If you tell them about me and they want to meet me but I won't take my hood down and I don't want them to look for my family or ask where I live. I know your parents are good people I mean they adopted you and took you in, but you know my fear abo…" I'm saying when Clare cuts me off with a kiss.

"I know and I promise I'll explain it all and tell them that they can't meet you unless they agree to everything. I'll have to tell them a little so they know why."

"Then I hope they agree because I would love to meet your parents," I reply and Clare grins giving me a tender kiss.

**(CLARE)**

I stand in front of the washroom mirror and run my fingers along my scars. I'm getting cosmetic surgery today to fix the bone around my eye and minimize the other scarring. Of course they told me that there would be some faint scarring from the surgery but it wouldn't be as noticeable as the large gashes on my face. I'd almost gotten used to them at this point but after eleven weeks of having people stare at me and gawk at the cuts and misshapen eye socket, conjecturing on how they got there I was quite happy for them to be going away.

"You alright?" Adam asks appearing in the mirror.

"Yeah just looking at them again, soon they will be gone," I reply turning to my brother.

"Mom says it's time to go," Adam says and I smile.

We go out to the van and Mom drives us to the hospital. It's a bright sunny morning and as much as I'd like Fitz here at my side he couldn't be. I know he's close though I feel him near and I smile. My surgery will take several hours so only Mom and Adam are coming with me to the hospital, I'll have about an hour of recovery and then I'll be home and recovering for a couple of days and won't be at school Monday. Owen, Bianca and of course Drew and Dad will be at the house when I get home.

"Hello Clare we're going to prep you for surgery. Mrs. Torres you'll need to sign some paperwork," the nurse says.

Adam comes with me into the room, the nurse takes my vitals and I change into a gown. Then I get in the bed and they hook me to an IV and begin the anesthetic, because they'll be working around my eye and having to restructure the bone I need to be out. Mom comes in just as I'm drifting to sleep and she kisses my forehead.

"We'll be here when you wake up," Mom tells me and then I'm out. Waking up several hours later and it's dark now, one of my eyes is covered by a bandage but I open the other. "Welcome back Honey how do you feel?" Mom asks.

"Tired and my head feels big," I reply.

"That will pass; you should be ready to go home in about an hour. You should rest for now," Mom tells me.

"We'll be right here," Adam assures me.

I nod and close my eyes; the anesthesia is making me sleepy still. For the next hour I drift in and out of sleep until the doctor comes in. He checks my vitals and bandages and says I can go home. Mom signs some papers and Adam gets my clothes to help me get dressed. Adam helps me to the car, my still weak leg feels very weak after lying down and being drugged most of the day. The drive home feels odd, it must be the drugs. When we get home Owen comes out and carries me from the car, I could have walked but I don't mind being carried, frankly my head still feels quite large and my leg is shaking. Owen takes me to my bed and sets me down.

"Clare won't eat but I'll order pizza for the rest of you. Bianca do you think you could help Clare into her pajamas?" Mom requests.

"Yeah of course," Bianca nods.

Dad hugs me before going upstairs with Mom. Bianca shoos the boys out and closes my door so she can help me into pajamas. She does just that and I take a pillow and blanket to go out and lie on the sofa, I don't feel like eating but I would like to be with everyone. I'm still quite tired however and I spend most of the evening drifting in and out of sleep until while watching a movie I fall asleep entirely. When I wake up later that night I'm in my own bed and Fitz is with me.

"I was wondering when you would come in," I yawn sleepily and grip him a little tighter.

"I've been in here a couple of hours but you were fast asleep. You should go back to sleep it's very late, Drew and Owen are sleeping on the sofa down here and Bianca is in Drew's room. Go back to sleep I'll stay with you until sun is up," Fitz says and kisses my forehead tenderly.

I yawn and fall asleep again, but I wake up before the sun and Fitz is awake or perhaps awakens when I stir. We don't say anything just lie there holding each other. Fitz kisses me before he leaves and says he'll be back tomorrow night. I get out of bed and get dressed but with Drew and Owen on the sofa I can't exactly go out and watch TV so I sit on my bed a while to read. After a couple of hours everyone is awake and we watch TV. Mom brings down pancakes for breakfast and we eat together with the TV off.

"Mom," I venture while we're eating, "when my bandages come off I'd like for my boyfriend to come to dinner."

"I didn't know you had a boyfriend," Mom says slowly while the others look at me in shock that I'm even suggesting this. Dad looks as confused as Mom because of course he didn't know I had a boyfriend either.

"His name is Mark but he likes to go by Fitz and you didn't know about him because most people don't. Something terrible happened to him and he's been living in secret."

"Like witness protection?" Dad asks.

"Something like that. I want you to meet him but there's a few caveats and conditions."

"Caveats and conditions to meeting your boyfriend?" Mom questions with a cautious and suspicious tone.

"Yes for one he's going to wear a hoodie that covers his face and gloves all through dinner. You can't ask him to take them off and you can't ask him why. You also can't ask anything about his past, family or where he lives. I know this is a lot to ask but he's a wonderful boy, he's done a lot for me, for all of us."

"You said he wears a hooded sweatshirt that covers his whole face? Adam aren't you making a comic with a character like that?" Dad questions.

"Yeah where do you think I got idea, everything in the comic happened," Adam replies.

"Bianca and I have known Fitz a long time Mrs. Torres and he really is a great guy. He went through something awful and went underground. He really cares about Clare, he's the one pulled her out of the car when Eli crashed," Owen says in defense of Fitz and I smile.

"Well he's obviously important to you, to all of you. We'd like to meet him, he can wear anything he likes and we will be careful what we ask," Mom replies.

"Thank you this means a lot to me," I grin widely.

I eat with a smile on my face, I took a couple steps into Fitz's world and now he can take another step into mine.

**The next update on Tuesday March 8****th**** will probably begin with Fitz coming to dinner. It's also very possible the next chapter will be the last, if it's not the last there's probably only one chapter after that.**


	17. Endless Love

**Last chapter everyone I hope you enjoy it.**

**Ch. 17 Endless Love**

**(CLARE)**

"Just remember that you can't ask him to take off his hood or his gloves or why he wears them or…"

"Clare relax Honey we've been over this, we know all the rules you've been telling us for a week," Mom reminds me.

Fitz is coming to dinner tonight and I got my bandages off today. You can still see the suturing and the incision until they fully heal but thankfully we're on winter break and by the time we're back at school they'll hardly be visible.

"Sorry I'm just really nervous about him coming to dinner."

"We know he's important to you and that he's done a lot for you," Dad assures me and I smile. My smile gets a little bigger when I feel Fitz nearby.

"He's here I'll be right back," I tell my parents. I go downstairs just as Fitz comes in through the sliding glass door. I put my arms around his neck and capture his lips for a quick kiss. He grins taking down his hood for a brief moment in the dark room and kisses my sutures very softly. "Are you ready for this? Everyone is upstairs," I tell him.

"Not sure I'm ready for this but I'll do it for you," he replies and I grin with happy appreciation. He puts his hood back up and we go upstairs. When I open the kitchen door and Fitz sees all the light in the dining room he pulls his hood down a little more to hide his face as much as possible.

"Hey Fitz," Owen greets him.

"Hi Owen, hey Bianca, Drew, Adam," Fitz nods.

"These are my parents Audra and Omar," I introduce him to my adoptive parents.

"It's very nice to meet you Fitz," Mom says shaking his hand.

"It's nice to meet you both, thanks for having me for dinner," he smiles shaking their hands.

"It's our pleasure anyone so important to Clare is important to us," Dad replies.

"Dinner is ready why doesn't everyone sit down," Mom insists. We all sit at the table, Mom and Dad at each end, Adam Fitz and I on one side and Owen, Bianca and Drew on the other. "So Fitz how did you and Clare meet? That is on the approved list of questions isn't it?" Mom asks.

"Yes that's fine to ask," I smile.

"Clare was walking home through the ravine and two guys started to attack her. She was fighting them off pretty well on her own until she got knocked back and hit her head. I stopped them and took her back to my place because she'd been knocked out, Doc looked at her and said she was okay so I just waited with her until she was awake and made sure she felt alright before taking her home," Fitz tells them.

"That was the first day of school," I inform my parents, of course they weren't my parents at the time.

"I'm glad you were there then, and very glad Clare is alright," Mom smiles.

"It wasn't an accident I was watching Owen at practice from under the bleachers. I saw Clare walking through the ravine and instinct told me to follow her. Since that day we've had this kind of connection," Fitz tells them.

"So tell us about yourself Fitz, as much as you're comfortable telling us," Dad comments.

"I'll be seventeen in a couple of months. I read a lot; I spend a lot of time with the kids where I live, reading to them and teaching them. I watch Clare, Owen, Drew, Adam and Bianca at school and away from it. I don't mean for that to sound creepy I look out for them, protect them."

"That's very noble of you," Dad remarks.

"I guess so I just don't want my friends to get hurt," Fitz shrugs.

"Yeah but we didn't know he was doing it until we realized he was still alive," Owen comments. Mom and Dad exchange a look probably wondering when Fitz was dead or presumed dead anyway, but they have the good sense not to ask.

"So Fitz you said you read a lot what's your favorite book?" Mom asks.

"It's so hard to pick just one I love so many books for so many different reasons. Each one takes you to a different time and place with fascinating characters," Fitz says and I remember reading together in his room, the memory makes me smile.

"What about your education?" Dad inquires.

"Well up until grade nine I was going to school and then well…" Fitz pauses and I take his hand under the table.

"That's alright son you don't need to tell us anything you're not comfortable with," Dad tells him and I smile at Dad.

"Anyway now Doc teaches me whatever I don't read in books and some things are self-taught. I love reading, writing is okay I guess, science can be interesting at least some parts of it but I hate math," Fitz replies.

"I hate math too," Drew nods.

Mom and Dad ask him a few more questions, general small talk questions like his favorite food, sport, and other interests. They do stay away from anything I asked them not to ask but still find enough to ask, with other people commenting, to take up all of the dinner conversation.

"What are your plans for Christmas?" Mom asks Fitz as she sets out dessert.

"We have a celebration Christmas Eve, the whole community does. Actually I was hoping Clare could come?" Fitz requests taking my hand with his gloved hand and setting them together on the table so my parents can see. They both smile, although I'm sure they could already see how much we care about each other.

"It's alright with us as long as she's home by curfew. Since she's joining you for Christmas Eve perhaps you would like to join us for Christmas day? That is if you don't have other plans with the people you live with?" Mom asks.

"Yeah sure I'd love too, our big celebration is Christmas Eve so I'm sure it will be fine," Fitz replies. Even though his face is hidden in shadow we all hear the grateful smile on his lips.

"Good," Mom grins.

"Can we watch TV downstairs for a while?" I request when were done with dessert and Mom nods. "Thanks for coming tonight, I know it wasn't easy for you," I smile at Fitz disappearing into his hood to kiss him when we're on the sofa.

"I was happy to come, your parents are nice," he grins.

"At least now you don't always have to hide when you're at my house," I smile.

We watch TV for a while and Fitz pretends to go home when Bianca and Owen do. As soon as my parents are in bed he comes back to the sofa to watch TV with us until my brothers go to bed. Then Fitz and I get ready for bed and get in bed, he always sleeps shirtless now so that I can lie against his skin. He still leaves at dawn, kissing me gently before he disappears. I wake up a couple of hours later when I smell Mom making breakfast. I get dressed and go up to the kitchen. We spend the whole day together as a family, after breakfast we go for a walk and play in the snow. We return home for lunch and spend the afternoon playing board games. I'm meeting Fitz at eight so I have Christmas Eve dinner with my family and Bianca who is staying for Christmas Eve, and probably Christmas day since her Auntie is off somewhere with some guy.

"Fitz is here I'll be back by midnight," I tell my parents.

"Have fun," Mom smiles as I grab my coat and go outside to meet Fitz.

He puts his arm around me and we walk together to his home. I greet everyone at the ceremony and wish them a merry Christmas. I've met all of them now even if it was briefly although some of them are still rather skittish around me. Even though they have mostly shunned the world above their Christmas Eve is similar to most peoples, they sing carols, eat desserts and exchange gifts. Watching the little kids receive their gifts and their exquisite smiles is probably the best part. None of the gifts are store bought there are handmade clothes and blankets, ornaments, some people wrote poems, other people made toys for the kids, Fitz made a revolving bookshelf for Doc and a lot of toys for the kids.

"This is for you, I wasn't sure if I should give it to you now or tomorrow," Fitz says handing me a small wrapped parcel. I smile sweetly and unwrap it, my smile widens when I find a beautifully carved wooden box in the shape of a heart. "I thought you could keep your mother's ring in it, when you're not wearing it."

"It's gorgeous I love it thank you," I smile leaning in to give him a soft kiss.

"Merry Christmas Clare."

At 11:30 Fitz and I leave to go back to my house, Fitz brings me in and says Merry Christmas to my parents. Mom tells Fitz to come over at eight for breakfast, of course he'll be staying the night but they don't know that. Fitz says goodnight and leaves but he's only going around to the back and my room. Mom asks if I had a good time and I tell her I did and a little about it without revealing anything. Then I go downstairs where my brothers and Bianca are watching movies and Fitz is on the sofa with them. We watch the rest of the movie with them before they say goodnight and Merry Christmas and go up to bed, Bianca goes into the washroom to get ready for bed since she's sleeping on the sofa down here. Fitz and I get ready for bed and go to bed; he takes off his hoodie and shirt so I can sleep against his skin.

"You always sleep in your jeans I think you should take them off tonight. That can't be comfortable," I comment when he gets in bed.

**(FITZ)**

"I'll be practically naked without them," I reply as Clare tugs at my belt loop after requesting I sleep without my jeans tonight.

"I sleep in a thin t-shirt and pants pajama set, I'm always sleeping practically naked," Clare comments.

"Yes I know and I enjoy holding you all night long but I'm a teenage guy it creates other problems," I comment. Clare just smiles impishly as her hand rubs over my crotch.

"I'm in love with you, I want to be with you and make love to you. You can't still be worried about your scars you know I think they're beautiful. I think you're beautiful," she says running her fingers over the scars on my chest.

"I would love nothing more than to make love to you and if you are truly ready we will. But not here and not tonight I want to make it perfect for you," I tell her and she smiles looking up and kissing me softly.

"I love you Mark," she grins.

"I love you Clare," I whisper.

We fall asleep together as I stroke her back gently. We wake up Christmas morning when we hear someone opening the basement door.

"Merry Christmas kids, you guys should come up and we can pretend that Fitz just got here," Adam says knocking on Clare's door.

"Merry Christmas Clare," I grin and kiss her.

She says Merry Christmas and we get up and get dressed before going upstairs and pretending I arrived a few moments ago. Audra made pancakes and we eat together before the family opens Christmas presents.

"This is for you," Clare says handing me a box. I open it to find a picture frame that folds open. On one side is a picture of just Clare, she looks beautiful with a big happy smile and her eyes sparkling. On the other side is a picture of Clare, Adam, Drew, Owen and Bianca all together. "I thought you could put it in your room, that way when you're not watching us we're still with you."

"I love it thank you," I grin and kiss her softly.

Drew, Clare and Adam all get clothes and gift cards, Clare got some earrings, Adam some music and Drew some sports stuff. Drew gives Bianca a ring and his parents got her some clothes as well. Audra got some kitchen stuff and jewelry and Omar got clothes. After opening presents we eat a little and then play board games before Audra makes dinner or finishes making dinner I suppose as the ham was roasting for a while. Omar helps Audra but the five of us are downstairs watching a movie when Owen comes in.

"Merry Christmas gang," Owen says.

"Merry Christmas, did you get some good stuff?" I question.

"Yeah I did but you know what I'd really like for Christmas?" Owen asks sitting down next to me.

"What?" I inquire.

"To see your face again Buddy," Owen replies.

"Yeah me too," Bianca nods.

"You don't want to see that," I shake my head.

"Yeah we do," Owen says firmly.

"Mark they're your friends they care about you. You should show them, let them see your face. Remember they aren't scars they're a story," Clare encourages.

"Okay fine just remember I warned you," I sigh reaching up and slowly pulling back my hood.

"Fuck," Owen exhales.

"Oh Fitz, I wish we'd been there," Bianca says and her voice cracks slightly with pain.

"Shit," Drew exclaims.

"Whoa, gotta admit you do look pretty beastly," Adam says, "but the way you look isn't who you are. I should know.

"Damn that's bad. What are the other scars across your face?" Owen questions. Deciding they've all seen my face for long enough I put my hood back up.

"Cuts from my stepdad and Steve. I told you it was bad," I remark.

"It is bad but it's still you, thanks for showing us Fitz," Owen smiles.

I nod and put my arms around Clare again, Owen stays for about an hour before he has to get home. Audra calls us all up to dinner not long after that. We eat together and it's very nice, I never had this kind of thing with my mom and stepfamily and I never knew my dad. The first time I ever had this kind of togetherness or closeness with people was after I was burned and Doc took me in.

"Thanks for having me I had a great time," I say to Clare's parents at the end of the night.

"We were happy to have you and very glad you could come Fitz," Audra smiles.

"Goodnight Drew, goodnight Adam, Merry Christmas Bianca," I wave to them even though I'll see them downstairs in a few minutes. They of course know this and say goodnight to me. I kiss Clare tenderly and leave through the front door going around to the back and through the basement door. Bianca, Drew, Adam and Clare all come down just a couple minutes later, I watch TV with them until Drew and Adam go to bed at which time Clare and I also go to bed and Bianca starts making her bed on the sofa.

"I had a wonderful Christmas," I smile at Clare when we're ready for bed and in her room. "But the very best part," I say sitting on the edge of her bed and pulling her into my lap, "was feeling like I was part of your family."

Clare's lovely cherub lips curl up into an incredibly lovely and happy smile, the kind of smile that makes her entire face light up and her eyes sparkle. She links her arms around my neck and lovingly places her lips on mine. Her lips pull mine into a passionately loving kiss, soft and sensual she pulls away after a moment.

"You are a part of my family Mark, you are extremely important to me and my brothers, Owen and Bianca. My parents know that and it makes me very happy that you feel like part of my family."

I smile and pick her up laying her on the bed and we get under the blankets. I start to turn off the light but pause to look at her beautiful face. Her reconstructive surgery went well you can't even tell she was in an accident. There's a scar above her eye that goes into her eyebrow a little but the scar is so faint you can hardly see it. She's also got a thicker more visible scar but it's behind her ear and jawline so it's only visible if you're very close to her and looking. I kiss the scar above her eye, then the tip of her nose, then her lips before I finally turn off the light to go to bed. I take her in my arms and hold her close drifting to sleep and dreaming of Clare all night.

**(CLARE)**

"You sure you don't want to go to the party with everyone?" Fitz asks me. It's New Year's Eve and Owen, Bianca and Fitz have been hanging at our house most of the day. All of them will be going to a party at Julian's tonight but Fitz and I are going to a New Year's Eve party at his place. His community calls it The Night of New Beginnings which I think is wonderful.

"I would rather be with you," I reply turning my head up to kiss him.

"You could always come to the party with us," Owen comments.

"No way too many people. Someone will wonder why I'm hiding under a hood and they'll pull it down and people will be shocked at my appearance."

"Hey it's not that bad I don't even notice anymore, it's just you," Bianca comments.

"You guys have known me forever and you've been looking at me without my hood for a week now," Fitz reminds them. Since showing them his face at Christmas he's kept his hood down when we were all hanging out in the basement, of course he pulled it back up if Mom or Dad came downstairs. Adam was probably the least shocked but I had told Adam a little about Fitz's appearance and Adam has been working on the Dark Hood comic. For Owen and Bianca I think they were just happy to have their friend back no matter how he looked. I also think they just didn't see the scars sometimes, they knew what he looked like before and I believe that's how they saw him most of the time. Drew was used to it and all he cared about was that Fitz was good to me and a good friend. I would on occasion catch Drew grimacing slightly at Fitz's appearance but I think it had less to do with how Fitz looks and more about what Fitz was put through to get the scars.

"You guys go to the party; Fitz and I are going to our own party. Don't forget I'm staying at Fitz's tonight and tell Mom and Dad I'm at Alli's," I remind my brothers.

"We know, we've got you covered," Adam grins and then his phone rings. He furrows his brow at the number so he must not recognize it. "Hello?" He answers cautiously and then he grins and we listen to his side of the conversation, "Yeah that's great…awesome…yeah I'll bring one of my parents…great see you Wednesday."

"Who was that?" Drew asks.

"ARC Comics they want to turn my Dark Hood comic into a graphic novel. I submitted it a couple weeks ago and didn't think anything would happen but they loved it. Is it okay with you guys? I mean you're all in it," Adam remarks.

"I think it's great Adam," I grin.

"Yeah and you never use my name I say go for it," Fitz says with a smile.

"It's awesome little bro you should do it," Drew says.

"Yeah that's sweet Dude you'll be published," Owen nods.

Bianca agrees that it's awesome and Adam goes upstairs to tell Mom and Dad. He's up there for a while probably talking to Mom and Dad about it. We hang out for a couple of hours before we all leave for the parties, Mom and Dad are going to their own. I have a bag with me because I'm staying the night with Fitz. We walk to his community entering through the park; I know where most of the entrances are now, at least the ones in Riverdale. We stop at his room to drop off my bag and join the rest of his community in the great hall. There's food and music, people are dancing and talking. Fitz and I dance a little and eat a lot and talk to people. A couple adults stay with the younger kids who have fallen asleep, the rest of us walk through the tunnels to a spot where we can watch the fireworks from underground. We hear everyone counting down to midnight and the fireworks begin just as Fitz and I kiss.

"Are you still sure about tonight being the night?" Fitz asks when we return to his room.

"Yes I'm very sure," I nod with a smile. I didn't tell Owen or Drew that I was going to lose my virginity to Fitz tonight. I did tell Adam and Bianca who both made sure we were prepared with condoms and spermicide and a few other things.

"In that case we aren't sleeping here come with me," Fitz says taking my hand and my bag.

We walk down a set of stairs and a long hallway, past the great hall, across a bridge and around a corner and my breath is taken away. The room we come too isn't very large but there's a waterfall at the back of the room, candles are everywhere and a queen size bed in the middle of the room looks fit for a princess.

"Mark this is amazing, this room is beautiful," I grin.

"It's a honeymoon suite of sorts," Fitz tells me.

"It's wonderful," I smile looping my arms around his neck and abducting his lips for a fiery kiss.

Our lips break apart and I grip his hoodie pulling it over his head. I take off his t-shirt next and his bare chest is exposed. I softly brush my fingers over his scarring and trail open mouth kisses along his chest. Fitz unbuttons my blouse and takes it off and then my bra, he smiles when my breasts fall free and cups them in his hands. We sit on the bed and take off our shoes and socks before divesting ourselves of the rest of our clothing. When we're totally naked we look over the other's body, Fitz smiles a little when he sees mine but shrinks back a little when I look over his. The burning is extensive and it's the first time I've seen the totality of his scarring. Not just the burns but every other scar he has. I suppose it is grotesque but not to me, to me it's beautiful because it's a part of Fitz. It makes him unique, it makes him who he is, everything he's been through brought him to the person he is, a person that I love.

I smile at him and kiss his chest pulling him to the bed. Before I get onto the bed I grab a condom from my purse to be sure it's nearby. We lie on our sides and Fitz smiles at me, my stomach is filled with butterflies, I'm nervous but excited and happy. I'm nervous but not afraid this feels right, this moment right now with Fitz and the private waterfall room lit entirely by candles was meant to be. Our fingers run over the other's skin as our lips attach in a passionate kiss. For a while we just explore the other's body, our hands roving over each other's skin while we stay locked in a kiss. The more we touch each other the more our bodies get excited and Fitz moves me to my back. He smiles and kisses along my body while his fingers rub softly at my slit to get my juices dripping. When I'm wet and moaning in endless chains, eager for Fitz to fill me he rubs himself to get completely hard and puts on the condom. He smiles at me and opens my pussy lips gently, slowly penetrating into me but he stops when I whimper.

"I'm okay just go slowly," I tell him.

He smiles and stays still while his lips connect with mine. A deep passionate kiss relaxes me and Fitz begins to move again. Anytime I whimper he stops for a moment until my body relaxes and the pain diminishes. It seems like it takes a long time before the pain vanishes away all together but it finally does and I become enraptured with pleasure. My eyes open locking with Fitz and I smile gripping the back of his neck and gently scratching my nails along his back. Fitz begins thrusting a little faster, he begins breathing deeply and moaning a little himself. I continue moaning in endless chains while Fitz's first name drops from my lips with every bawdy baited breath. There are so many sensations coursing through my body it's like an explosion. Every single nerve in my body is tingling and awake, I grip Fitz tightly and wrap my body around him trying to meld my body with his. All the sensations seem to build to a point where I feel such a need for release that I think I might pop if I don't release soon. Just when I feel like I can't take anymore my body erupts in explosive orgasm. Fitz releases at the same time, we both moan and cry out the other's name, our bodies shaking and trembling wildly. Fitz slows down before pulling out of me; he takes off the condom and lies next to me.

"I love you Clare," Fitz says putting his arms around me.

"I love you Mark, I hope it stays like this forever," I grin nuzzling into him but I feel Fitz tense up slightly. "What's the matter?" I question looking up at him.

"I love you and I'd like for it to stay like this forever too but I doubt it can, we've taken a few steps into each other's world but I can't live in yours and you can't live in mine."

"I don't know what the future holds but I know that I love you, I know I feel safe with you, I know you make me happy. I know that the unspoken connection we have is stronger than friendship or love and that we can make it work. I'm welcome in your world now and you're welcome in at least a part of mine. You don't even hide your face around Owen, Bianca and my brothers now. I'm sure at some point you'll be comfortable enough to be without your hood even around my parents. Even if you never do I know that I want to be with you no matter what that takes."

"You are an incredible woman Clare Torres and I love you more than anything. I love how you love me and everything you've done for me and I know that I want to be with you no matter what it takes."

I smile linking my arms around Fitz's neck and our lips interlock in a deeply loving and tender kiss of endless love.

**Well it's been a great ride and this almost had enough chapters to be a long story. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Replacing this will be Lost in the Dark All You Need is a Spark which premieres Sunday, March 13****th****. **


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